


Fractured

by astachan14



Series: The Shiver of Light in the Abyss [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Spelling & Grammar, Dry Humors, Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship, Game Dialogues, Game Spoilers, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not Self-Insert, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, POV First Person, mild PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-23 06:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 72,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11397012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astachan14/pseuds/astachan14
Summary: It started with the dreams of a life I’ve lived, yet not.My name’s Kiara. I am many things; an orphan, a former marine, a retired operative, a gamer.Until one day I woke up as a Warden recruit, in the world I only experienced through computer--Thedas.With another Warden candidate in toll.Navigating through the world of conflicts as Warden Amell, Ferelden on the brink of a Blight and Civil War. What could a girl do for the people she cared for but never met?Featuring :: OC Amell, A Roguishly Dashing Cian Cousland and the whole casts of Dragon age Origins. Free spree of swearing.  MGIT with a twist. Definitely NOT self-insert. Story will run from Origins to Inquisition.





	1. Quaint & Curious

**Chapter 1 :: Quaint & Curious.**

 

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary.  
                              - Edgar Allen Poe.

 

* * *

 

 

A Lucid dream was said to be a dream which the dreamer was aware of dreaming.

That was what I was having. A lucid dream of my Warden Amell’s Harrowing.

The magic surged from within my body as I lifted the staff I won from Spirit of Valor. The tidal wave washed through my body and traveled to the fade-stick as a focus before the spell released and caught its target.

Rage demon screamed in outrage as it dissipated and as soon as it was destroyed, the wips fled the area.

“You did it! You actually did it!” Mouse turned back into its human form. 

My eyes narrowed at the man as it continued gushing about the potential it saw in me. But I had heard those lines before, knowing full well what the true form of Mouse was.

“The ones you betrayed before me. What were their names?” I asked, prompting a surprise look from Mouse. “I knew this was a little too easy.”

Mouse fed me the usual lies and trying to pitch a sell for a ride to mortal world.

Crossing my arms, I heard myself say. “I’m starting to think that Demon wasn’t my test.”

“What? What are you….Of course it was! What else is here that could harm an apprentice of your potential?” Mouse sputtered.

I gave it my best glare. And after a few moments passed, it laughed. “You are a smart one.”

The apprentice from started to shimmer and expanded, taller and taller. And Mouse was a mouse no more.

“Simple killing is a warrior’s job. The real danger of the fade are preconceptions, careless trust…Pride.” The Pride demon spoke down to me, in its hideous form it was hard to tell if it was smirking. “…Remember this, mortal. When your time comes, we shall see if pride would be your downfall.”

“What….” I frown deeper, knowing that the last words weren’t supposed to what it said.

But as soon as the demon fade away so was the world.

 

* * *

 

_Beeb. Beeb. Beeb._

My eyes blinked open, the alarm rang as I laid flat in my own bed. My body clammy and my head throbbed, a side effect from valerian incenses. I wouldn’t normally use it but lately the dreams started to disturbed my sleep more than usual. They were so surreal as if I’d just lived through them. And they were centered around one particular video game. Dragon Age, to be exact.  I’d almost expected to wake up to Jowan rousing me instead of a shrieking alarm clock.

The dreams had become more frequent, ever since I came home to the news of my adopted Father’s death.

It might be the amount of time I had spent replaying all three games back to back, as a way to cope with his passing as well as retiring to civilian life. Both were not easy but the former was more painful than a hardship. But when I submerged myself in the virtual world, the pain of losing was lessened, I felt the sense of purpose again.

In the game, I had mission goals, things I need to do in order to accomplish those goals. For a time, I wasn’t Kiara Arden. I was the Warden or Hawke or Inquisitor.   

That when the dreams of an apprentice mage Amell started. At first, they were fragments of events in her life, her time growing in the circle, but they were out of order, a jumble mess of memories. Until a few weeks ago, the dreams became clearer, more palpable. The bizarre thing was the event had never progress pass the harrowing. Last night was the first time I’d dreamed about going through the initiation.           

I’d tried switching from Dragon Age to Mass Effect, Final Fantasy or even the Witcher. But the dreams hadn’t stopped.

The alarm continued to ring while I laid in bed, contemplating. At one point the annoyance won.

After rubbing my face to clear the grogginess, I reached over and punched the accursed thing. It fell off the night table and stopped ringing. I would have to get a new clock but at least I got to beat it one last time. A small, childish victory. 

As I left the comfort of my bed, my eyes caught a photo frame, sat next to my PC – An older man looked in his fifties, there was a scar ran down on the left side of his cheek. He looked menacing next to a blond hair girl in her early teen, who was smiling widely at the camera. Both carried a practice swords in hands.

That was Jed Arden and me. The only father I’d ever known. 

My chest constricted as I took my eyes away. Remembering Jed always did that to me.

Suddenly, my stomach growled, demanding to be fed. I decided that surrendering to the hunger was better than reliving the pain.    

 

* * *

 

Britney Spears’s voice singing her _Baby one more time_ in my ears from my iPhone as I trotted across the street, humming along.

Yes, I loved pop songs as much as videogames, sue me! 

I got my Bacon, Egg and Cheese sandwich from _Sal’s Deli_ , a short walk from my place. Aside from some Soda and juices I didn’t stock my kitchen with fresh foods. The owner also had a son who’s serving in the Army, he always gave the discount to all military vet who walked in. So, _Sal’s_ had always been my breakfast place ever since I moved into my apartment above the store where I looked after now.

 _Maudie’s Magic Cauldron_ sat at the end of the main street, it was built with brownstones just like the entire block in late 19 th century. But my store was the only one business that was still occupied this block, the rest were either foreclosure or sat empty for years. My guess was that the tax here was pretty high, but Maudie who own the building where my store/apartment never really confirmed it.

Maudie Curtens was the store owner and technically my boss. She’s already in her late sixties and nutty as a fruitcake. She called herself a Wise Woman—a polite word for Witch and often tossed chicken bones or read tea leaves for divinations, hence the occult store she owned. Maudie lives alone about twenty minutes outside downtown where the store located. She’d basically feed and raised since I was about eight years old and left starving because my foster parents didn’t care that their own kids stole my foods, they only wanted the money the system paid them for me monthly and the social worker for my case was too dumb to actually caught on.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining. I had it much better than some other kids. I was never really abused so badly. Neglected? Verbally abused? Sure. But both Jed and Maudie saved me from the worse of it by giving me refuge when I need it until I was old enough to join the Marines.

 _Baby one more time_ faded away and _Genie in a bottle_ starting to play when I turned around the block, I noticed two teenagers walking out from the side alley next to my store. I paused the music and narrowed my eyes at them.

Both boys looked to be in their late teens, one white, one Hispanic. I’d seen them drove around in the neighborhood with older shifty-looking guys before. They were too busy looking at my building to notice that I saw them casing my place of business.

They weren’t the first to try. But before Jed died, the local thugs were too scared of him. They took one look at the old man and saw someone so badass they decided not to go through with it.

I guessed, they thought it was fair game now that my adopted father was no longer there to protect it.

The white kid turned around and finally noticed me. He gave me a leery smile. Because of my blond hair and blue eyes I probably looked like a dumb bimbo who was too dizzy to notice what they were doing.  

Oh, how I wanted to prove them wrong.

After two tours with the Marines in the Middle East, afterward I served as an intelligence officer until I retied and came home.

Jed was also a former Marine, he was the reason why I picked the Marines in the first place. Jed spent a long time in the service. He was also a retired HEMA* instructor. Aside from weird fascination he had with sword fight that he had instilled me with. The man also taught me other forms of martial art before I went into the Marines. And the time afterward I spent learning other useful things on how not to die. I could possibly disable both of them if they tried something now.

The other kid finally noticed me. Unlike his friend, his eyes shifted to alert mode, recognition in his face. He knew who I was. And I gave him a cool look as I subtly shifted my feet into defensive stance. But the kid grabbed his friend and dragged him away instead of confronting me.

Good choice.

I watched both of them departed. I stood there until I saw them got into a car and drove away before I fished my key out and opened the door.

Despite, unsettling feeling in me I thought that perhaps, they would be smart enough not to try anything.

The old bell rang softly as I pushed the door opened before locked it again, only to turned around and was greeted by a new display case. The object inside made me stopped in my track.

A twenty eight inches flat blade reflected the morning sunlight from the front window showing the blueish silver of the blade. Darker tone of curved bar cross guard and twisted grip with a disk pummel. It looked so much like _Starfang_ Greatsword in _Origins_ but with shorter size that the first time I saw the sword, I hadn’t played the game yet. I still gushed about how pretty it was, much to Jed’s disgust.

_A sword is a weapon. And a weapon is only a tool, you take care of it just as it takes care of you but it’s foolish to treat it as if it was a precious thing. Because in the end, a tool can break._

Yet, I’d never seen him use this said sword. It was always locked inside the case at Jed’s place. When I’d asked. He said that it wasn’t for him and when the time comes, it would be used as it should be.

Phone was in my hand and dialed before I realized myself.  

“Yes, dear.” Maudie’s voice answered after two rings.       

“Why do we have Jed’s prized sword on display? Did you forget our store is an occult store and not a weapon shop?” I asked.

“Because you will need it soon, why else?”

See what I mean, when I said Maudie was nuts? If she started calling herself _Sha’ira_ I’d launched myself to the _Citadel_.

She cut me off before I could give her any witty one liner. “By the way, I won’t be coming in today, can you please feed Oscar for me?”  

Oscar, a large black Scottish Fold, Maudie’s cat took that moment to jump on top on the register counter where I was standing. The little shit hissed at me before he started licking himself. I sneered at him. “The cat eats enough for three people. You know one of this day. He’s gonna be too fat to fit through a pet door.”

“Regardless, he still needs to eat, deary.” Maudie paused for a minute, I was about to say goodbye when she spoke again. “Ah….another thing. You better wear _that_ pendant of yours. And _don’t_ take it off.”

The pendant she talked about was the only think I have from my birth parents. When someone left me in a basket in front of the orphanage when I was only a baby, this eagle holding traveler’s sun dial pendent made from unknown silvery blue metal and my written name that was clipped to the blanket were the only things left with me. No one knew who was my parents was. You could say my entrancing to the world was quite dramatic.

Absently, I fingered the said pendant through my shirt. I rarely took it off anyway, even when I was in the service and even though sometimes Maudie’s raving seemed quite mad, it had save me from time to time, I’d never admitted it. My eyes moved back to glass display case and the gleam of the blade glaring back at me, something niggling in the back of my mind. I didn’t know what it was, but it was sure not grief of the memory of the man who raised me.    

“As you wish.” 

“Thank you for saying that, Kiara. I know you don’t take me seriously but you did it anyway.” She gently said. “And remember, logic is a funny thing. Sometimes the only way to win is to follow the tide.”

Maudie hung up. She loved having the last word.        

I made a face and put away my iPhone and glanced at the cat. “Well, it’s just you and me today, pal.”

Oscar got up and turned his fat butt to me, his tail swishing back and forth.

_The nerve!_

“Fine, ignore me. Damn cat. Let see how long you last without that canned food.” I muttered and started doing my opening routine while trying to ignore shiny sword in the middle of the store that kept reminding me that a blade would always be useless against bullets.

 

* * *

 

My dream started with Jowan and Lily marching in front of me through the hallway of Mage Quarter. A rod of fire hidden inside my sleeve.

 _Ah, the betrayal is coming_. Did the dream-me tell Irving about this little rouse? 

I looked down at stockroom receipt and saw that it was signed by Senior Enchanter Leorah. So, this was going to take the usual painful ride then.

“Mage Amell!”

Someone called out to me as I was reading the paper. I turned and almost startled when I came face to face with Cullen. In his Templar uniform. He was taller than I thought he would be. His handsome face was free of scar and the curled blond hair a shade darker under the lamp lights.   

 _Darn. How can a guy look hot in skirt?_ _Stop drooling!_

“Hey, Cullen.” I could feel the heat rushing up my face when he gave me a shy smile.  

Cullen had always been my in-game crush. When I found out that I could romance him in _Inquisition_ , I almost died from brain aneurysm.

He looked so young like this. All the innocent….

“…it’s nothing personal; I swear!” I was busy swooning and only caught the end of what he said. No matter.

“It’s alright, I understand.”

“Would really struck her down, if she had failed?” Jowan magically appeared next to me, glaring at Cullen.

“….I, um,  would have feel terrible about it. But…but I serve the Chantry and the Maker. And I will do as I commanded.” The color of his ears turned red.

“You’re a hypocrite, Rutherford,” Jowan barked in Cullen’s face. “You said you care about her but you’re ready to kill her if they told you to!”

“I…I….” Cullen’s starting to turned deep purple. 

The urge to throat-punch Jowan was overwhelming.

“We shouldn’t distract you from your duty….” I grabbed Jowan’s arm, digging my nails through his sleeves. He hissed but I didn’t let go and started dragging him away. I gave him my best smile. “See you later!”

Without looking back at my handsome crush, I kept hand on Jowan’s arm until we past the wooden door of the Mage quarter into Apprentice floor. The hallway was empty of other apprentices, Jowan finally pulled his arm away from my blunt claws.

“What’s wrong with you?!” He hissed at me.

“What’s wrong with _me_? ME? What’s wrong with _you_?!” I almost snarled. “Why do you have to antagonize him, Jowan?”

“Because He’s a Templar! He claimed he’s care for you but he’s ready to cleave your head off if you didn’t pass the Harrowing!”

Okay, that’s news. I knew that the rumor was there that Cullen had a crush on Amell or Surana but I never knew Jowan’d heard about this. For him, it’d always been about Lily and his escape before anything else every time I’d played through a mage origin. This Jowan looked like his head was about to explode at any moment. I swore there was smoke coming out of his ears.

Crossing my arms over my chest, frustration bubbled inside me. “It’s his job, Jowan.”

Jowan threw his arm up. “Why are you making excuse for him? Do you like him that much?”

I did like Cullen that much but my answers would probably make this conversation slid deeper down a cliff than it already had. Jowan seemed to take my silent as the reply he’d expected.

He shook his head in disbelieve. “Kiara, he’s a Templar.”

Huh. It’s weird hearing my name from Jowan’s mouth. But his word still bit into me nonetheless. “And _your love_ is a Chantry initiate. So, your point..?”

His face was a mixture of pity, disappointment and sorrow when he looked at me.

Were you feeling guilty that you’re about to use your friend?

Memories that was not my own surged; Jowan and Amell when they were children trying to cast their first spells. Jowan’s holding Amell when she cried over her first heartbreak. Jowan and Amell laughing at mundane things, being happy.

The memories of friendship of a lifetime Versus his pending duplicity. The two battled it out in my head.

The ache behind my eyes started to form, I rubbed the space between my brows. Can one get a headache in dreams? I thought dreams were supposed to be painless. Wasn’t that the point of dreaming?

“There you two are!”

Lily’s voice dragged me back and I realized that she wasn’t with us earlier.

“I went and made sure there was any Templars on duty at the door.” She said. Handing Jowan a small dagger. “Here, I stole it from the Templar armory, we don’t know what else they keep down there.”

Well, at least this version of Lily is a little bit smarter.

“Let’s not waste more time then.” Jowan took her hand and led us toward the double door.

Yes, let’s the betrayal commence!

 

* * *

 

The noise of glass shatter startled me from my sleep.

My eyes snapped opened in the midst of darkness. When you had lived half of your life with the threats of being assaulted during sleep either by older kids in the orphanage or your foster siblings and the other half trying to stay alive in a warzone, it’d drilled it into your instinct to be a light sleeper.  And every time something bad about to happen to me, for some unknown reason the pendant around my neck would grow hot against the skin as if zapping me awaked. It had saved me from the worst fates many times.

Just like now. It glowed almost silvery when the light from outside my window caught it. I laid still in my bed waiting of the sound that woke me up was just my brain playing trick with me. Turning my head toward my alarm to check the time and realized that I hadn’t replaced nor fixed it.

Another glass shattered, louder this time. It came from downstairs. Maudie’s shop.

Those two teenagers weren’t smart enough after all.

My body sprang out of bed as adrenalin pumped me, I grabbed my phone at the same time with the baseball bat that sat next to my desk. A second there I’d thought about getting my 9mm Baby Eagle out of its locked case. But it would take too much time. I decided to continue with a bat and dialed my phone.

“Nine, one, one. What’s your Emergency?”

“My name’s Kiara Arden,” I said to the phone as I tiptoed toward to door connecting the upstairs apartment to inside of downstairs storage room. “I live above my shop at Four, Two, Two East main street. Someone just broke into the store downstairs, please send someone.”  

I slid my phone in my pj pocket as I continued my silent walk toward to connecting stairs.

Maudie had refused to put an alarm on the shop, she said that between me and Jed there was no need.

Until now.

I pressed myself to the wall as I stepped carefully through the dark hallway. The street lights were only thing illuminating my surrounding, but it wasn’t my first time walking this path without the light. I’d practiced to do it by counting the steps, blindfolded, just for shits and giggles. Because I was weird that way.

When I reached the bottom step, another crash again.

Calm and steady. I told myself, lifting the bat with both hands and moved across the small storage toward the doorway.

“This place’s worthless, man!” someone cursed.

Footfalls and glass crunching get louder and louder as I neared the archway. I kept myself in shadow of the backroom as I peered inside the store.

Flashing of small flashlight moved in erratic movements. The two teenagers from today were busy ransacking behind the front counter.

“There’s not any even cash in the register!” The white kid slammed the empty register drawer closed in exasperation. While the Hispanic one was busy putting metal cauldrons inside a large duffle back, he was further away behind couple of isles.

 _Of course not, you daft tits. I have no alarm here, why we would I keep any cash in the store?!_ I almost smiled.

“Fuck this place. Maybe we can cook these mushrooms and sell them.”

“What about that shiny sword?”

_Oh, no you don’t!_

Adrenalin rush and uncontrollable alarm of losing Jed’s possession moved my body into hyper drive. And I broke the first rule Jed had taught me was to observe the opponents, checking their offensive, their weapons.

The white kid had his back to me while standing over the sword case when I swung the bat toward his head. He must have caught my reflection from the glass because he dodged left and my overhead blow smash into the display case instead.

The glass shattered and someone yelled.

“What the fuck!”

I swung the bat upward again, this time caught the kid in his shoulder. I was actually aiming higher but Baseball bat reach was shorter than what I usually practiced with. Nevertheless, the blow delivered a painful hit on my target when down to the ground, toppling over the broken case and screaming.

A loud bang erupted and pain bloomed on my shoulder. Instinct dropped my body to ground, losing the bat from the impact. Broken piece of glass pricked the palm of my right hand as I slammed to the store floor.     

Goddamit!

I could hear Jed’s voice ringing in my head. _Never bring a baseball bat to a gun fight._

No shit, Sherlock! It wasn’t like I had a choice. At least he and I was separated by a few wooden isles.

“You stupid bitch,” The one with the gun shouted. “You shouldn’t ha—AHHH!!!”

 A few seconds before the scream rang, I saw a small black bur rushed pass my face and leaped up in the air, claws extended.

“What the fuck!!! Ahhhh!!!!”

Feline hiss and yowl confirmed that a black blur was Oscar.

My heart beat in staccato inside my chest. The teenager I took down rolled awkwardly away from my position with my lost bat. Shit!

I scrambled the opposite side, trying to keep as much distant as I could. My right pajama sleeve was wet as well as my hand, a dulled pain let me know that the first shot might have caught my upper arm but as I could still function, I estimated that it was only flesh wound.

A flash of light caught the corner of my vision, I turned my face to the side and saw Starfang-look-alike laying among broken glass. I had no idea if the sword was ever sharpened but at least I’d have a solid steel to wack them over.

I launched myself toward the sword and grabbed its hilt. The cold handle wet from a cut on my palm. The blade gleamed under the street light.

Shadow moved above me, my body reacted and I swung upward.

Wooden bat clashed against steel blade.

Something exploded or maybe I was hallucinating. Bright light flashed, blinding me.

In the distant, someone screamed. Or was that me?

They said your life would flash before your eyes in the last moment of living.

Well, they lied. Because I saw nothing.

 

* * *

 

 **A/N:** * HEMA : Historical European Martial Arts


	2. Bright Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have included screenshots of both Cian and Kiara. I tried to make it as close to what I have in mind for them as much. As we all know that CC for Origins is pretty limited, even with DA Toolset. ); And then my computer screen made the colors came out funky. OTL

**Chapter 2 :: Bright Eyes.**

I have reached these lands but newly    
From an ultimate dim Thule—  
From a wild weird clime that lieth, sublime,  
Out of SPACE—Out of TIME.  
    - Edgar Allen Poe.

 

* * *

 

A hand touched my forearm, jerking me awake.

My eyes popped open and my body moved before my vision adjusted, years of training would do that to you. My left hand grabbed a wrist that connect to the one that had touched me, using body momentum I wrenched, twisted and flipped. Under three seconds, I had the owner of uninvited touch was on the ground with his hand twisted behind his back, my body straddled on top using my weight to push down another party in a submission hold.

“Maker’s breath!!” Unfamiliar voice gritted out from under me.

My eyes and my brain finally aligned. I saw head full of dark hair inches from my face. Dog barking in the background. I turned my face sideway and saw extinguished campfire and brownish grassy land.

A dog’s bark and my head swung the other side. Only to come face to face with a white and gray mabari hound.

 _Mabari-fucking-Hound_.

What the actual fuck!?

Darting away from the body. I looked franticly around. Trees, grassy knoll, travel packs and dirt roads.

Last thing I remembered was that Maudie’s store was being robbed. Gunshots, Oscar clawing someone’s face, a lot of yelling then everything went white.

Did I die and this was after life?

Trying hard not to hyperventilate, I glanced down at the Mabari in front of me. He tilted his head in confusion. _Yeah, you and me both, buddy._

Looked down at my supposed injured hand but found not even a single cut on my palm. I rotated my arms, there’s no pain either. I looked down at myself and saw yellow gold dress on my body. A mage robe. I touched my hair, which still the same length and color. My eagle sundial pendant glowed softly under the morning sun.

“Andraste’s tits! What was that?” My attention moved back to the body I tried to subdue earlier.

The man looked to be in his early twenty. A pair of green eyes on tan angular face, a dent or small scar on his chin. His hair, dark shade of chestnut brown stopped at his shoulder. You could describe him as roguishly handsome. His tall and lean body wearing leather armor, I also spied a daggers sheathed on his thigh. And a longsword sitting at nearby log.  

The white and grey Mabari trotted over to him and stopped in front of the man, putting his stocky body as a shield. He growled a warning.

Oh, shit…you don’t say…

“I….” I eyed the hound cautiously. Okay, this was Ferelden. Or I think it was. Owning a mabari wasn’t uncommon here. He might not be who I thought he was. Better yet, let’s confirm it. “Who are you again?”

One dark eyebrow lifted as he bent down and scratched his dog’s ruff. “Didn’t I introduce myself earlier? Well, no matter. My name’s Cian. Cian Cousland. And this is Marble” And the dog barked to the introduction.

_Ding Ding Ding!_

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” I whispered to myself and rubbed my face with both hands.

Emotions bombarding me like the Nazi bombing London during the Blitz.

Because, what should I be feeling when I was suddenly living in one of my favorite video game? Shocked? Delighted? Horrified? Excited? _Inconceivable!_   

I looked down at myself—in a mage dress. Did it mean this was a continuation of the dreams I’d been having?

If so, that meant I was now an Amell.

What about this male Cousland with a mabari named Marble? Where did he and his dog fit in? Would he perish during the joining? Or would I?

I glanced at him again. His arms crossed over his chest, head tilted, eyebrow raised. His dog was also uncannily in the same posture. They both still waiting for me to say something.

“Sorry about that,” I started. “When you’ve lived your whole life sharing your quarter with people, getting grabbed during sleep might mean something, um, unpleasant.”

Technically I didn’t lie. I did live through years sharing quarter with other people.

Something in his face changed at my reply. “I….Did the Templars really let that happened in the circle?”

A memory not my own surfaced, a certain older Templar and several younger apprentices at the tower—the images made me shiver. Was this Amell’s memory? But the disgusted I’d remembered was real. “Sometimes, they are the one doing the grabbing.”

“What?! They were supposed to protect the mages!” Cian said in outrage. His dog growled in agreement. “Is that, is that why Duncan recruit you?”

I almost laughed. He looked genuinely concerned. Waving my hand and explained. “Nah, I helped a friend break out of the Tower, turned out he’s a blood mage and a liar. He used me to run away and left me to the wolves.”

“What a bastard.” Cian looked angry on my behalf. Clearly Amell was furious when it happened to her as well, because her lingering anger still burn fresh in her mind—and in this case, my mine as well. Even knowing that it was coming. The pain was never lessened.

He mentioned Duncan, that reminded me…

“Where is Duncan anyway? Better yet, where are we again?”

“He went back to Lothering, saying something about checking the library there.” Cian shrugged. “We’re less than a day away from Ostagar. Duncan said we will continue travel as soon as he come back.”

Cian’s face seemed to cloud with worry. Ah, bringing the news about his family’s death to his brother weighted heavily on him, it would be even harder when he found out his last living kin was out there in the Wilds when the battle was all and lost.

Suddenly my eagle sundial heated under the fabric of my dress, almost too hot. It glowed bright silver when I pulled it out. It had happened to me couple of times before. A time or two during my bed time sharing a room with other older foster sibling. More than three during my tour overseas, once the it grew hot like this when I spotted a carefully hidden IED on the side of the road before I shout at my corporal to hit the break and stopped the convoy, which saved my hide.  

The pendent only did that when something about to shit on me.

Rushing over to where my supposed pack sat against the fallen log, I didn’t see any staff. Why wasn’t I given one? Did Jowan took mine when he escaped the Templars? No mattered, it wasn’t what I really looking for anyway.

I lifted the sack and bedroll up, Jed’s sword laid under them. The blade caught sunlight and gleamed at me as if saying hello. It looked to be in pristine condition, no chip in the blade as well as sharpened.

“Where in the Maker’s name did you get that sword?” Cian’s eyes narrowed at me but I didn’t have time for his inquiry, instead I grabbed the sheathed sword and threw at him which he caught.

“Something’s coming.” I swung my sword, testing the weight in my grip. The last time I had it in my hands, there was no time to appreciate the beauty of this fine craftsmanship. Double edges, flat blade and light in weight. Just how I liked it.

There was one last problem….

I sliced my dress above the knees and ripped the fabric up, shortened it. My right foot slid back, my sword moved into my preferred guard pose.

“ _En Garde!_ ”

“What…” Cian looked scandalous at my exposed legs but didn’t finish because his mabari leaped in front of us, the next second large group of monstrosities started to pour out from the wood line.

“Dear Maker! What, what’re those?!” Sword and dagger in his hands, Cian moved to my left side.

“ _Those_ are what you signed up to fight!” I replied, widen my stance.

The lead Hurlock that wore horned helmet let out a battle cry and his cohorts charged us. Cian’s mabari howled and leaped, as did I.

Nearest darkspawn swung his sword at me, I deflected his blow instead of parried. Letting his swing led my blade, I spun my wrist inward in a narrow arch and sliced off his sword’s hand. Continued my movement and my blade traveled like a snake and the edge slashed through neck’s muscle, cleaving it from his body as dark blood sprayed. One down.

The next didn’t wait, he rushed into me and I kept moving along my blade. _Two. Three. Four…_

Slash, slash, dodge, swing, cut, dodge, cleave. Repeated, not necessary in those orders. In the corner of my eyes, Cian darted back and forth while slicing his targets and fell them in synchronization with his war hound.

My heart beat in staccato, my body brimmed with Adrenalin, it had been a while since a combat rush filled my whole body. Jed’s blade in my hand cut true. But it was not all. Unseen energy that surrounding me leaped and coiled over my skin, shielding me. At the same time, a tiny little voice in my head whispered the words to me, asking me to pull the strings that I had privilege of holding since the other me could remembered.

So, I did.

Another group of darkspawns rushed me again, three at once. Holding out my left, I whispered an ancient word. Wintery cone blasted out, frozen my attackers solid. My sword cleaved the nearest one’s head while Cian stabbed the second from behind so hard the body shattered. His mabari mauled the last.  

An arrow flew passed my face and caught me on my left cheek before I spun out of the way. Pain stung me but forced myself to move into defensive position as the last Alpha Hurlock roared and prepare to charge.

His prolonged cry lost its voice when a blade thrusted through his neck from behind. The darkspawn gurgled and fell forward, revealed an older man with dark hair and full beard.

He’s tall and imposing, armors he donned was consist of leather dyed in blueish-grey and scaled mails of dulled silver. Two griffins spread their wings symmetrically on his chest plate. I noted that this armor was leaning toward a simpler design from DAII rather than the extravagant ones from Inquisition. And without a doubt I knew who this man was.

This was Duncan. The Warden-commander of Ferelden Grey Wardens.

Darn. This was too surreal!!

Duncan stepped over the fallen darkspawn corpses, he looked around at the carnage the three of us had produced at the same time pulled a cloth out and cleaned the blood off his blade then sheathed it. When he came closer for me to get a good look at his face, I realized that the man looked almost haggard. The dark circles under his eyes darkened, the pair of deep brown eyes themselves also shone dulled ached. The Calling must have been hard for him than anyone realized.

I picked up the ripped skirt from the ground, turned it inside out and used the clean side to wipe the blood and gore from Jed’s sword. I quickly examined the damage on the blade but turned out there was not even a tiny chipped on. Satisfied I folded the fabric and wrapped it around the sword. When I reached Ostagar, I’d need to find a smith to fashion me a scabbard or buy one from a merchant.

I looked back up from my sword and saw Duncan as well as Cian (and his dog) looking at me expectedly.

“Irving’d never said you have weapons training.” Duncan said, his expression blank. I couldn’t tell if he was merely curious or suspicious. “And you knew how to care for your sword.”

It didn’t sound like a question and more like statement.

“Because he doesn’t know.” I replied. Again, technically not lying. “I had wanted to be trained as a Knight Enchanter.”

“Knight Enchanter?” Cian inquired.

“They are very prestige mage unit that receives special dispensation from the chantry to serve in battle. I’ve met only two in my travel and they’d served directly under the Divine.” Duncan explained.

“The chantry let the mages in their ranks? Really?” Cian looked incredulous.

I snorted. “They do, when we’re tightly leash and pointing our blade at their opposition. The art itself adopted many traits from Arcane Warrior. The ancient elven fighting technique for their mages. But this teaching is also lost as well. Even the Dalish only have stories about them.”

“You are very knowledgeable.” Duncan observed.

Shit, did I say too much? “Well, the circle does have very large library.” And I played all three games as well as reading all the novels/comics.     

“A man once told me ‘A swordsman can forget to eat, to drink, to breathe, even, but a swordsman never ever forgets to care for his blade’” I added, quoting _Vesemir_ from _The Witcher_. Wrong game, same analogy. The first time I played The Witcher 3 and went through the old withcer’s death. It had hit me like a ton of bricks. Jed had only been death for three months and it was still fresh in my mind. The memory stuck in my brain like a hungry leech, feeding on my blood.

“A wise man.” Duncan said.

“He was.” I let the words sank in. Duncan seemed to understand the underlying. “He agreed to trained me even though there was a very slim chance that I could be selected to join the unit.” Blurring the facts and fictions together, a way to create a perfect lie. “He was a good man. He passed away before I went through my Harrowing.”       

“I’m certain he would be proud to know what he had taught would be serving the people with much greater cause as a Grey Warden.” Duncan stated.

Would he? Jed’d probably called me insane and told me to wake my ass up.

“We need to get moving.” The older warden said. “I did not expect the darkspawn to ventured this much north. This group seemed to be scouting party rather than stragglers. We need to get to Ostagar and proceeded with the joining ritual as soon as possible.”

“My brother-Fergus is supposed to reach Ostagar already. I need to,” Cian seemed to choked on his words. “I need to let him know about Oriana and Oren.”

Duncan gave him a sympathetic look. “You will, young Cousland. You will.”

 

* * *

 

Duncan offered me a healing salve for the cut on my face during our travel, which I accepted and coated it on. It wasn’t deep but would probably leave a scar. My first battle wound, from Thedas. Cian had asked why I didn’t heal myself with my magic.

After searching through Amell’s memories, it came to me that Amell didn’t have much affinity toward Creation magic which was base school for healing. The most she’d learned were several glyphs. Neither did she exceed in Entropy, unlike Jowan who did. Amell favored Primal School of elemental magic and certain degree of school of Spirits.  

It was a bit bizarre how I was able to flip through Amell’s memories as if it was my own.

Did Amell and I merely switch places? If so, did that mean Amell was stuck in 21st century during a robbery? Although while I was putting on the salve on my face, I had a quick chance to look into a small looking glass that I’d found in Amell’s pack. My hair’s still the same ash blonde shade, still the same length and mostly straight until humid got hold of it then it starting to curl at the end. My eye’s also the same shade of blue, even the beauty spots on my cheek and the faded freckles on my nose.

So, Amell must have look just like me. Or the me when I was nineteen years old. Because she didn’t look anything like me when I created her in game. Always rocking Blue-black hair, flawless face and bright green eyes. She was also friendly and always said nice considerate things, unlike my sarcastic self.

But unintentional facelift wasn’t the most important thing that puzzled me at the moment. There’s also Cian’s existent. And another fact that I rarely created male characters. He came out of the left field. Did this also mean in this world…this reality, events could be changed and altered as well?

Would I be here long enough till the end of the Blight? What about the Hawkes? Could Bethany or Carver be saved? Could Leandra? Anders?

Not to mention Solas?

Ugh. All the thinking already gave me a headache! At least I wasn’t dropped in Mass effect Universe, where milky way was about to be invaded by ancient machine race. A small break I was grateful for.

“Look at that old tower. Impressive that it’s still standing till today.” Cian’s words brought me out of the cloud.

Fortress of Ostagar loomed out of the tree lines. Ferelden banners hung high along the King’s highway leading the royal encampment. I turned my head and took in Tower of Ishal and agreed with Cian. Imposingly impressive. For generations, it had stood guarded southern land and probably still be here even after the coming destruction.

“Strange place for a battle…” Cian inquired. “Was it the king who picked this place?”

“The Grey Wardens scouted the darkspawn troops movements, it seems the horde concentration here growing in numbers everyday.” Duncan answered as we passed the camp’s makeshift wooden gates. “The king’s forces have clashed with them for several times, but here is where the bulk of the horde will show itself.”

“So, all of the grey wardens are here?” Cian asked. “I thought there aren’t many of you here in Ferelden.”

“Yes. We are all here.”

“What about Orlesian wardens?” I asked. Duncan glance over at me with surprise look on his face.

“Why would we need the blasted Orlesians? This is Ferelden. We can defend our own country!” Cian almost snarled and I rolled my eyes.

“They are Grey wardens, Cousland. No matter where you were born or who you were before. When you became a warden, you’re no longer under any specific nation’s color just because you’re stationed there. You are under one banner that is Grey Warden.”

“How could you say that?! Do you know what those Orlesians did during the occupation!” Cian gritted out the words.

“Yes, since I can read. I do know history.” Cian opened his mouth but I cut him off. “And would you let the world burn by the Blight just because the ones fighting it are Orlesians?”

This. This was the attitude Loghain had. This was the reason so many had lost their lives in vain in this battle. The hatred for the Orlesians that overwritten the duty of defending his country from the real threat. And if I’d got to stuck with a Warden who couldn’t see pass this, I was gonna be the one who get this presumptuous idea out of his head.

I stepped closer to Cian, he was taller than me, but not by much. And jabbed him in the chest with my finger. “Tell me, Cousland. What would you tell the families that they lost their loved ones to the darkspawns just because you couldn’t accept help from foreign wardens?”

“I…..” His face went a shade paler. Maybe using family topic might seemed a bit cruel so soon after what he just went through. And I might be wrong person for saying it. But it needed to be said.

Duncan stepped between us and put his hands on our shoulders. He looked at Cian. “Recruit Amell is correct in many points she brought up. We are the Grey Wardens, it’s only up to us and only us to stop the Blight. What she said might seem harsh at time, but once you become one of us, you will understand why something like races, nations or social status are trivial compares to the problem we will face.”

Marble let out a small bark and pressed himself to Cian’s legs as if to comfort his master.

Well, shit. Now I felt like an asshat.

But our conversation came to a halt when we saw a group of people approached.

“Ho there, Duncan!” Familiar voice called out. and Duncan rushed forward to greet the newcomers.

Cailan Theirin in the flesh!

I’d met him in game so many times. but this time, it was so much different. His golden hair shone even in the backdrop of orange sky, his armor silver and gold. The man didn’t even sound childish, he smiled with ease at the older warden as they exchanged small talks.

“I see, you’d recruited Bryce’s youngest. I think we only met once. Cian, is it? Your brother had told me much about you.” King Cailan added when he noticed Cian who stood in front of me. “He has already arrived with Highever’s men. We are still awaiting your Father.”

Ouch. Getting jabbed twice at the same place.

“He’s not coming, majesty. My father,” Cian rubbed the temple and gritted the words out. “He and my mother are dead when the castle was taken.”

“Dead? What do your mean? Duncan, do you know anything about this?” The King looked sincerely shocked while Duncan explained what had happened with Howe. He, then promised to bring Justice to Howe once the battle was over.

Cian’s body were tensed, his hands balled into fist. I could see that he wanted the King to do more but could do nothing but to accepted.

“And this is a recruit from the Circle of Magi?” King Cailan turned his attention to me. “I trust that you have some spells to help us in the coming battle.”

Feeling of a deer caught in the headlight was rarely applied to me because most of the time, I just willed myself to become transparent and ignored everything else but what I need to be doing.

But when Cian subtly pushed me forward to stand in front of the King. My usual practice seemed to fail. Especially when he gave me a welcoming smile. He looked so much his half-brother. A cutscene of his demise in my mind made me wanted to weep.

Someone jabbed me on my side and saw that it was Cian. I realized I haven’t replied. “I, I will do my best, Your Majesty.”

“Excellent, we have too few mages--” He stopped and his expression turned startled. “ _Whatever_ happened to your robe?”

Becoming aware that Cailan just regarded the disheveled state of my torn dress, the swollen cut on my cheek covered in salve, my bare legs were exposed from the knees down. Not to mention the dark splattered of darkspawn’s blood on my dress which visibly contrast on the yellow gold fabric, unlike Cian’s leather armor.

“We had a tiny scuffle with a group of darkspawn on the way here,” I forced my face to remain passive. “A little practice before the battle, you could say. If Your Majesty think I look horrid, you should have seen the other party.”

Cian coughed to hide his snort. Marble barked in agreement. Duncan looked deadpanned.

The King laughed. “Of that, I have no doubt. But we can’t have you walking around the camp looking, um…”

“ _Bedraggled_?” I helped him find the word.

“More like _gory_.” Cian added.

Marble barked his suggestion. Everyone looked at him and shook their heads.

“ _…savage_ ,” Cailan finished. “We can’t have other non-militant personals getting frightened of you warden recruits right before battle. It’s not good for moral.” He turned to one of the closest staff from his entourage. “Have the quartermaster prepare appropriate clothing for the Warden Recruit, tell him the royal treasurer will ensured he’s compensated.”

The staff looked at me disturbingly but he bowed his head and replied. “As you say, Your Majesty.”   

“I…..” Baffled, who was this man? Why would he offer to give me clothes just keep the moral up? That didn’t make any sense.

Duncan cleared his throat, stepping forward. “You’re most kind, Your Majesty.”

“None of that, Duncan. We are going to be shedding blood together after all.” He waved his hand dismissively but halted when another steward whispered something for only him to hear. He turned to all four of us. “I’m sorry to cut this short but Loghain needs me elsewhere.”

 We all bowed as the King and his entourage departed.

“If the King’s forces won several battles here already why don’t you look very assuring?” Cian voiced his query while we crossed the narrowed bridge to the King’s camp.

“Despite the victory, the horde grows larger with each passing day as I’d mentioned earlier. By now, they look to outnumber us. I know there’s an archdemon behind this but I cannot ask the King to act solely on my feeling.” Duncan kept his voice calm but both Cian and I could see that it was troubling the older man greatly.

“Why not? He seems to be holding the grey wardens in such high regard.” Cian said.

“Yet not enough to wait for the reinforcements we’d talked about earlier. He thinks our legends alone makes him invulnerable.” Duncan replied. “We have to do what we can and look to Teyrn Loghain to make up the difference.”

Forced my face to remain expressionless proved challenging when it came to the topic of Loghain. So many fans debated online about his betrayal, the consequences and what-if scenarios. For me, I still couldn’t decide until I actually talked to him first hand.

“To that end, we should proceed with the joining ritual without delay.” Duncan finished.

Cian stopped walking, his face looked a bit dismay.

“Ritual? What ritual?”

Marble whined questioningly along with his master.   

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N :: this chapter comes out fast because I had it done already.  
> The next one will be posted in about 2 weeks, meeting Alistair for the first time!


	3. Funeral, in my Brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:: Sorry, this one takes a bit longer, I had it done and was supposed to put it on auto-publish while I was on a trip to Japan but I forgot. Now, I'm back and here we are, Enjoy!

**Chapter 3 :: Funeral, in my Brain.**

 

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,  
And Mourners to and fro  
Kept treading - treading - till it seemed  
That Sense was breaking through.  
    - Emily Dickenson.

 

* * *

 

 

“What’s with all the secrecy?”

I could hear Cian’s question from behind changing screens where I put on a pair of pants that the quartermaster had procured for me.

It was the only normal pair not laced with gold or excessive furs. I’d grimaced and refused them but in the end, I just picked a pair of pants and fur-lined jacket from the large pile the King’s Quartermaster brought because Cian said that I would insult the King’s hospitality by not accepting his gift.

Duncan had taken Marble with him just like I knew he would and left us to get acquainted with the camp. Since the night had already fallen when we actually gotten into the camp. The old warden had postponed the ritual to tomorrow morning.

On the way to the quartermaster, people did give me scandalous looks, a mix between horrified and sordid. And when Daveth openly took notice of my bare legs, Cian valiantly stepped in front of me and blocked the view. I didn’t really care much about being objectified because I was used to it, but it’s nice to see Cian wanted to defend my honor, or my legs in this case.

I finished lacing up my boots and slid the jacket on, feeling grateful of the warm it provided. My pendent hung serenely but cold against the skin under the fabric, telling me of no immediate threat. I’d also found a scabbard for _Starfang_.(which I decided to start calling it that, because why not?) it wasn’t a perfect fit, since the smith who worked at the camp seemed busy enough as it is with repairing the equipment for the soldier.

Eying Amell’s backpack, I realized I really hadn’t have a chance to check its contents. Glancing over to Cian’s direction, he was still talking about what Daveth had told him. I decided this was a good a time as any and lifted the pack upside down, the contents spilled out.

The looking glass that I used earlier was the first thing I noticed. A small notebook that had notes about herbalism. A small dark brown leather bag contained several vials inside, three small vials of shimmering blue liquid-that I concluded were Lyrium Potions, two yellow ones of the same size vials-possibly regeneration potions, three green vials with a slightly different shape-that I had no idea what they did and three red ones that I believed was health poultices. This was probably Amell’s traveling potions kit. I also spotted a small single edge knife that Amell probably used to cut herbs. I checked the sharpness and found it to be in good enough condition. I slid the sheathed knife on one of the belt straps. I might not have enough time to recall the herbalism in Amell’s memories yet but at least this knife could still stick into flesh and draw blood.

And then, I saw a rectangle shape encased in black silicone—my iPhone.

I quickly picked it up and pressed home button, seeing 98% battery life and no service. All my music, photos and ebooks were all intact. A quiet relief bloomed inside me. It was a piece of home that I had no idea when I would be able to see again, especially if I survived the joining.

I turned it off for the time being, since I don’t know how long the battery would last. As I took a piece of kerchief and wrapped it around my phone, my mind started to ponder about the possibility of my arrival.

So far, I was still looking like myself—Although younger. My PJ didn’t come with me, instead Jed’s sword, my sundial pendent and my phone did. My memories were still intact, I could also recall Amell’s as well.

But what did it all mean?

Cian’s voice had me put a break in my train of thought for the moment.

Whatever my purpose was, being here. I wouldn’t find the answered until we passed the joining.  

So, I put all the contents back into the pack, strapping the sword to my back, I walked out from behind the blind and met with Cian who leaned against the sign post. “Do you think what Daveth said is true? Are they sending us to the wilds?”

“It’s possible.” It was more than possible. But since Duncan had said nothing else about the proceeding, telling Cian about what I knew might not be appropriated, I was still not sure what I could change and what I could not as well as the consequence of what I said might be.

“How long you think we’ll stay out there?”

“Since we don’t know what the nature of the task is, I don’t think we’ll know for sure how long it would take us.”

Glancing at him, I saw a distant look on his face and realized that it wasn’t curiosity about the Joining that he was thinking about. Cian’s mind still occupied with the thoughts of his family, his brother especially.

Taking a deep breath, I reached out and touched his elbow. Even though we’d been walking side by side to the mess area where the cooks serving dinners to the troops, Cian’s attention wasn’t truly staying at the conversation we were having. When my hand connected to his elbow, he startled.

“I know, you’re thinking about looking for him in the Wilds,” I started carefully.

“What?” He blinked.

“Your brother. You are worried about him.”

“Of course, I am! He was, he _is_ the only family I have left.” His tone almost defensive. I needed to tread this carefully, telling about his brother’s injury too early might just made the matter worse.

“Is he a trained soldier?”

“He’s an heir to House Cousland, of course he is!”

“Jeez, calm your tits!”

“Did you just tell me to calm my tits?” Cian brought both hands up as if to cover his non-existent bosoms.

I rolled my eyes. “Look, you said he’s trained. He knows how to defend himself and he’s not a child. There’re also a full party of scout out there with him. Maybe you should believe in him more.”

Cian was quiet for a while after that. I had no idea if what I said helped him or made it worse but he hadn’t say anything else. As we passed The Circle of Magi tents, a familiar voice had stopped me in my track.

“…..Should I have asked her to write a note?” A tall blonde man in a grey warden armor asked.

“Tell her I will not harassed in this manner!” The mage swiped his hand in anger.

One of the senior enchanter had his back to us when we moved closer to the pair. Cian’s attention fixed on their argument with intrigue. As for me, I tried very hard not to swoon.

Alistair Theirin crossed arms over his armor chest and smirked his retort to the mage. His white teeth flashed between his lips. His short blonde hair seemed darker that I remember in game, but maybe that was because of the night time light. Even with a standard grey warden armor he wore, it was obvious he had a body of a trained warrior. He looked to be taller than Cian. His shoulder boarded, his muscle almost bulked under the mails and leather. His smug face held similar traits to his half-brother. Golden, shining, striking.

I exhaled the breath I didn’t know I held in.

“Are you swooning?” Cian asked from beside me, smirking. “You are _swooning_!”

“Shh!” I elbowed his side, Cian grunted from the impact.

Our altercation seemed to gain attention from both the mage and Alistair. The former looked even more irritated when he realized he had audiences.

“Get out of my way, fools!” He stomped pass me and Cian but not before he turned and gave Alistair an evil eye. The man didn’t seem effect by it at the least.

Alistair waited until the mage disappeared through the throng of people, he walked toward us. “You know, one good thing about the Blight is brings people together.”

Cian snorted. “Yeah, all kind of _crazies_.” 

I had nagging feeling he directed the word _Crazy_ toward me.

Alistair smiled. “It’s like a party, we can stand in a circle and hold hands. That would give the darkspawns something to think about. Wait,…” He paused and finally looked at both of us. “We haven’t met, have we? I don’t suppose you happen to be another mage?”

Cian snorted. “I’m not. But she is. Until she starts brandishing a sword that is.”

Alistair looked directly at me. My face started burning. “Huh, A mage who carries a sword? That’s interesting. Do you even know how to use it?”

“It’s very easy, just stick the pointy end into people and occasionally slash tendons and muscles until they drop death. Would you like a demonstration?”

_Hello mouth, this is foot._

“Feisty, huh?” He laughed.

“More like insane.” Cian added.

“I take it you are the other two recruits that Duncan mentioned. If she’s the one from the circle, then you must be the one from Highever.”

“Yes, that’s me. We’ve met Daveth. He doesn’t look like to be a Grey Warden type though. Any other recruits we should know about?”

“There’s Ser Jory, I think he’s a knight from Redcliffe.” Alistair said and waved his hands indicating us to walk with him. “Duncan said that his recruiting trip had to be cut short because of amount of increasing darkspawns our scouts have sighted. So, he bypassed Orzammar. He did went through the Brecillian Forrest on the way up but the Dalish clan he’d hoped to meet seemed to have moved on.”

That was too bad, I’d have feel better to have one of the Dalish warden with us when we had to deal with the Dalish elves later on, and that also meant Mahariel was probably dead because of the tainted mirror.

“He didn’t go to Demerim Alienage?” I voiced my question out loud, thinking about the fate of Tabris.

“Whatever for?” Cian asked.

“There are elven Wardens, yes?”

“There are.” Alistair nodded. “In fact, Garahel; The hero of the Fourth Blight was an elf. I’m not sure if he was Dalish or Alienage elf, however.”

We reached the mess area and followed the serving line as Alistair continued to chat with Cian. I barely paid attention to the two of them, only because I knew what they were possibly discussing almost by heart. Instead I took in the surrounding and the crowds all around me.

If, the joining was done by tomorrow that meant two third of these people would perished in the coming battle. The rest was either deserted or followed the lies Loghain had painted so blindly.

Cian handed me a bowl of hot stew and breads. Alistair led us toward one of the table that seemed to be occupied already by several Grey wardens. I noticed that other soldiers seemed to sit far away from them. However, it might have been the other way around.

“What have we here?” A grey warden in Warrior armor asked, his white teeth flash against his dark skin. And waved his hand for us to join the table. “Name’s Gregor and you must be the new mage recruit everyone was talking about.”

I grimaced. “I haven’t done anything significant yet, why are they talking about me?”

“The king’s soldiers said that you slaughtered a horde of darkspawns on the way here then walked through the camp full of darkspawn’s gore and torn cloth. Even the King was terrified.”

Cian laughed, so I picked up the bread from his plate and shoved it in his mouth before turned back to other wardens and gave them my best poker face. “I’m just a circle mage who recently passed my Harrowing. Whatever give you the ideas I could killed an entire horde?”

They didn’t seem to believe what I just said, even blinking innocently wasn’t helping.

“I couldn’t care less, as long as you’re competent.” Gregor drank his ale. “It’s also help that you’re a mage. Tarimel is the only mage stationed here. And he’s always pissy.”

“I’m sitting right here, you lummox!” The warden sitting next to Gregor said, his auburn hair curled around by his pointed ears. “I’ve heard you are from Kinloch Hold, how’s First Enchanter Irving these days?”

The elf looked to be in the same age as Duncan, although he could be older and from his accent it was obvious he’s also Ferelden. He’s possible he was from the circle as well. “He’s alright. Although, he seems a little tired lately. I take it you’re also from Kinloch?”

“Ah, yes. I studied under Wynne for a time. She’s also here with the Circle.” He sighed at the memory. “Being a Warden is very different from being a circle mage, Even though I specialize in healing arts and often stay as support. First few experiences can be jarring for someone so sheltered all their life.”

I wasn’t exactly a sheltered mage but no point in bringing unwanted attention to me so I nodded along.

The conversation continued between Cian, Gregor, Tarimel and another Grey Warden named Rondall who I spotted a bow on his back. With Cian trying to ferret the information about The Joining from the other Wardens, I almost laughed at his attempt. The senior Wardens seemed to be amused by his antics as well, but to no avail they didn’t let anything slipped out. I shook my head and enjoyed the surprisingly delicious and hearty stew, the bread was a bit stale but it was understandable, anything was better than MREs. Who knew when I’d have a chance to eat decent food after the battle was over.

That was then I felt someone watching me. Mid-chewing the bread, I looked up and met with a pair of hazel eyes. They actually threw me off a bit, because unless you modded the game, Alistair’s eyes always show up brown or light brown in Origins. Even though his appearances changed in DA2 and Inquisitions, not to mention in Comics. They varied from different shades of brown to amber to green or even blue. I always thought it depends on the artist who drawn him or the game developer’s moods.

Now sitting across from him, under his scrutinized. Even with night time light, I could tell the colors kept changing. Maybe it was a fishwife’s tale that Hazel eyes could change colors depend on the owner’s moods, or maybe it was true.

Trying not to squirm, I asked. “Something on your mind, Warden?”

“You know... it just occurred to me that there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens. I wonder why that is?”

“I can handle myself better than most.” My mouth automatically said the words. Was it because It’d always been what I replied to him in game?

“From what I’ve heard around the camp, I’m sure you do.” He smiled, somehow sadly. “It would be a waste for you to….” He stopped and looked away from his food for a second before turning back to her. “…well, I do hope the ritual tomorrow goes well, ….for everyone.”

Alistair shoveled the food into his mouth and didn’t say anything else afterward. For an unsuspecting party, his words would seem to be a well-wishing. But I knew better.

There was a chance that I died from the joining. Because there were usually two surviving Wardens. And I still had no idea of my being here would affected everything else.

 

* * *

 

The cold air greeted me when I stepped out of the tents I shared with other new recruits. Between Daveth’s snoring and Cian’s grinding teeth, I couldn’t sleep a wink.

The waning moon hung above my head, giving me morbid feelings as I settled in front of the large bonfire the Grey Wardens had built. My eyes swept the area, It seemed other Wardens were either sleeping in their tents or standing guard somewhere because no one other than the King’s soldiers were around.

Waving my hand to form a warming glyph that I newly learned from Tarimel, I casted it on my fur-lined jacket. The glyph illuminated softly and the warm spread slowly. shielding me from cold Ferelden night. I was still amazed how naturally it felt when I used magic. I was like tugging the energy surrounding me and pushing the spell into reality.

Maybe, it was because Amell’s body was already attuned to Magic? From her memories, her connection to the fade had always been stronger than most. It was the reason she was so excelled than others who were the same age.   

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” A voice startled me and I turned to see the Warden Commander leaning by pillar.

“Duncan. I didn’t see you there.”

“That was because I didn’t want you to.” He moved from the position he was in, I scrutinized it and realized the shadow pocket that was perfectly blended to the surrounding and understood what he’d meant. The man walked over to one of the sitting log and took a seat. “Don’t take it the wrong way. I’m just accustomed to standing in places no one see me.”

I nodded and looking at the man, the harsh contrast of light from the fire brought out the dark circles under his eyes even more obvious. He looked even more tired than in game. The nightmare must have plagued his sleep worse than anyone had realized.

“You still haven’t answer my question.” Duncan asked again.

“I couldn’t sleep. Probably just being nervous about tomorrow.” I wasn’t exactly lying, I might just die tomorrow. Who’d knew.

Duncan nodded as he threw a piece of wood into the bonfire, it made popping sounds before he continued the conversation. “I cannot promise you a sure coming. No one could ever promise you that….”

The corners of my mouth turned down slightly.

In my head though, I knew it by heart what would happened. Getting darkspawns’ bloods and retrieved the treaties were the easy part. It was the blood drinking part that made everything else spinning. If I survived, then Cian might not. That would only leave me with Alistair. Or in the worst case, I died from the joining, then I may or may not wake up from this dream/reality/whatever. But the problem wasn’t the possibility of my death, it was the Blight that would be upon Ferelden no matter what.

So many would die in upcoming battle. Duncan, the King, many good soldiers. Then the following civil war that would claim even more lives.

And then, there was Loghain.

I had a brief audience with him when me and Cian ran into him after dinner. I didn’t openly have a conversation with the man, it was Cian and him discussing about what happened in Highever. And from what I observed, I saw a flick of surprise in his eyes, maybe he wasn’t part of Howe’s plot at first. But the man didn’t seem sadden or showing remorse about it either. Maybe Howe siding with him because it’d benefitted both of them?

“You look like you have something on your mind more than just what’s coming tomorrow.”

Duncan’s word dragged me back to the moment. I turned to him, it was obvious he’d been observing me for a few minutes now.

“…I..” I opened my mount but then closed it.

What details could I possibly tell him?

At the moment in time, Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir had been the Hero of River Dane. He had help King Maric driven off the Orlesians from occupying Ferelden. He’s the King’s General.

What would I say to someone that the man would bring dooms upon us all? Duncan would probably tell me that I was insane.

And let’s say, Duncan had believed me about him. What can he do? Even with the King’s support, demanding we arrest Loghain because the things he had not done? Cailan’d probably laughed in my face before executed me for even suggesting. 

I rubbed my throbbing temple and glance at Duncan, deciding of what to say.

“I just…I’m not sure…” I started, trying to find the right words to phase what I want to say.

“You’re worried.” Duncan said when I trailed off mid-sentence. Since I still didn’t know what to say, I just nodded. “It’s only natural. But I believe all of you will do just fine. All four of you are quite skilled, after all.”

I believed he referred about the joining. But the words seem too vague it could have been a lot of things. So, I gave it a little nudge.

“What will happen if we don’t break the horde here?”

Duncan’s face didn’t show much when he answered. “If we couldn’t, the darkspawns will spread further north. And it might be even much harder to end the blight.”

“It’s just seem a bit reckless, just to rely on only one man’s strategies.”

“You’re talking about Teyrn Loghian...”   

I said carefully. “I mean, no man is infallible.”

“Agreed. In spite of the many great deeds he has done for his country, the Teyrn is of course only a man.” Duncan gave me a small reassuring smile. “But worried not, young Amell. If that happened, we do have some contingency plans. For now, concentrate on the tasks you will be doing tomorrow.”

His smiled falter a fragment when he looked at me, his expression a mix of sadness and sympathy. Maybe even Regret.

It was a looked I had seen before every time on my former CO and my then case-handlers. It was a look when you knew the order you had given might have been a reason of someone’s demise.

“When you said to me the day we met at Kinloch Hold that you’d want to join the Grey Wardens, I remembered thinking ‘she’s a bit inexperience. But the eagerness to help will make up for it.’ And then, when you helped your friend even though by breaking the rules. I thought ‘She might just make a good warden after all.’” He said and looked back to the crackling bonfire.

“We don’t know what a future will bring, for tomorrow or even the upcoming battle, maybe we would all perish or we would prevail and live another day. Even then a path we, the Grey Wardens walk is not an easy one. There will be times when you would feel that whatever you do the results would be hopeless and unrewarded. I hope when those times come, young mage…I hope you would prove me right. Because when we stopped fighting, that is when we truly lost.”

Duncan sent me back to sleep after that.

As I pretended that Daveth’s snoring was just a loud desert wind and laid back on my bedroll, my mind still lingered on his words. I shut my eyes and hope tomorrow would not bring me death.

 

* * *

 

We broke our fast early the next morning.

In the mess area, I was greeted warmly by Wynne who gave me encouraging words while waiting in the food line, before she departed to sit with the other senior enchanters from the circle while me and Cian sat down again with the other bright-eyed Wardens.

I shoveled the food in despite not being hungry. Deciding to treat this just like any deployment I’d had, where I could always end up death or worse, my mind had settled down a bit more.

Right after breakfast, we met with Daveth and Sir Jory by the bonfire. Duncan gave out the tasks of obtaining darkspawn blood for each of us and finding the documents in the ruined outpost with Alistair as our chaperon. The dialogs went almost words to words as I’d heard in game. Mable would stay with Duncan in the meantime, the mabari didn’t look happy until Duncan promised him a large piece of lamp bone.

Alistair gave us a few minutes to get ready before we leave. I went back to the mess area for some dried meats. Amell’s memories reminded me that using magic as well as fighting would require extra energy. I thanked the cooked and double wrapped them before secured the package in my pack. Cian watched me silently as I did. If he was curious about it he didn’t ask me for the reason. We both packed our stuffs with potions and injury kits and checked our weapons one last time before joining the rest of the group at the wooden gate.

“I still don’t understand why we had to collect blood from those…. _creatures_.” Sir Jory stressed the word with disgusted. Daveth and Cian rolled their eyes at his statement but he kept talking. “Surely, by now the Grey Wardens would have plenty of them stored somewhere.”

“That may be true but what you all need is the _fresh_ blood. Or it won’t work.” Alistair said absently as the Guards greet us.

 _Yeah that still doesn’t sound good. Would you rather drink a 5 years old blood or freshly squeezed one?_ I still cringed at the notion of the rotten blood.

“What does that even mean?!” Sir Jory’s voice sound like someone who got his nads kicked, it was unbelievably high.

“It means we have things to do and if you don’t want to then maybe you should go back to Redcliffe, _Sir Knight_.” Daveth said the two words as if it was an insult.

Sir Jory looked almost pitiful. “…I..”

The wooden gate swung shut from behind.

“Let’s get to it, shall we?” Alistair said with a reassuring smile and my brain almost shot circuit.

The pendant cooled under the cloth against my skin, not telling me of any impending danger. I straightened my sword’s strap once again.

And said. “Yeah, let’s.”

 

* * *

 


	4. Eyes Unclosed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We dive in a little bit of both Kiara’s and Amell’s pasts while travel through the Wilds.

**Chapter 4 :: Eyes Unclosed.**

I felt a cleaving in my mind  
As if my brain had split;  
I tried to match it, seam by seam,  
But could not make them fit.  
               - Emily Dickenson

 

* * *

 

We started our trek down the dirt road that wrapped and twisted around the swamps.

In game, you couldn’t really walk into the water. But here, the ground was almost muddy, every step seemed like your feet sank deeper. I wasn’t complaining though. I had been in worse condition like walking in a dried hot desert with body armor or doing surveillance in the middle of Moscow’s winter. Korcari Wilds reminded me of the time I spent in _Louisiana_ _bayou_ with my former marines’ unit—Remy who was born and bred in New Orleans took us there during one of R &R between deployments. The different I could say was that there were no alligators here in these swamps, the fact I was grateful for. There weren’t too many trees in game, but you could say it was greener in real life here. 

Alistair and Sir Jory took point and led our group, although I was the one with the map in hand. Daveth walked the rear and leaving Cian trekking alongside me. I’d waited for us to be attacked by a wolf pack but almost an hour in, there was still no sign of them, even though you could hear the howling in the wind. They seemed to keep a distant from our group.

A sense of being watched had also presented at the back of my neck. I knew Morrigan was out here somewhere in her animal form. But since I had no idea what else she could shapeshifted into(besides, a bird or a wolf and later on, a dragon), I couldn’t pinpointed where she was hiding. And that wasn’t important for now.   

The tension reached its peak when we finally came across the injured survivor.

Cian rushed to aid him. Alistair helped bandaged his wounds and gave him a drink of water from his own canteen. Cian and solider had a brief exchange, confirming that the man wasn’t from his brother’s company before sending him on his way back to the encampment.

“Did you hear? An entire patrol of season men killed by Darkspawns!” Sir Jory couldn’t hide his panic any longer.

“Calm down, we will be fine if we’re careful.” Alistair said, his expression somehow felt like he wasn’t just reassuring the knight but himself as well.

“Those men were careful. And they were still overwhelmed. How many darkspawns can the five of us slay? A dozen? A hundred? There’s an entire _army_ in these forests!”

“You don’t need to kill an entire army, sir knight.” I said carefully. The men turned and looked at me. “We just have to fill up our vials with their blood.”

“And how are we supposed to do that without running head first into them? I…I’m not a coward but this is foolish and reckless. We should go back.”

“You sound like a coward to me.” Cian said. To my surprise, he actually looked calmer than when we’d started this trip.

Sir Jory turned a bit purple. “I…I’m simply just trying to stay alive.”

“A bit of fear isn’t unnatural, you know. Few relish meeting darkspawns up close, I know I don’t.” Alistair replied.

“I bet she does.” Cian muttered from my side, I ignored him.

Alistair heard what he said and chuckled. “I know _I’m_ relying on her to protect me.”

“Not the time, warden.” I forced my face not to blush. 

“That aside, know this, All Grey Wardens can sense darkspawns. Whatever their cunning, I guarantee they won’t take us by surprise. That’s why I’m here.”

Alistair’s words seemed to reassure Sir Jory enough for us to continue onward.

 

* * *

 Soon enough we came across the first group of darkspawns.

Sir Jory swung his great sword, cutting them down alongside Alistair as if to prove a point that he wasn’t afraid. Cian darted and dodged the blows before stabbing his foes with his trusted weapons. Daveth stayed at range and picked off enemies with his bow next to me. I didn’t draw _Starfang_ , instead I pulled magic around me, the unseen current danced along my unclothed skin as if it was delighted to be called by me. My hands air-drew several glyphs on the ground, Protection glyph-where Daveth and I stood and freezing glyphs where range enemies were, before Alistair bashed them with his shield.

We made a quick work finishing them off. When the battle was over, all four of us quickly collected the blood while Alistair stood guard in case of any more surprised attacks.

As I filled my vial with darkspawn’s blood, I could hear someone vomited. It was Daveth who was retching away his breakfast. Sir Jory looked like he about to faint but he pushed through the task and put a cap on his now filled decanter. Before I put back my own vial, I glanced over at Cian who seemed frozen with an empty vial in hand.

“Here, give me your vial.” My voice brought his mind back to focus. Cian looked down at my offering hand, before shakily gave me his decanter.

I made a new cut on my deceased genlock, this time on his short neck and jammed the rim of the vial there before squeezing between the flesh, dark blood spilled out in a gush and someone made a gagging noise.

That someone was Cian. He had a hand over his mouth, color had left his face. “How can you act so normal at a time like cutting open a corpse and taking its blood?”

Although I could understand what he was saying but I didn’t have good enough answers for him, I just shrugged.

“Believe me, this is far from _normal_.”

And it wasn’t. Nothing in my life had been. My career as a marine had showed me many despicable things people willing to do to each other in the name of wars. Then my life as a solo operative had taught me to learn worse things to survive. I had done many things considered morally questionable in the name of my country. I had never regret it, nor I would take it back for a chance at a _normal_ life.

After years with a life I’d had, gore no longer frightened me. It’d still disturbed me sometimes, the experiences didn’t make me entirely emotionless but I could no longer effort for it to render me useless in the field, not when I could live or die by a mere moment.      

I handed him back the vial filled with tainted blood. Cian accepted it unsteadily. And I took time to observe him while he put away his vial. True, he looked a bit shaken by the experience, I didn’t think the battle with the creatures had troubled him, it hadn’t before when we traveled to Ostagar, it was the act afterward that distressed his sensibility. The darkspawns might be mindless, soulless beings but the sense of moral probably told him that cutting their corpses open and took the blood was still wrong.

I’d wanted to smile. At least, this Cousland isn’t a psychotic asshole, maybe Ferelden might still be saved, even if me and my foreknowledge didn’t survive the coming joining.

I patted him on the shoulder, he gave me a questioning look but remained silent. And we both went to join the rest of the party.

 

* * *

Since the business of getting darkspawn’s blood had finished, we all agreed to avoid unnecessary confrontation and found the route that would brought us straight to the old Grey Warden’s outpost. Alistair didn’t seem to have any objection with that. We were still attacked by some stragglers but by the time we reached the old wooden bridge, I still haven’t seen the Hurlock Emissary like I usually did in game. And since I rather not have fireball in my face, I was quite relieved.

I spotted the wildflowers in the corner of my eyes and broke the formation to picked them up. They bloomed in a small bunch, not like a single lone flower I remembered. The red tinted the center of ivory petals. I plucked all of them up, separated one for the Hound master, and collect the rest for future use, if I survived tonight. I had no idea how this flower would cure a mabari hound from a taint, the details were too fuzzy even with all the codex, maybe not entirely cured but they somewhat lessened the poison from darkspawn’s blood. I made note in my mind to ask the kennel master about this ointment when I delivered the flower, it might just come in handy later.  

Daveth commented about the flowers I picked up word to word. And I just agreed along, I didn’t need the reward, I didn’t do it because I want a mabari either. We already had Marble. And I doubted I could keep any pets alive, after all I’d barely tolerated Maudie’s cat-Oscar. But saving just one more life from this godforsaken disaster was a good enough for me.

The ruined battlements stood solemnly on top of a small hill. If I remembered correctly, this archive tower was built before the third Blight and was abandoned long before the Grey Wardens were exiled from Ferelden. Mother nature had not been kind to the old outpost. Trees had grown, taken roots and broke apart the stone that once fortified the buildings. It was now laying in shamble among the green mosses and wild flowers.

We came to a stop at the top of the hill. Broken stones formed a halo like a Fairy Ring. I wasn’t one for superstitious but Maudie definitely was.

_Do take care not to walk into a fairy ring, dear. We don’t want you to get spirit away now, do we?_

I could almost hear her saying. And from the look of things, I would say no fairy ring could help me escape this _Charlie Foxtrot*_. 

The vegetations seemed to overgrow the area, mosses and grass covered box-shaped objects that scattered around.

“…I doubt any _papers_ would survive in this condition.” Cian said grimly as he looked around.

They almost didn’t.

“Well, Duncan did say that the document should be protected by magic seal. So, to start with…” Alistair turned to me. “…Can you tell us any of these boxes are covered in magic?”

All four of them looking expectedly at me. While I thought, _what the hell?_ I didn’t remember being put on a spot like a magic radar.

Ignored the watching eyes. I tried to dig up any memories of detecting any enchantment or ward from Amell’s memories.

A flicker image of an older boy with blond hair talking to me.

_“Magic came from the Fade.” He said with a smile, his brown eyes twinkled in the candle light. I listened to him with full attention, though his pretty chocolate eyes made it hard to concentrate. “When you pulled it pass the veil, there are always residues left even when the spell itself is gone. But be careful, when you reach out into the unknow, sometimes they reach back.”_

Huh….?

A rush of heartbeats made my chest tightened, distant feelings I recalled were jumble mess of infatuation, disappointment and sadness.

Was this someone whom Amell had a crush on in the past? Somehow it felt almost I’d intruded on the territory that wasn’t mine. 

“What’s the matter?” Alistair asked me when he saw me frowning.

“Just….. give me a minute.” I said and tried to shake off the feelings that wasn’t mine to feel. Whoever it was, now wasn’t the time.

Lifting both of my hands and closed my eyes. I reached out with my own magic. Just like when I was casting spells or drawing glyphs from earlier, the energy surrounding me rushed back to meet my own. At first, it was like having several textures of living fabric dragging across my skin, they pushed and nudged as if asking for a response back. But when I didn’t, the weight around me became heavier, instead of textile surface it gradually turned liquid. In a matter of minutes, I felt like I had submerged under water. The pressure pushed me from every direction, accompanied by fainted voices.

_Call us. Use us._

_So much pain. So many lies._

_My faults, they’re death. He’s dead. If I only I listen to him. Too late, no way out._

_We are here, come and pull our strings._

_Why me? Why the pain never stopped? What is my purpose?_

_We have answers._

_CallUsCallUsCallUsCallUs….._   

Voices, whispering at first and then grew louder. Shouting, screaming.

Whose voice was it? Mine? Someone else’? .... the spirits?

The suddenness of realization forced me to open my eyes. A sensation of drowning made me gasp for breath, I felt like somebody dropped a heavy ton of weight on top of my body. My legs gave out and fell face first to the ground.

Only I didn’t.

Someone had caught me by the shoulder before I kissed the dirt.

“Whoa! Easy there!” The hands tried to steady me by holding me up. I tried to catch my breath as the pressure around me lessened, my blurred vision slowly came into focus.

I realized, the one holding me was none other than Alistair.

His changeable hazel eyes seemed genuinely concerned. The emotional side of me that wanted to blush from being held close by a handsome man was batted away by my rational one. It was telling me the reason why the energy around me had retreated, it was probably because a Templar’s presence. If the lump in my throat wasn’t choking me already, I would have laugh.

I had no idea if that what had happened but it was the only one my brain could accept right now.

“I’m alright.” I detangled myself from his hands, wanting to put a distant from my in game crush, well he was one of them. Along with Cullen and Fenris.

It was one thing, spending time in game being closed to him through an avatar, this was another thing entirely having him so near _in person_.

“What happened?” Cian also gave me a worried look. “You were standing for a while then you just fainted.”

“I don’t _faint_.” I strengthened myself and dusted off my pants. Putting best effort on my poker face. “….it’s just, I wasn’t prepare that the veil would be so thin around here.”

“This was, _is_ a place of battles. It would make sense now that you mentioned it.” Alistair rubbed his chin in agreement.  

“The….veil?” Daveth asked with the same questioning look as Cian. 

“It’s hard to explain without going into Magical Theory…” Not with the time I had, nor the time to dig around Amell’s memories for another answer. So, I just summarized things from my perspective. “To put it simply, the veil is a barrier between this plain and the fade. It barred the spirits to cross over to this world. Any places that have histories of many deaths, a battlefield for example, made the veil thinner than usual.”

“So, what you are saying is that the veil is like a wall. And the wall is thin here?” Cian asked carefully. I didn’t miss the paler shade of blue that creeping up his face, or Daveth’s.

“Nothing to worry at the moment.” I tried to reassure him, and myself. “….it’s just that it’s harder to detect any residue lingering in a place that already filled to the brim with magic.” I listened to myself saying and hoped that was what happened. I didn’t need to tell them the spirits were pushing themselves against the barrier and reaching out to me in the process.

Alistair looked at me while I explained. I had no idea if he believed what I said and how much of the truth I left out, I didn’t know how far his chantry education had covered about the fade and spirits aside from being allegories that hammered Andrastian’s teaching of evil mages and demons. He didn’t seem to object my statement however, that was good enough for me.

“Well then. We just have to do this the old way.” He said and the five of us divided among ourselves the sections we each would search.

I knew the documents had not been here for sometimes, however I still did my best looking through broken trunks and boxes that clearly been eroded by time and elements. Waiting for the moment that Morrigan would mysteriously appeared.

It didn’t take long.

“Well, well. What have we here?”

Sir Jory let out a startle voice, Cian immediately drawn his daggers, Daveth gasped and Alistair didn’t even try to hide his surprise face. Their reactions were almost comical, as I observed quietly.

Morrigan seemed to have similar thought about them. Her yellow eyes glinted with amusement as she looked at us one by one. Her dark hair contrasted her pale complexion, she was even more beautiful in person even without her barely-there-robe. I could see why some fans would be obsessed with her. Her mystified voice carried through the wind like a siren song as she talked. “Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned.”

She walked down the slope as if gliding, reminding me of a poem written in the 1800’s. She kept her gaze on all of us. “Or merely an intruder, coming into darkspawns-filled Wilds of mine in search of easy prey?”

Her exotic eyes stopped at me. The amusement turned into something akin to curiosity. “What say you, hmm? Scavenger or intruder?”

“Neither.” To my surprise, Cian stepped up and shielded me from Morrigan’s view. “The Grey Wardens once owned this tower.”

She switched her attention to Cian. One dark eyebrow rose. “’Tis a tower no longer. The Wilds have clearly claimed this desecrated corpse.” She waved her hands in the air and continued with haughtiness in her voice. “I have watched your progress for sometimes. ‘Where do they go’, I wondered, ‘Why are they here’ And now you disturbed ashes none have touched for so long, _why_ is that?”

Maybe because I was standing in front of her in person, I just realized from the tone of her voice, she was truly curious about our group.

Alistair said his lines and Morrigan countered with hers. After Daveth blurted out about Witches of the Wilds, Sir Jory starting to turn purple. Morrigan scoffed at his words and turned her eyes back to me. “You there, Women do not frightened like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine.”

I swore I could hear a pin dropped. The entire forests seemed to stop making any sound all of the sudden. My companions seemed startled at the requests, I could see the displeasures on the men’s faces. Cian frowned deeper and glared at her. I knew that ultimately, Morrigan was harmless, kind of. And gaining her good side might be a good idea for the future if I survived the joining.

So, I put my hand on Cian’s arm and pushed him out from in front of me. He looked confused at my reaction but didn’t say anything.

After a few seconds of considering my responses, I decided to go with the most neutral one. “You can call me Kiara.”

She smiled. “And you may call me Morrigan, if you wish.”

A little bit of civility went a long way with Morrigan. She shared about her mother’s intervention of removing the said papers. Alistair threw in his insults which she deflected them like a well-practiced move. After offering to take our group to get the document from her mother, the five of us turned to discuss among ourselves.

“We needed the treaties. But her sudden appearance is too convenient.” Alistair said.

“Maybe we can take her hostage and…”  

“ _No_.” Cian, Daveth and me cut off Sir Jory’s suggestion with the same response.

“I just told you she’s witch and you want to take her hostage?!” Daveth whisper-shouted at the knight of Redcliffe.

“I agreed with Alistair, we need the papers. But I don’t like walking off into a sunset with a stranger especially in the Wilds.” Cian voiced his opinion.

“I think, we will be fine if we’re careful.” I inserted my own into the mix. Not surprise when they looked back at me with disapproval.

“She’s probably an apostate. Wouldn’t that make her more dangerous?” Cian stated.

“Not any more than me.” Cian didn’t look assuring at my words, he even made a face. I rolled my eyes and pointed at Alistair who had been listening our exchanges. “He’s a Templar--”

“How did you--” The blond warden looked startled but I ignored him.

“---I’m also a mage. Sir Jory has his big sword. You both are armed with weapons. And we are not helpless.” I pressed on. “If they decided to capture us and boil us for dinner, I’m sure Warden Alistair can throw a spell purge at them to give us time to fight.”

“As amusing as your statement sounds, I assure you we don’t have palate for boiled mules. I’ve heard they took too long to tender and tasted too bland.” Morrigan who clearly had heard every word we said, offered her mind.

I smiled with all my teeth. “There you go, gentlemen. You are as safe as houses.”

Stepping forward and away from the flabbergasted men, I said to Morrigan. “Please, Take me to your Leader!”

I didn’t expect her to understand the reference. But it seemed to entertain her enough to lead the five of us further into the marsh.

 

* * *

 

The small cottage came into view after almost an hour of journey through the swamps. I could see a frail looking old woman in brown clothes sitting on a log in front of the habitat, an old tome in her hand.

“Greetings, Mother.” Morrigan said as we came closer to the white hair woman and her hut. “I bring before you five grey wardens who--”

“Five?” The woman looked up from her book and cut her daughter off before Morrigan could finish what she’d wanted to say.

Her white hair was long and shaggy. Her cloth was coated in brown mud. Her pale face wrinkled but her yellow eyes were piercingly sharp. At the first glance, this old woman dressed in rags was in no way the witch of the legend. But was this only a façade to fool everyone to believe she was harmless?

Flemeth scrutinized each one of us just like her daughter had done earlier. Until her gaze fell on to me. I didn’t know if surprise was the right word for the expression I saw flickering in her eyes. Although the old witch laughed as if she had just heard the funniest joke.

I forced myself not to blanch. I was sure it was never a good idea when a vessel of Elven Goddess looked at you and laughed in your face. My companions seemed to think that the old crone was senile. Morrigan looked puzzled at this reaction as well.

It took a good five minutes before the old woman stopped herself from going into hysteria. With her eyes full of mirth, she said. “Well, well. Fate’s sure like to play tricks, isn’t she? Will you dance to her tunes? Your own? Or his? I wondered.”

Did I mention that Flemeth’s smile was most unsettling thing I’d encountered since I woke up in Thedas?

As unnerved as I was feeling. I kept my face to remain passive. Ignoring the look everyone was giving me.

Finally, Flemeth pulled out a roll of yellowish paper, she handed it to me. “Here, child. You all came here for these, yes? And before you begin barking, I have protected these. Your seals worn off long ago.”

“You…oh. You protected these?” Alistair didn’t sound like he believed it.

“And why not?...Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this blight’s threat is greater than they realized.”

I looked down at the papers and accepted it. A spark of magic ran through my fingertips when it touched my bare hand. Looking up to face the witch, I forced myself to say. “Thank you.”

Flemeth laughed again. “I wouldn’t thank me yet, child. Before the end comes, you might not be so grateful for this leap, hmm? Will you fly this time? Or those wings were truly broken?” She laughed at her private joke. Everyone, including me looked equally uncomfortable.

“Oh, don’t mind me. You have what you came for.” The old witch waved her hand dismissively at us before sending her daughter to see us off. Morrigan didn’t look happy to be our chaperon for our journey back to the camp but she didn’t complain out loud in front of her mother.

No one said anything during the trip. The tension rose again in silence. I barely caught what others’ expressions were, I was too engrossed with Flemeth’s words that kept playing in my head to notice.

 

* * *

 

By the time we arrived back, the twilight was almost upon us. Duncan had told Alistair to keep the treaties with him before ordered us to find dinner and meeting up for the joining afterward.

The mess area was almost deserted, the king’s soldiers were clearly getting ready to march for battle tonight.

The solemn atmosphere also brought back the tension. I didn’t know how I felt about that, it was too much of ‘The last meal’ to my comfort, but I shoveled the food in nonetheless. Cian had peculiar look on his face as he sat next to me and finished his own dinner. He had been quiet ever since we got back from the Wilds and had said nothing.

After we finished with the meal, I excused myself away from both Sir Jory and Daveth, Cian decided my company was better that the two men and tagged along with me to give the kennel master the flower I had picked up. He was delighted to be able to heal the hound and even shared the recipe with me when I asked. He hadn’t asked me to muzzle the said dog though, so we took off to the old temple that was supposed to be the meeting place.    

While we were making our way there, Cian finally said. “When Duncan came to our Castle looking for recruits, I almost volunteered to be one, you know.”

I did know of that possibility. I hadn’t played as a male Cousland but it wasn’t so different from the female one. I nodded and Cian continued.

“One of my closest friend was so excited that he was going to be recruited.” He said, his eyes lost in the distant memories. I had a nagging feeling that Cian’d just referring to Sir Gilmore.

Cian lifted a hand to rub his temple, a shaky movement that I easily caught. His green eyes were dried but the far-off look was still present.  

“He and I were trained together ever since we were babes. We gave each other’s first scars, we learned to ride at the same age. If anyone was honorable enough to join the Wardens it was him. I wondered….” His voice shook as if the words were too much for him. “…I wondered what he would say now that I was about to become a Grey Warden.”

Pain and guilt radiated from him like a shockwave. You didn’t need an empath to be able to catch it. It was plain as day. I had seen that look before, every time I looked at myself in a mirror.

My mind flashed.

_I was no longer in Ostagar, I was back at that dirty hellhole in body armors full of dirt, my M4 slung over my shoulder, there was gunfire everywhere. My left shoulder was hit but I ignored the pain and dragged Remy behind a cover. Blood coated my hands red. The more I applied pressure on the wound in his chest, the more it gushed out. It wasn’t supposed to do that!_

_“I’m sorry, Sergeant….” I heard him whispered through the hail of gunfire. “….I’m sorry….I couldn’t save…him.”_

_“Shut up, Remy! Save your strength. Medic!! I need a fucking medic, now!!” I screamed, I had no idea Doc would hear us or not, a bullet wheezed pass my head._

_“He said…..” Remy struggled to get the words out. “he said to tell you…..he’s sorry, he….he couldn’t keep….”_

_And then Remy no longer talked…_

_No! No! No!_

_And then the scene change. I was in my dress blue, my service shoes were too tight but I could feel nothing. A hand hit my left cheek, I didn’t remember if it stung. My whole body was numb._

_An older woman screamed at me. “He died because of you! He re-up because of you! Get out of my house!! Get out!!!”_

The scream echoed in my mind. I blinked when I heard Cian’s voice again.

“I don’t even know if he was dead or alive.”

Something inside me cracked. Before I knew what I was doing, my arms reached out and wrapped around him.

Cian, although startled, didn’t pull away, he slowly hugged me back. His hands shook as they rested on my back. There were no tears, only a silent grief, of pain and loss.

“Uh.…Sorry to interrupt….” Someone cleared throat from behind us. And we broke apart.

Alistair stood there with his face several shades redder than usual. He looked almost uncomfortable to be there. Even though there was nothing sexual from the gesture between us, I was sure doing it in the middle of Royal Encampment wasn’t the best place for such a thing. Cian’s face was surprisingly blank.

“I….uh…..” He gestured toward the old temple.

I knew what he was trying to tell us. So, I nodded. “We will be there in a minute, Warden.”

Alistair’d clearly wanted to get out of here, pivoted and marched away, leaving us to follow.

Silence shrouded over the both of us again. To be honest, I had thought it would be awkward but We briefly looked at each other then me and Cian continued our walk, turned out that It wasn’t.

“Thank you.”

I heard him say, I replied with a pat on his back.

Two moons of Thedas hung above our heads like an omen when we reached the old temple.

Sir Jory and Daveth were arguing once again. The contents were the same just like I had seen in my every playthroughs. Cian stood quietly next to me. Alistair kept looking at us then away then back again. When I caught him and our eyes met, his handsome face turned a few shades redder.

If this was some other time or some place else, maybe I might have let myself acted demure from his action. But it wasn’t.

I could be dead in the next few minutes, or Cian could.

So, I broke our eyes contact and pretended it didn’t affect me.

“At last we come to the joining.”

Duncan approached us, the silver chalice in his hand. Sir Jory looked nervously at it as Duncan set the cup on the broken altar and continued his speech. “The Grey Wardens were found during the First Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of Annihilation.”

He looked at us one by one. “So it was that the First Grey Warden drank of darkspawn blood and master their taint.”

Sir Jory sputtered his lines and Duncan replied with his. Somehow, their conversation tuned out from my mind. I could still see them moving their lips, saying their parts on the dialog but in my head, I heard someone else.   

And old memory that I could never forget.

_“Don’t do it just because you want to walk the same path as me, Kiara.” Jed said to me two days before the day I turned Eighteen. He sounded almost angry but I could never tell with Jed. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”_

_“What if I just want to serve and defend this country? Would that be so bad?” I said. To be honest, it was only half the truth._

_Jed sighed and looked away. “I can’t stop you, kid. But remember this, nothing is black and white. If you joined, there will be time with you walked in the grey. Just, make sure you can live with yourself afterward.”_

How ironic, I thought. Talked about becoming Grey.

What Jed said hadn’t stop me from joining the marines. But then, I was barely out of childhood.

_“You went in a naive girl, then you came back a killer.” Jed’s voice said in my mind. “Now, now you are just like me.”_

How little I knew of the world, I had wished to be useful, to have purpose, to serve my country, and I’d wanted to do it just like my adopted father had done. To make him proud. But what Jed had said was true. I had realized how naïve I was.

And now, in the world that not even my own, here I was about to become a Grey Warden. Another thankless job, another path that shrouded with grey.

Would I die? Or would I survive?

I looked at Cian, who was barely in his adulthood. Cian who had lost his entire family, Cian whose path would be filled with so much more loss and pain and blood if he’d survive. Cian, whose life was pushed on a board to play an unfair game, because someone had to do it. Someone had to be a hero and save this world from the retched Blight and had to live with the calling for the rest of his life.

Alistair’s voice rang in my ears. “Join us, brother and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry duty that cannot be foresworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you.”

His last word echoed and Duncan lifted the chalice.

Before he could start toward Daveth, I stepped in his path. “Please, let me be the first one.”

Duncan’s expression was a mix of surprise and sadness but it went away in a second. He nodded and raised the goblet toward me.

“From this moment forth, Kiara Amell, you are a Grey Warden.”

Magic zipped my finger when I accepted the cup. I looked down at the blood red swirling liquid contained inside.

Blood of darkspawn, Blood of an Archdemon, Lyrium and many other ingredients the circle of magi had help brewed. Did they not realize this was also another form of blood magic? Again, how ironic.

My eyes traveled back one last time to Cian who stood there with worry look on his face, I caught the same expression from Alistair.

Something settled in the back of my mind, all the nervousness, all the tension, gone.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted the cup to my mouth and said my final word. “ _Oorah**!_ ”

I had expected a salty copper flavor like when you cut inside your mount and taste your own blood, instead I was met with a foul and bitter taste, almost like vomit that I had to force myself not to gag. It wasn’t until I swallowed the blood down when the pain exploded through my body.

My eyes rolled back and world was no more.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N :: My, that was a long chapter. The longest I’ve written so far. I’m so happy that you guys like Kiara. <3 As for Cian, he might seem a bit immature in these first few chapters, but I promise that he will eventually grow and try to be better. I can’t explain their dynamic yet without spoiling anything. One thing I can say though, he’s not Kiara’s LI.  
> I still haven’t decided between 2 certain characters who she would end up with. One of them is rather obvious from this chapter. I will explore that after we all survive Ostagar. 
> 
> I am also active on Twitter (astachan14) and Tumblr (astachan). Tho the later mainly to reblog stuffs. Come say hi. ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for kudos and comments! Feel free to let me know what you think of the chapter!
> 
> Here are the meaning of some jargons I threw in this chapter.  
> *Charlie Foxtrot = CF or Clusterfuck.  
> **Oorah = a battle cry common in Us Marines Corps, can also be commonly used to respond to a verbal greeting or as an expression of motivation.  
> See you next chapter, Battle of Ostagar and the Tower of Ishal.


	5. Broken Aegis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Battle of Ostagar is here. So warning for Blood and violent.  
> There is a POV alternating in this chapter. But only Kiara’s will remain in First person POV, whoever else in the future will be written in Third person POV.

**Chapter 5 :: Broken Aegis.**

 

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”  
Was there a man dismayed?  
Not though the soldier knew  
Someone had blundered.  
Theirs not to make reply,  
Theirs not to reason why,  
Theirs but to do and die.  
Into the valley of Death  
Rode the six hundred.  
               - Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

* * *

 

**CIAN**

* * *

 

All around him were battle cries.

In the sea of his endless brethren, he lifted his weapon and joined the march.

The master bellowed from up high, then flew above them and commanded them with a thundering roar.

“ _Destroy!_ ” he said, a simple word but it was enough.

Armors clanked against the stone. Metals on metals. The footsteps created its own marching song.

The hordes were coming. And all shall be destroyed as the master commanded.

 

* * *

 

Cian came to with a raging pain shot through his head.

“……See? He lives, boy.” A voice said from somewhere far away. Cian wasn’t sure whose voice it was but it did sound familiar.

A dog barked in agreement and something wet slandered across his face.

“Ugh.” He protested. His own voice came out hoarse, his dried throat felt sored like he had been screaming no-stop for days. Maybe, he did?

When his eyes finally adjusted, Marble’s white and gray snout was the first thing that greeted him. The Mabari yipped and threw itself against his body. Ugh….maybe it was time to stop late night snacks for his war dog.

The second thing was Warden Alistair who crouched next to him. The Warden helped him sat up and handed him a small cup.

“More darkspawn blood?” Cian asked skeptically. Alistair laughed and shook his head.

“No, this is a regeneration potion. It will help you recover faster.”

Cian accepted the cup and looked down to see shimmering yellow liquid inside. Marble yipped again as if to tell him to bottoms up.

A cool taste touched his tongue as he chugged it down. Within minutes his throat no longer throbbed and his body no longer screamed for mercy. His mind seemed to be working again.

And then he remembered Daveth convulsed to dead, Sir Jory who took a blade in the gut because he decided to back out. And Kiara….

He looked around, but no longer see the evident left behind of the fallen. Daveth and Sir Jory’s bodies were gone, someone had clearly moved them. He knew that Kiara drank the blood and passed out afterward. Duncan had checked for pulse on her neck and assured the rest of us that she made it. That was why Daveth took a plunge and went next.  

“Two out of four, isn’t a bad turnout, though.” Alistair said as if knew what he was thinking. “She came to a while ago before you did. Duncan sent her to meet our Quartermaster for Grey Wardens issue armors and weapons.”

Of course, she did. The first thing the woman did after a near-death experience was getting more deadly weapons.

His legs were a bit shaky when he tried to stand, Alistair offered to help him up but he declined. If he was too weak to stand on his own, then he wasn’t worthy to be a Warden.

Marble barked again and nudged his side. He rubbed the neck of his mabari and said. “Then, I guess I should go see the Quartermaster as well.”

“Ah, no need. Duncan wanted you at the War council with the King as soon as you wake up. So, I brought you your stuffs. The Armors should fit. You can grab more weapons after the meeting, if you want.” Alistair told him and pointed toward the broken altar, there sat a set of blueish grey armors, silver chest guard, brown leather gloves and boots.

“Also, one more thing. It’s the last part of the joining.” Alistair set a small blood red next to his new armor. “We take some of that blood and put it in a pendant. Something to remind us…of those who didn’t make it this far. Every Grey Wardens carried one. We called it _Warden’s Oath_.”  

“Why does Duncan want me at the meeting, you know?” He asked as he started toward the new clothes.

“No clue.” Alistair shrugged. “But I think we will be marching soon. The scout had reported a large horde is heading toward us.”

That was not a good news. He was still reeling from his earlier skirmishes with those creatures. The first time when he had fought them on the way to Ostagar, he had not had time to think about them. But after the trip to the Wilds to obtain their blood, it made him looked back at the fight. It wasn’t the fight itself though, it was his companion that came into mind.

Kiara Amell. She was a circle mage. A mage who wielded a sword like she was trained by a warrior. A mage who supposedly never set foot outside her Tower before. But she cut down the darkspawns like they were weeds in her yard. And while a bigger warrior than her was unnerved about the kills, she acted like it was just another chore in boring life. She looked younger than even him, and he just turned Twenty but the way she carried herself was much older than someone who had just entered adulthood.

To be honest, he was relieved that Kiara didn’t die. Whoever she was before, it was no longer mattered. And somehow when she was there with him, he wasn’t feeling as much like a failure as he was when he left Highever. He couldn’t save his parents or his nephew, his home was almost destroyed by that Howe bastard and his brother was nowhere to be found in the wilds. No to mention his friend--Rory….

Marble yipped at him as if he sensed his master’s unease, so he shook himself off and continued changing into his new armor. Meanwhile Alistair was having conversation with his mabari.

“Just how smart are mabari supposed to be, anyway? Do you think they understand everything we say?” Cian heard the blond warden say.

Marble replied with a bark and Alistair crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, is that so? You could just be listening to the tone of my voice. You could be an utter moron, for all we know.”        

His dog growled back so the man lifted both his hands up. “Hey, now. There's nothing saying that a moron can't be cute and adorable. Who's the cute and adorable puppy?”

Marble barked happily before rolling on the ground, his belly up for Alistair to scratch which warden complied. “Ah, Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? That's what the Chantry kept telling me, anyhow.”

“You don’t say.” Cian muttered as he strapped the lashes on his chest guard.

 

* * *

 

Cian left his mabari with Alistair. Not sure if it was a wise decision but better than having his dog charged and chewed off Teyrn of Gwaren’s face in a war council. Marble seemed to take inexplicable dislike toward the man. 

He could feel frustration rolled off Duncan when the Teyrn dismissed the idea of waiting for Orlesian reinforcements. Kiara’s words from their journey about how he felt Orlesian Wardens came back to him. And he realized how true it was. A smarter man would rather have more troops as back up even if he didn’t need it. It was unnerving how easy the Teyrn had shot down the idea.

He listened quietly while the King and the Teyrn discussing the coming battle strategies. It was obvious how Loghain’s disapproval of Cailan’s recklessness in marching out front with only the Wardens as his Vanguards. Not that the King had noticed. Duncan replied the King’s inquiries about the Warden’s readiness when asked.

The old man had a blank expression on his face, it was hard to tell if he was nervous or not. Kiara had the same look on her face most of the time, though it slipped sideway a couple of time when Alistair unsubtly giving her attention. It was almost comical to watch.

Cian wondered where did she went off to.

“…This is the Tower of Ishal in the ruins, yes? Who shall light this beacon?” Cailan asked.

The Teyrn replied. “I have a few men stationed there. It is not a dangerous task, but it _is_ vital.”

“Then we should send our best…” The King looked up from his map and turned toward him and Duncan. “Send Alistair, Warden Cousland and the other new mage Warden…what was her name?”

“Warden Amell, your majesty.” Duncan said.

“Yes, her.”

“She’s barely out of her apprenticeship, your majesty. We have other senior enchanters here who are more capable.” An older mage spoke up from beside the King. “The Tower and the beacon are also unnecessary. The Circle of Magi--”

“We will not trust any lives to your spell, mage. Save them for the darkspawns.” The revered Mother cut him off.

Cian almost made a face at her comment. It was obvious how much mistrust the chantry had for the Circle, yet they were quick to throw the mages at the danger when it suited them. And why the Mother was even here to begin with? It made no sense from a tactical stand point, the political one though, was another story.

“Despite her age, she is a Grey Warden now, Senior Enchanter Uldred. You will remember that and treat her as such.” Cailan said with annoyance. “You as well, your reverence.” He said without looking at the old priestess. “With all due respect, but the mages are here to help us. Remember that when one of them might end up saving your life.”

The Mother clearly wanted to say her mind. But Teyrn Loghain cut them all off. “This plan will suffice. The Grey Wardens will light the beacon. Although I have to say, you are relying on these Grey Wardens too much, is it truly wise?”

“Enough with your conspiracy theories, Loghain. Grey Wardens battle the Blight, no matter where they’re from.”

“Your, majesty. You should consider the possibility of the Archdemon appearing.” Duncan said.

But Loghain interjected immediately. “There has been no sign of any dragons in the Wilds.”

“Isn’t that why your men are here for, Duncan?”

The Warden Commander looked resigned but he answered. “I….Yes, your majesty.”

The meeting concluded, it was clear the only one happy with the outcome was King Cailan who couldn’t wait to ride into battle with The Famous Grey Wardens.

But even one of the said Warden himself didn’t look satisfied with the battle plans.

“Go find the girl and meet with me at the bonfire.” Duncan instructed him and left to have a few last words with the King. Cian decided not to question whatever it was Duncan was planning. He had his orders. Find Kiara, meet with Duncan then off to get ready for the Tower.

It took him longer than he expected to find the blond woman. He had looked everywhere for her, their sleeping tent, in the mess area, even the infirmary. In the end, it was on the far side battlement he saw her stood there by herself.

Already cladded in her new mage warden armor, the light from the lanterns nearby glinted of the Silverite Griffin pauldron. Her blond hair was braided in away from her face, with the rest of her ashen gold locks blowing over her shoulder from the wind. Her shimmering blue blade was strapped on her back in a borrowed scabbard, he also noticed a book in her hand. Kiara stood with her back to him, clearly looking down below where the troops were mobilizing.

He was about to call out to her when he noticed a shimmering blue light starting to appear around Kiara.

After a few seconds the light enveloping around her forming a transparent dome. Cian heard her chanted some unrecognized words that he believed to be some kind of spell. The dome shimmered brighter and started to expand. But less than a minute it shivered and vaporized with a loud pop. 

Kiara recoiled as if she was hit from an unseen impact. She cursed, clearly frustrated. “Mother fuc--!!!”

The battle horn rang, cutting off his thought as well as whatever Kiara’s profanity she was about to unleash, signaling both of us that the time was almost up.

Kiara turned toward him, her pretty face voided of expression, the frustration he had heard gone like she had slid on a different mask. “The war council is finished?”

“Yes, Duncan needs us back at the bonfire.” He said.

She asked again. “They are sending you to the Tower?”

“They are sending _us_. You, me and Alistair, and I guess my mabari, too.”

Something flickered across her face that made her smiled, somehow it shouldn’t unsettle him but it did. “Hmm. I bet the Teyrn wasn’t very happy.”

“He wasn’t.” Neither was that Mage, nor the Revered Mother. “But the King decreed that we would be the one to do it.”

“No doubt.” She said in a dismissive way, almost like she had expected it. Kiara stepped away from where she stood and started toward the bonfire’s direction.

“Let’s us go then. No time to waste.”

Cian couldn’t agree more.

* * *

 

 

**KIARA**

* * *

 

I hadn’t heard Cian’s approaching when he did.

I was so engrossed in trying out the glyph I had acquired and forgot where I was for a moment.

After I woke up from hearing the Archdemon’s screaming in my head, I was both glad and surprise to be alive. Duncan had given me the _Warden’s Oath_ and then informed me that Cian also made it but still passing out. At first, I didn’t know what to do about this information.

I guessed I should be happy, there would be three Wardens instead of two. Not that one more body would make much different. We still had to raise an army to battle to darkspawn as well as stop Ferelden to destroyed itself from the Civil war.

I sighed. There would be so much works waiting for us. But first thing first. The Tower of Ishal awaited.

When I found ability to walk again, I went and acquired my brand new set of warden-issued armor to change into just as Duncan had instructed, I also picked up a few set of throwing knives. The Quartermaster didn’t have any staff for me but he had suggested going and asked the Circle of Magi about it. I went and got declined with threatening glares from several mages there. I didn’t know what their problem was and I also didn’t have time for it. I was okay with just my sword and new knives.

Afterward, I seek out Warden Mage—Tarimel, whom I met yesterday and asked him about a few spells I had planned to use but couldn’t find anything from Amell’s memories. The elven mage had congratulated me at first but was surprised at my request, nonetheless he brought me to the tent he had shared with other wardens and dug into his backpack. After a minute, he pulled out something.

“I found this tome when I visited the White Spire in Val Royeaux.” he handed me a book with yellow-ish white cover. I accepted it and saw the title read ‘ _Glyphs, Runes and Enchantments; An advance arts by Magister Barnabas Carnassa_ ’ I frown after seeing it. Tarimel crossed arms over his chest. “What you asked me for, are very complicated spells, they would take years just to learn how to weave it correctly. But if you decided to go with glyphs or runes it will take half the time to learn. This tome has the most extensive collections. I’m sure you can find the combination you want.”

Tarimel had also explained that most of the glyphs and runes here were quite advance for School of Creation, some of them took hours and preparation to draw so he told me to keep the book.

“I finished it a while ago. And I rarely use any of them for healing anyway.” He told me with a smile, he left when Warden Gregor called out for him. So, I said my gratitude and walked away quickly.  

I had to get away because my expressionless mask was starting to crack a little.

The more I saw these Grey Wardens, the more helpless I felt. I had been wrecking my brain trying to prevent this pointless massacre. But all the scenario I ran through my head always ended up the same. I realized that one person couldn’t possibly change this outcome unless that person was Teyrn Loghain himself, whom was unlikely to change his twisted idea that Cailan was bringing doom upon Ferelden by trying to ally with the Orlesians.

The deep hatred and paranoid were born because of War. I understood that he had endured many years under foreign occupation, he had lost friends, family, his own wife and some parts of himself to it. And now he was about to left a son of his sworn brother died, all because he had believed Cailan was a traitor to his own kingdom. His action would be justified. He wouldn’t think himself prejudice but instead patriotic.

And by doing that, The Grey Wardens of Ferelden would fall.

How could you change someone whose heart and mind was so blind because of his past?

In game, he realized that all the things he had done in the end was for naught, because the true treat was the Blight but he hadn’t regret it. In his mind, he was saving his country. Nothing I did and said right now would have change his decision.

So what good am I to be alive here then? Cian and Alistair would have been enough to do the job.

But none of that was matter at the moment. The more I grieved for the coming loss the less effective I would be.

Maybe there were things that was too big for me to change, and then there were things that I would be able to. For now, I had no evident to prove my theory. Presently, I needed to prepare for all four of us to survive Tower of Ishal. I knew Flemeth would rescue us but fighting an Ogre as well as holding off until she came wouldn’t be an easy task.

I could have survived the joining but fell because of this battle. that was why I went to Tarimel for advices. I didn’t know if they would work but at least they will be something I could fall back on until a dragon came to save our asses.

From a rough scan of the contents in the books, I found several glyphs that would be useful in upcoming task. I memorized them and practiced holding the easier ones and failed miserably. It might be because I didn’t reinforce it with enough mana? Or some was it simply because Amell’s affinity in School of Creation wasn’t good enough. 

That was when Cian found me, irritated and was about to pull my hair out, I barely had the time to put a poker face on before turning to face him. I could tell from his expression that he’d wanted to ask about it but something had held him back from doing so.

I was somewhat grateful.

 

* * *

 

“You heard the plan. You three will go to the Tower of Ishal and ensure that the beacon is lit.” Duncan said as he looked down at several daggers from a wooden table near the fire. If I had to guess, they probably came from his personal collection. I noticed that all of them were oiled and polished and I bet they would have been sharpened already as well.

The bonfire crackled and shone brighter than normal, in result it had casted a darker shadow on the man’s face. He looked even more exhausted than before.

“What? I won’t be in the battle?” Alistair said his line, looking a little flustered. It was obvious He had been sidelined by Duncan before. Which made sense, considering the fact that the man knew the truth about Alistair’s birth.

“This is by the King’s personal request, Alistair.” Duncan picked up an orange-hued, double edged dagger up to inspect before slid it into his belt sheath. “If the beacon is not lit, Teyrn Loghain’s men won’t know when to charge.”

“So he needs three Grey Wardens standing up there holding the torch. Just in case, right?” Alistair crossed his arms.

“I agree with Alistair, we should be in the battle.” Cian voiced his opinion. Funny that how I usually answered too. 

“That is not your choice. If the King wishes the Grey Wardens to ensure the beacon is lit, then the Grey Wardens will be there.” Duncan shook his head as he slid another dagger into his belt, this time was a rondel look alike with round grip. He finally turned to look at the three of us. “We must do whatever it takes to destroy the darkspawns…. exciting or no.”

Yes, Including sacrificed their owns, used blood magic and raised Demons army. I remembered that quite well. The thought made me want to grab Warden Commander Clarel and shook some senses into the woman. In fact, I would do just that, if I survive that long.

“I get it, I get it. Just so you know, if the King ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I’m drawing the line. Darkspawns or no.”

Before I stopped my mouth, the replied had already left me. “I’d pay to see that.”

Alistair laughed. “Hah! For you, Maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress.”

Cian snickered as I felt like punching my own mouth. Duncan did the famous _Bioware forehead rubbing animation_ and I almost wanting to just convulse and died like Daveth so I didn’t have to stood there anymore.

Duncan gave us a copy of a map for the tower and instructions about how to proceed just as I remembered. Cian asked him a few questions about timing and the Archdemon.

My ears starting to tune out again, my nerves had been flaying ever since I had woken up. I had thought that if I had survived the joining the level of my anxiety would at least went down, instead it almost like someone double it up. In a time like this, I almost wish the earbuds came with my iPhone, so I could let music steadied my mind like I had done before in the past. Since I couldn’t do that without people around me screaming blood magic at my phone, I just started tapping my foot and humming _Under Pressure_ under my breath. By the time the Chorus kicked in I felt an elbow jabbed my side.

“Oi….” Cian called out to me, David Bowie and Queens dissipated from my brain. I realized both Duncan and Alistair, and even Marble were giving me a weird look.

“What?” I tried to shrug off their reaction. “Sorry, I was trying to remember the spells I’ll need.”

“Duncan’s been asking you about your weapons.” Cian said.

Huh? That wasn’t also in the scripts. I looked at Duncan, “What about them?”

“I see that you still don’t have a staff. I was asking if our Quartermaster doesn’t’ have any with him.”

“He said that he didn’t expect any mage recruit or that they would need one. He told me to go ask the Circle of Magi for any purchasable one.”

“And did you?”

“Yes.” And they almost threw their Templars at me. I wondered if they had heard about my involvement in Jowan’s escape, I wouldn’t be surprise if they did. “But they said that they do not have any new Staffs for sale. They only have repair kits and rune enchantments which are pretty much useless without an actual staff.”

Duncan frowned and rubbed his chin. “Are you going to be alright without one?”

“Yes.” Actually, I had no idea. From Amell’s memories, having a staff while casting spells help with a mage’s focus. Mages could still cast without one, though. So in my case, I would have to use _Starfang_ and a few new daggers I acquired until I had to cast the warding glyphs. 

“Very well,” Duncan seemed to accept my reassurance. Before slid a curve sword that look similar to military saber into his back sheath. “Then I must join the others. From here you three are on your own,” Marble barked interruptingly as if to remind Duncan he wasn’t just a chopped liver. The man chuckled and revised his words. “Yes, you three and a War dog are on your own. Remember, you are all Grey Wardens, I expect you to be worthy of that title.”

“Duncan…..” Alistair called out before Duncan departed. I could see worried look on his face. “May the Maker watch over you.”

Duncan smiled for the last time.

“May He watch over us all.”   

 

* * *

 We set out toward the front gate without delay. My sundial pendent had been growing hot next to Warden’s Oath ever since Duncan left. I wasn’t surprised by this, because I knew a difficult battle was waiting for us on the other side.

The battle horn rang again as we were crossing the gorge but with this time the tune was different, it was for signaling the start of the battle. War cries and sound of metal crashing one another came from below, in my mind the cutscene replayed itself. We were about to reach the end of the bridge when some nearby soldiers screamed, I turned to the right side just in time to see a large fireball came flying.

Before I could think I grabbed both Alistair’s and Cian’s collars(both who were walking in front of me) and pulled them back hard. Just in time before the fire came crashing into the side of the bridge, destroying one of the trebuchet and sending fiery splinters everywhere. The soldiers’ screams and the smell of burning flesh followed.

“Maker’s Balls!!” I heard Alistair cursed as we scrambled back to our feet, Marble barked and darted forward ahead of us. I knew why he did that, another giant ball of fire was flying straight to where we were at.

“Get to the end of the bridge! Go! Now!” I shouted and this time, pushed both of them forward but what propelling all three of us wasn’t just me.

The burning projectile crashed right at our heels, you could say that we missed being burn alive by a hair. No…actually I could smell the end of my singed hair. The force of the explosion slapped us forward. I landed on top of Alistair like something from a frigging romance novel, well technically my elbow also hit him in the face. Any yelp of pain was lost to me when an arrow flew pass my face, missing a tip of my nose by less than an inch.

I rolled off the hard body and threw one of newly acquired knife to the direction the arrow came from. The point end hit the mark right in an eye socket of a genlock. Marble charged and finished the job for me.

“Darkspawn!” Alistair yelled out the obvious and held up his shield and sword. Cian, already with Cousland sword in one hand and a dagger in the other twirled away from a large battle axe before swung his family sword in reverse stabbing the Hurlock in the gut.

I rushed forward to my first genlock and quickly retrieved my throwing knife. I still have several, but I don’t want to wasted good steels for nothing. Blood gushed from the genlock’s eyes when the blade was pulled free, there was not even time for me to clean the rotten blood off the knife when hail of arrows flew straight at me.

I rolled away in time before four arrows pieced the genlock corpse that was crouching over a second ago. My eyes caught the group of archers perching over on the raised wooden pallet, already with new arrows about to notch. I pulled at my magic and threw my own fireball at the group.

The ball of fire flew and crashed into the middle of their line, all of them caught fire. I decided that I had no time to maul over their unintelligent screeches or gagging myself because of their burning flesh, I pulled out _Starfang_ and rushed my next target.

We kept pushing forward closer to the tower entrance. From the soldier corpses that littered the path and the amount of the darkspawns we had encountered so far, it was obvious that The Tower had been overran almost at the beginning of the battle, maybe even before. But why did no one send words? Were all the runners were killed? So far I didn’t spot any of them among the dead bodies. This was more troubling than I thought.

When all the enemies fell in the court yard, we pushed forward through the door. Then I remembered the trap in the hall and caught both Alistair and Cian by the arms before they could charge forward.

“Wait!” I grabbed both of them. “Cian, do you know how to disarm traps?”

“I’m a rouge, aren’t I?” He said, almost offended.

Well, you never knew. Zevran always boasting about his lock picking prowess and he never had enough sufficient skill to succeed.

I explained to the group that Cian should stealthily scouted ahead for traps, because it would have made sense if the tower was already been taken over, they would want to fortified the entrance. Both Alistair and Cian didn’t look agreeable, Marble on the other hand sat on his hunch and waited like a good dog that he was.

I ignored Cian’s grumbled about his war dog being a traitor as he went poof in a puff of smoke, clearly to do as I asked. I took this opportunity to pulled out a cleaning cloth and wiped both _Starfang_ and my throwing knife, as well as check for damage. 

A few minutes passed, Cian reappeared with a biggest grin on his face. “You were right. They set a trap for us.”

“I take it that you disarmed it?” Alistair asked, clearly confused.

“Wait for it.” He said. And a second later, a loud boom erupted from the large hall way, screams and screeches followed by, then more burnt flesh smell came. Cian looked almost sheepish as he continued. “I decided to fix some strings in the trap and instead of exploding outward, I reversed it instead.”

I was impressed with this Cousland. I had no idea he had skill like that.

When I was discharged from The Marines and started my career as a solo, my then trainer had taught me a basic skill in making IED. Since it wasn’t my specialty I only had surface knowledge. How I wished I paid more attention to the lesson.

“Great job.” I said and patted him on the shoulder. After a peak at the burning darkspawns inside I concluded. “So, I was right. This Tower was overrun even before the battle began. Any of the Teyrn’s soldiers that stationed here would have been killed already when it happened. But if that happened before the March, why didn’t we get word about it from the Runner?”

“I don’t see any of their bodies outside either. They were all humans and they were all older than us.” Cian added. Hmm, that meant the runners were usually an elf or a young human.

“Maker’s breath! What are these darkspawn doing ahead of the rest of the horde? There weren’t supposed to be any resistant here.” Alistair said.

“Weren’t you complaining that you didn’t get to fight?” Cian snorted at my comment.

“Hey! You’re right.” Alistair snapped his finger then looked a little bit sober. “At any rate, our objective hasn’t changed. We still need to get to the highest floor and lit the beacon when the signal was fired.”

We were all agreed. So when the last scream faded away, I stepped inside the hall and casted ice spell to clear out the burning floor and debris. Several charred corpses cluttered on the floor and it made me rethink about using anymore fire spells on the enemies, their deaths were almost too messy. I would have preferred to cut my foes down fast instead of having them screaming afterward from being burnt alive.

The four of us cut a bloody path upward, floor by floor. Alistair led the charge and took most of the damage, I had tried to send out some healing spell to help instead the spark almost shocked him to oblivion. So the rest of us agreed that we would be relied on the injury kits instead of me, for the sake of survival.    

The numbers of the darkspawn here were not much of a challenge if we didn’t rush blindly forward without watching our flanks. After we cleared the large group on second floor, I decided to start conserving as much of my mana as possible and in result Starfang’s blade were soaked with blood and pieces of organs when I pulled free from the bodies. By the time we finished the last group on the Third floor, I was running out of clean cloth to clean my blades.

“You know, I realized that there is something missing when we traveled up here.” Cian said as he slid his cleaned sword back to its sheath and gave Marble some more Mabari crunches. “Aside, from the bodies outside, I haven’t seen any human remains inside this Tower yet.”

Alistair looked puzzled for a moment. “Now that you mentioned it….me neither. I saw the blood splatters on every rooms we passed so there were battles for sure….”

I had noticed that too. But I kept quiet about it. I didn’t want to correct Alistair that what happened here was not just a mere battle but a massacre. The numbers of the darkspawn here could easily the few number of the Teyrn’s men. As for the bodies, if my suspicious was right, it would be answered in a few minutes.

I was about to warn them not to let their guard down, Alistair took it upon himself to kick the door opened. Woods splintered everywhere as Cian and Marble charged after him but all abruptly came to a stop when the sound of something crunching.

The ogre snapped his head around from the sound of the door breaking, he was mid-chewing a human arm. Behind him were piles of human bones and bloodied body parts. The creature looked at us one by one and he opened his mouth and roared, spitting blood and saliva.

“Move your ass!” I shouted a second before the ogre charged. All four of us darted out of the way just in time when he ran into the broken door. I felt the room shook.

I casted a simple barrier on Alistair and Marble as they rushed back toward the ogre, the creature roared again and turned his attention to both Alistair and the mabari whom taking turn taunting him.

“I will take the right!” Cian yelled and darted forward with his sword drawn. He slashed the ogre right leg, going for the hamstring. The enemy shrieked and swung his huge arm toward Cian, whom dodged away with a puff of smoke.

I took it as my cue to rushed the creature. I swung _Starfang_ at his left leg, the adrenaline probably pumping too much in me because instead of slash and dodge, my blade cut too deep to the bone and got stuck.

“Motherfuck--” I didn’t get to finish when a large fist slammed into my side, my body skittered away from the impact. Pain bloomed and I wondered if my rips were broken.

Alistair shouted again to get the ogre attention. I tried to move away from the range but pain prove a bit too much.

“Keep…. Keep going!” I gritted the word out when Cian was about to get to me. He didn’t look happy but kept swinging at the ogre.

Even taking a breath hurt. I needed to patch myself and got back in the fight before the ogre came for me again.

Since I couldn’t trust myself to heal for shit, I need to numb the pain before anything else. My teeth chattered as I tried to lift my uninjured arm over to where I was hit, looking down I didn’t see any blood but that could mean I was bleeding internally. My hand shook from the pain as I casted an ice spell on myself. The cold slowly spread through my armor then my skin, then freezing sensation began to numb the area. I had to stopped before I freeze my organs to dead. It wasn’t a cure. The pain didn’t disappear but it was time enough for me to dug into my belt pouch for a healing potion.

The green liquid spilled out from the side of my mouth as I chugged it down and threw the empty vial away. The medicine wouldn’t work right away but at least my breathing wasn’t labored anymore, whatever injuries inflicted on me would gradually heal…I hoped.

“Oi!” Cian called out and threw my sword he had managed to pull out from the ogre’s leg at me. I caught the hilt with my left hand. I wasn’t a lefty but I had had weapons training with left hand before, the control wouldn’t as good but it would do. This ogre needed to die as soon as possible before me or anybody got hit again.

With my right side pretty much out of commission, I yelled. “Cian! Switch!”

He understood my meaning and slid across the floor and slashed the left legs. I maneuvered the same move on the other side.

Blood gushed out, the ogre roared again but his body wobbled and he dropped on to his knees. Alistair took this opportunity to ram his shield to the side of the head, stunning the creature long enough for me to slice across the jugular from behind. Red liquid sprayed like crimson shower, the ogre gargled and toppled on to the floor.

“Fuck!” I cursed as the pain lanced me from my right side, dropping me as well. _Starfang_ hit the ground with a clank as I tried to regulate my breathing. My left hand shook as I fumbled with my pouch for another healing potion.

“Here, let me help.” Cian rushed to me and handed me his own potion. I swallowed it through the pain. And dropped on my back, waiting for the medicine to work.

Cian looked down at me. “I don’t see any blood…” He scrutinized my right side. “Do you need injury kit?”

I lifted my left hand telling him no. The pain started to lessen after a few minutes, I was able to sit up without wheezing. Marble yipped and licked my hand.

“I’m alright.” I reassured both the dog and his owner as I tried to get up. My legs shook a bit but I hid it pretty well. I quickly cleaned Starfang and slid it back into its sheath.

“We can see the battle from up here.” Alistair said from the window by the beacon. His face troubled. “I don’t see the signal, did we miss it?”

“We didn’t linger, surely it’s not the time yet.” Cian took a peak as well. “Shit. It doesn’t look good down there. All I see is the hounds and the Grey Wardens charging into the horde. Where are the king’s soldiers?”

“They are also waiting for the signal. The King rides with the Grey Wardens and handful of his personal guards, from what I heard.”

“Still, this is a risky plan—oi! What are you doing?” Cian stopped the conversation when he saw me digging inside the barrel.

“Getting ready for more.” My hand found a buckler shield, a bow and a quiver half-filled with arrows. I pulled them out and laid them all out in front of the beacon.

“More? More of what?” Cian asked when I order his mabari to stay by his master’s side.

“Whatever coming through that door.” My pendant had been glowing since the beginning of the quest, now even brighter than before. We didn’t time to linger anymore.

I pointed at the spot on the floor. “Cian stand here. take the bow and arrows. And don’t move.” I turned and barked at Alistair. “Alistair, you will be the one lighting the beacon. As soon as you do that take out your shield and defended the position. Don’t taunt the enemies, just shield Cian when he uses the bow.”

“Excuse me?” Alistair gave me confused look, I kind of understood why he would look like that but I didn’t have the luxury of explaining everything right now.

“The darkspawn took this tower for a reason, do you think they wouldn’t try to take it back?” I said. “As soon as that beacon is lit, they’re going to storm the tower. I’m going to try and cast a magic ward, it will take most physical damage but we won’t be able to move. I won’t be able to move or fight because I have to hold the ward. Since Cian is the only one could do range damage. Both you and the dog will have to find a way to shield yourself, since my ward won’t take all of the damage.”

“Why does your face looking like there’s a _but_ coming?” Cian said suspiciously.

I sighed. “A warding glyph is not my specialty and it will take a lot of my mana to maintain. The more damage it takes the less effective it becomes.”

“But---”

“There! The smoke signal!” Alistair shouted as he looked out the window.

“Get moving, boys! We will talk later.” If we all survived this shitstorm.

Cian didn’t look convinced but he picked up the bow and quiver anyway. Marble barked and pressed himself between me and Cian. Alistair also gave me a look but went and lit the beacon before took a position in front of all of us with his shield up.

With our back to the lit beacon, I started drawing the complicated glyph in the air with my hands, my right side emitting a dulled pain reminding me of my injuries. I had to use my imagination to see where each line would connected.

I was halfway done when we heard a boom from downstairs, the floor shook. I gritted my teeth as I continued to finish the complicated glyph.

Another explosion rocked the tower again and then another. The sound becoming louder and louder.

“You done?” Cian asked, his voice full of alarmed.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t waste time for that as I connect the last line. I lifted both my hands in the air and started pulling at the fade.

Blue shimmering light started to appear from over our heads. I pulled the energy down harder, the light grew denser and started to grow until transparent dome starting to form in a shape of a dome. My Ward finally snapped into place.

My hands shook as the weight of the fade began to press down along with the magic I had pulled. Sweats broke along my hairline.

Another boom rocked the tower and the large number of the darkspawn spilling into the room.

Cian let loose his first arrow, it hit one of the enemies. “I don’t think I have enough arrow to kill all of them!”

Enemies’ Archers also let their arrows fly. They wheezed through the air and smacked into the transparent shield I had made. The Ward trembled around us, I took a deep breath and push more mana to reinforced it.

Marble growled but still stayed at his position between me and his master. Bow string twang and another foe fell. Cian didn’t stop, he already nocked another arrow before letting it fly.

More arrows hit the ward. I held on to it. We just had to make it until Flemeth came.

At least their melee fighter hadn’t—

Suddenly the darksapwn parted the group, letting one of its tall, skinny with long nails and pointy ears floated forward. He didn’t carried any weapon, because he didn’t need to. A ball of fire was conjured between his hands.

I cursed. Fucking Emissary!

“Goddamit!! Hold!!” I shouted as the Emissary hurled the fireball at us. It crashed against the shield, my ward shook from the impact and I pushed more mana into it. The flame licking at the dome, even though it didn’t dissipate my ward but the size shrunk as a result. 

“What is that _thing_?!” Cian cried out in terror.

“A darkspawn mage!” Alistair’s face almost lost its color, he turned to me. “I can--”

“No! you smite that thing within my ward and we are all going down.” I knew what he had wanted to do. But I couldn’t let him do that.

“But I can get outside the seal and--”

“No! You move out and this ward will be disrupted! Stay there and defend Cian! _I can hold it_.”

Another fireball hit my ward and my ears popped. The ward shuddered. 

Fact was, I was running out of mana. Worse, the weight of magic around me was becoming too heavy. The pain in my side starting to hurt again. My legs starting to shake as well.

“I’m out of arrow!” Cian shouted and took up the buckler I had set on the floor into a defensive position.

“We need move!” Alistair yelled.

“We hold!” I gritted my teeth. My hand shook violently as another fireball came crashing into us.

“But--”

“No! We Hold!” Something wet dripping from my nose.

“Your nose is bleeding! We need a new plan!” someone screamed but I wasn’t sure who it was, my vision starting to blur but I kept holding my ward.

“We hold ‘til the dragon comes!” I heard myself shouted back.

“She’s delirious! We have to do something!”

“ **Hold!!!** ” I screamed and pushed the final reserve of my mana into my ward.

My ward shuddered for the last time and died.

Something detonated in my chest, the feeling of vertigo hit me after my ward vanished. My legs gave out and I hit the floor. Someone cursed. I could hear a mabari barked furiously.

A roar shook the whole tower from above and the wall exploded. I couldn’t move with the pain bombarding my body. I was on my back when I fell, so I could see a large maroon dragon swooping down, opened its mouth and let out the flame, roasting all the darkspawn in its path.

I felt myself smile before the darkness dragged me down to its abyss.

 

* * *

 

 **A/N ::** My, my. This was a hard chapter to write, I actually had to rewrite some parts of this chapter twice. As much as hard work as it was for me to finish this one, I really enjoy writing it. I hope you do too! 

Next chapter, Waking up in Vegas—I mean Flemeth’s Hut.    


	6. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up at Flemeth’s Hut. The Wardens set out on their way to Lothering as well as trying to come to terms with the Aftermath of the battle.

**Chapter 6 :: Aftermath**

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.  
                              - Edgar Allen Poe.

 

* * *

 

I was standing in the middle the old practiced gym. Several dummies lined the wall behind me. It seemed I had foregone them in favor of imagining foes. I looked down at my bare feet, odd. I usually had snickers on for this.    

Sia’s _The Greatest_ blasted in the air as I flexed practice swords in my hands. Right one in the front, left one in the back. As the beats and her voice droning on in the start of the song, my arms started twirling both swords in 8 shaped movement.

When the song started to pick up, my feet moved forward. In my mind, my opponent moved back away from my cut. The movement was supposed to confuse them, neck, stomach, neck, stomach…. which one would they block first? If they were too slow I would get some nasty cut in as well as guarded my own back. In Theory, it was a good tactic when if I was surrounded, I had no idea this move would work in real life or not. I was inspired by Geralt’s swordplay from The Witcher 3, there were some swordplay instructors online had argued that many of his moves were nothing but a dance. 

“What did I say about practicing these useless moves?” A familiar voice came and someone cut the music off. I spun around to face the newcomer. A tall man in his late fifty, his gray hair was buzzcut short just like he had been wearing it all his life, his sharp grey eyes looked at you like a hawk.  

“Jed?”

No. it couldn’t be. Because…. because Jed was dead.

“Was I?” Whoever it was that wearing Jed’s face replied as if he had heard my thought. The man crossed his arms the same way I had remembered. He stood just like Jed. Still, I backed up, wishing these practice swords were the real ones.

In a blink, my swords shivered and the plastic blades morphed into steel. I looked down at them in shock. What the hell?!

Then I finally looked around me, the gym where I had always practiced swordplay had evaporated. Instead, both me and Jed-wearing-thing stood on a floating isle. The ground was wet under my bare feet. Some spiky and twisted black plants sprouted from the floor. The green hued light around me started to ring the bell in my head.

Right, by some unknow force or I was just hallucinating, I end up in Ferelden. My joining was successful and I was somehow a Grey warden now.

Was I in the Fade? I had fallen sleep more than once since I came to Thedas. But hadn’t gone into the fade yet. No wonder, I didn’t realized it from the beginning.

Then…. this person could have been a demon—no a spirit wearing his face.

I looked back at the man who had raised me like his own flesh and blood, lifting my right sword and pointed at him. “Why are you wearing his face, _spirit_?”

Spirit-Jed didn’t smile but his voice sound almost amused. “Because he always gives you purposes.”

“He did. Not anymore.” I forced myself to say. The old wound that I thought had healed was ripping at the seam again.

“Has he? Or you simply stopped listening?” He said again.

“Why are we here?” As in why was I in the fade? Was I dead?

Irritation came back to me almost full force, if I wasn’t in a limbo from a possibility of dying I might have been less cranky. My level of tolerant came up short at the moment. I wasn’t in the mood to play words game with an unknown spirit who might or might not try to possess me. 

“We are here because you need to accept who you are and your purposes.”

“I would be delight to hear the answers to those questions as well.” Because my brain would finally stop hurting every time I was trying to find them.

Spirit-Jed opened his mouth but his image flickered. His expression didn’t change when he said. “We ran out time. You will wake soon. When you do, remembered what I said.”

But that the problem wasn’t it. He didn’t say shit.

The spirit pivoted away from me.

“Hey! You can’t just leave!” I called out but clearly the spirit didn't care about what I had to say.

All around me shivered and I could see no more.

 

* * *

I woke with a gasp and met with a spider’s web on the ceiling. Slowly sitting up, a thin blanket slid down my body and realized I was only in my small cloths, my pendant hung coolly against my skin.

Right….. Flemeth’s hut. Morrigan should appear any second now.

“Ahh! Your eyes finally opened. Mother shall be pleased.”

I nodded to acknowledged her presence and looked down at my right side where the ogre Hulk-smashed into me. A large yellowish bruise marred my skin. “Were my injuries severe?”

“Yes, your broken rips and bruise were not something Mother could not heal. It was your head injuries that was most concerned with.” Morrigan replied from where she stood by the burning fireplace.

Head injuries? I didn’t realize I even had one. “I had head injuries...?”

“Mother said, because of the way you circulate your mana, it was too taxing and your brain couldn’t handle it. You were bleeding inside your head. Most fascinating, I must say. I’ve never encountered something like this before.” I looked at Morrigan, feeling almost like a lab rat for some reason. “’Tis must have been your first battle, is it not? Were you trying to cast a spell too complex for yourself without preparing?”

 _Ouch, it burns._ I thought solemnly. “It was that or we get ourselves cooked by the darkspawn.”

“Well, thanks to you. Your friends survived, though they didn’t seem to be taking it well from the experience.” Morrigan seemed satisfied with my response. She walked over to the bed where I sat and set my Warden Armors down next to me. They were cleaned, I couldn’t see any blood splatters from where I was sitting. “Dress quickly. Your friends have your weapons and other belongings. Mother asks to see you when you awoke.”

“My friends…are they injured as well?” I asked and started picking up the inner tunic. My movement was a bit stiffed but a few minutes of warm up I should be okay.

“Your friends….” She snorted. “…The suspicious dimwitted one or the suspicious annoying one with a mange beast? Both of them are fine, your injuries were the worst of all. They are waiting with Mother outside.”

I finished fastening my tunic as Morrigan was about to walked away to the back room where she came from. “Thank you for your help, Morrigan.”

“I…..” She clearly looked startled by my words. Her face showed how uncomfortable she’d felt from being treated with civility. “’Tis was nothing. Mother did most of the healing.” She paused and turned away. “I will go and make something to eat.”

Then she strode away to her destination, leaving me to finish dressing in silence.

 

* * *

Marble barked excitedly and launched himself at me when I closed the hut’s front door. I smiled and bent down scratch his neck.

“Hey, boy. Did you gain weight while I passed out?” I joked and Marble panted happily at my feet.

“See? Here is your fellow Grey Warden. You boys worry too much.” I heard Flemeth said her line. It wasn’t exact words, but considering the situation, it was the least of my problem.

“You....you are alive!” Alistair’s eyes widened as he turned to see me. And then all of the sudden it turned somber. “We thought you were dead for sure. Your nose bled, your ears bled…you were choking blood when we first got here.”

I opened my mouth to answer but another body barreling into me and squeezed both my and the dog. I blinked and realized Cian had wrapped me in his hug. I gave Alistair a questioning look over Cian’s shoulder, but he just shrugged and looked away from both of us, His face reddened.

Oi!

Cian unwrapped his arms from my body but both his hands still gripped my forearms. His eyes burning like green flame, his expression could easily be described as furious. Marble took it as a cue and slithered away from the space between us in a way no dog should be able to.

“You!” His snarl could rival his own War dog. My, what big teeth you have.

“Me?” I said innocently, which clearly wasn’t helping.

“Yes, you! You irresponsible suicidal nutbag of a mage!” Cian shook me with his grip, my body swayed to the rhythms of his words. “I swear on Andraste’s flaming sword, if you tried to kill yourself saving us again I will resurrect that Ogre that have it finished the damn job!”

I scratched my chin and simply replied. “You can’t. technically, you have to be a mage first to do Necromancy.”

Cian looked like I had grown another head and I could have sworn there was smoke coming out of his ears. I clicked my tongue and added. “What?. I’m just stating the fact. Look, I was just trying to keep us alive and I didn’t have time to explain the details. And to be honest, I really have no idea that ward glyph would do that to me.”

“The glyph you casted is well beyond your current ability.” Flemeth said from behind us, I glanced over and saw an amused look on her face. “You can’t get to the peak of the mountain without start climbing from the foot of it.”

An advice from Flemeth? Should I be worried? And my mouth didn’t seem to know better. “True. Unless you’ve got wings.”

She laughed just like when she first saw me which sent unsettling waves crashing into people surrounding her, me included. Cian seemed like he had enough of the uneasiness, so he shifted away and let go of my forearms. “I guess, we should thank you for saving us.”

Flemeth was still smirking as she replied. “If you know what is good for you, then you should.”

Alistair decided it was his cue to stepped up. “But what do we call you? You never told us your name.”

“Names are pretty but useless,….” The old witch glanced at me for a minute as if the word was meant for me but after she waved dismissively afterward. “The Chasind folks called me Flemeth. I suppose it will do.”

Both Alistair and Cian recoiled as if they were backhanded by her answered it almost comical.

“Flemeth?!” Alistair repeated. “ _The_ Flemeth from the legends? Daveth was right….you are The Witch of the Wilds, aren’t you?”

“And what does that mean? I know a bit of magic and it has served you all well, has it not?”

“But if you’re Flemeth, you must be very old and powerful.” Cian inserted his own opinion.

Flemeth turned to look at him. “Must I? Age and Power are relative…it depends on who is asking. Compared to you, yes, on both counts.”

“Then why didn’t you save Duncan?! He is….he was our leader.” Alistair asked, his face full of sorrow, his voice shook as he spoke.

Alistair’s words brought back the questions I had asked myself so many times before.

 _Why didn’t God save them?_ I asked that question when I lost almost everyone in my unit to an ambush on my last mission as a marine. I was never a religious sort, Jed was but he wasn’t very strict. I didn’t go to Church on Sunday and I didn’t pray.  

But I did. I prayed to God, to any higher beings who would listen when I was trying to staunch the blood from bleeding out of Remy’s neck.

I prayed and he died anyway, just like the rest of my unit. My almost non-existent faith was like dried wells in the middle of a desert.

Then, when I was informed by a phone call that my adopted father had been killed from a stray bullet when I was oversea working to root out some religious fanatic terrorists. I came home to bury his body. I sat in the house of God with Maudie, listened to the priest saying that Jed had gone to be with God because of all the good deeds he had done in life. I had asked, if he was good enough to be with God in the afterlife why didn’t God save him in the first place?

God didn’t answer. No one had. I was left with a hole inside my chest and the sorrow that ate at me.

Flemeth’s voice brought me back to the present. “I am sorry for your Duncan, but your grief must come later….in the dark shadows before you take vengeance, as my mother once said. Duty must come now.” She looked at all of us, the tone in her voice changed. “It has always been the Grey Wardens’ duty to unite the lands against the Blight. Or did that change when I wasn’t looking?”

“The land is hardly united. Thanks to Loghian.” Cian said with disgusted.

“I still don’t understand. Why would he do it?!” Alistair continued with his lines.

“Now’s that is a good question. Men’s hearts hold shadows darker than any tainted creatures.” Flemeth turned her back us and looked at the forests that stretched out beyond her hut. “Perhaps he believes the Blight is an army he can outmaneuver. Perhaps he does not see that the evil behind it is the true threat.”  

Alistair looked down at his boots. “The Archdemon.”

“You mean that Dragon we saw during the joining? Then we need to find this Archdemon.” Cian said.

“By ourselves? No Grey Warden has ever defeated a Blight without the army of half-dozen nations at his back.” Alistair shook his head. “Not to mention…..I don’t know how!”

Flemeth turned back to watch the exchange between Cian and Alistair. “How to kill the Archdemon or How to raise an army? It seems to me, those are two different questions, hmm? Have the Grey Wardens no allies these days?”   

“I don’t know…Duncan said that the Grey Wardens of Orlais have been called. And Arl Eamon would never stand for this, surely….”

“You mean the Arl of Redcliffe?” Cian asked. “I’ve heard that he wasn’t at Ostagar. So he should have all his men as well.”

“Of course!” Alistair snapped his fingers. “I know him. The arl is a good man, respected in the Landsmeet. He’s also the King’s uncle. We could go to Redcliffe and appeal to him for help.”

“You know, Loghain was also good and respectable. Why would the arl believe us over him?” Cian frown.

“The arl would never do what Teyrn Loghain did! I know him too well.” Alistair swiped his hand in front of him. “But I don’t know if arl Eamon’s help would be enough, he can’t defeat the horde by himself!”

No one said anything, the atmosphere was becoming unbearable. I cleared my throat to get everyone’s attention. “You know, there’s also the treaties Duncan gave to you.”

“There, that’s a smart lass.” Flemeth said, the mirth was back in her tone again.

Alistair’s eyes widened. He turned to pick up his pack then rummaged through his things until he pulled out a roll of yellowish paper. Without saying anything else he broke the seal and rolled out the papers. Cian poked his head to look at them as well. “Yes, yes. These treaties demand the aid from dwarves, elves, mages and other places! They’re obligated to help us during the Blight!”

The old witch crossed her arms. “I maybe old, but dwarves, elves, mages, this arl Eamon and who knows what else…this sound like an army to me.”    

“Why not? Let’s do it. Isn’t that what Grey Wardens do?” Cian answered.

Flemeth smirked again. “So you are set then? Ready to become Grey wardens?”

Crossing my arms, I said. “I’d be happy with just staying alive.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.” Cian muttered.

“Now that you mentioned it, that would be nice.” Alistair said and winked at me.

The old witch snorted. “Well, don’t expect me to do everything! There is, however one more thing I can offer.”

Morrigan walked out from the hut as if on cue. “The stew is bubbling, Mother dear. Shall we have guests for the eve or none?”

“The Grey Wardens will be leaving shortly, girl. And you will be joining them.”

“Such a shame—What?!”

Flemeth and Morrigan had their own conversation while we had ours. I whispered to Cian that we should accept Flemeth’s offer. He didn’t seem to think it was a good idea, he clearly saw both witches as too suspicious but I said that having another mage in our group might made surviving more manageable. He didn’t seem to be able to argue with that.

Finally, Morrigan agreed to leave with us and excused herself to get her belongings. Flemeth turned to us. “Remember Wardens, I give you that which I value above all in the world because you _must_ succeed.”

“She won’t come to harm with us.” I assured the old witch.

She laughed at my reply again. “Well, if she does…. I’m sure you know how it’ll end.”

Yes, you old hag. No need to remind me.  

Morrigan reappeared with her own pack before I started to get crankier and say even more stupid shits to a vessel of Elven Goddess. Cian handed me my belts, my throwing knives and _Starfang_ which I quickly strapped them back in place while both him and Alistair started gathering their weapons and belongings.

Morrigan said goodbye to her mother one last time. And we set out on our journey to end the Blight.

 

* * *

We didn’t get that far before we had to stop for the night. It was because I started our travel north already late into the afternoon. As usual, Morrigan had suggested that we first made a stop at Lothering. We were all agreed that we needed to restock our supplies before we decided where we should go first.

Lothering was only half a day away from Flemeth’s hut. If we really wanted, we could have foregone the sleep and braved the night. But I thought we shouldn’t exhaust ourselves too early, in case we were ambushed by darkspawn or bandits. 

We picked a spot under a large tree, not too far away from the main road but enough for anyone to not notice at their first glance. Morrigan set up a protection ward that would function like a parameter alarm if anything crossed pass it. I made a note to ask her to show me when she wasn’t as cranky. I dug out the dried meats I had packed before we left the King’s camp out from the wrap and distributed it evenly between me, Alistair and Cian. Morrigan insisted that she had her own food packed. Marble nibbled on his Scooby snacks/Mabari Crunches.

None of us besides Morrigan had any bedrolls, so we each picked a spot around the fire and used our packs as pillow. Morrigan disappeared under her fur lined bedroll at the opposite side of me. Both Cian and Alistair insisted I took the spot under the tree with me sandwiched between them. I only accept on the condition that I took the first watch, they had grumbled but agreed.

Marble curled his body closed to his master who laid on his back to my right. Alistair whom had been very quiet since we left Flemeth slept on his side on my left with his back turned to me. I was expecting this, so I left him be.

The night wind blew and the air gotten colder the later the night went on. The warming glyphs I casted seem to hold and I didn’t freeze to death as I sat with my back against the tree and legs crossed. The leaves above me rustled in the wind, leaving me a soft rhythm. I pulled out Amell’s notebook and read a couple of pages that she had wrote. I didn’t know how I feel when I saw that we had the same handwriting.

She had just started getting interested in herbalism. Her notes consisted on the basic combinations of easy to brew potions but it was nothing too major, maybe in the future I could try to get my head around and tried my hands at it.

This also brought me to the issue with my spellcasting and the side effects of it. I seemed to have no problem with Primal spells, some simple glyphs and such. But something more advanced, probably needed to be studied correctly for me to cast. I thought that the problem wasn’t that I couldn’t cast them but casting them correctly to make them effective as intended.

I won’t be able to ask for any advice from anyone—Morrigan would probably told me that her training and mine were too different to teach me. That left Wynne. But that would it would be a while until she joined us. So for the moment, I would have to be careful with my magic and relied on my swords.

With that done, I needed to plan about what I had to do, I turned the notebook upside down and opened it from the back and scribed down some details of what I remembered. Major things first, then smaller ones under them. I decided not to write the full details, who knew if I would lose this note and someone had picked it up. I had already decided against writing it at all but I knew I wasn’t an all knowing. There would be time when my brain couldn’t produce solutions fast enough. At least I would have a guideline here.

After I finished all the quests I could think of up until the Landsmeet, I came back to Lothering and circled it. I knew the Hawkes had lived there until Lothering was almost razed to the ground, they would have to flee the blight as soon as Carver or maybe Hawke as well came home from Ostagar.

In game, The Warden never met them. But maybe, if I dared enough, maybe I could warn them about either Bethany’s or Carver’s demise. I had no idea if I would be stuck here long enough after the Blight, my priority now was to do my Duty as Grey Warden. But if I was lucky….maybe, maybe I could travel to Kirkwall. Maybe I could have stop Anders somehow.

And Leandra Hawke was practically family to Warden Amell, even though they might not have met before. I admitted that my motivation was purely personal. I didn’t have anyone else I could call family anymore besides Maudie who was a world away. And wherever Amell was while I was here in her body, in this screwed up situation, if I could bring a family together at least once, maybe It was worth it.                

The wind picked up again, as I closed the note and put it away. The fire shivered so I threw in another log. It crackled with little sounds. The orange flame reminded me of a song I had heard a few years ago, it wasn’t because of the atmosphere we were in but instead the battle we had survived.

Before I could stop myself, I was already started humming.

 _Oh, misty eye of the mountain below_  
Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls  
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke  
Keep watching over Durin's son     

My voice wasn’t the best but at least it wasn’t off keys. There was nothing else but me but the wind and fire that accompanied me. I kept going.

 _If this is to end in fire_  
Then we should all burn together  
Watch the flames climb high into the night  
Calling out for the rope, sent by and we will  
Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side

In my mind, the images of the many deaths at Ostagar overlapped with the deaths of my own marine unit, of Jed’s funeral service, of many people I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to save. All of them blurred together.

 _And if we should die tonight_  
Then we should all die together  
Raise a glass of wine for the last time  
Calling out for the rope  
Prepare as we will  
Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side  
Desolation comes upon the sky

 _Now I see fire, inside the mountain_  
I see fire, burning the trees  
And I see fire, hollowing souls  
And I see fire, blood in the breeze  
And I hope that you'll remember me

 _Oh, should my people fall_  
Then surely I'll do the same  
Confined in mountain halls  
We got too close to the flame  
Calling out father hold fast and we will  
Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side  
Desolation comes upon the sky…

“That was such a happy song.” Someone said sarcastically.

Cian’s voice brought be back from the Memory lane. I glanced over at him, he laid on his back with one arm over his forehead. Marble put his head on Cian chest. Both of them peering at me, obviously for a while now.

An urge to dig a hole for myself on the ground was abundant, but I kept my passive face on. “That’s me, full of sunshine and cute kittens.”

Cian and his dog let out a snort at the same time, they were almost in sync. He scratched his mabari’s neck. “More like blood and gore for you.” He paused. “You know…..you kind of remind me of my mother.”

“Are you calling me old?” I gave him a mocked glare.

He laughed. “I don’t mean your looks. People used to call her the _Seawolf_ because she sung so many Orlesian Ships before she married my father. You, you are hard, you are violent most of the time but you talked with convictions. I feel like you would die to protect me. Just like my mother was.”

And I would. Or I would try, at least.

“My Family, there is nobody else alive besides my brother. Or at least I don’t think so.” He said quietly. “When you told me to trust his abilities to survive, I didn’t know why I’d believed you. You’re just some girl I just met. But somehow I felt like I could trust what you said.”

“Thanks, I guess…” I honestly didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I also remembered what you said about The Orlesian Grey Wardens. You know, the Teyrn also said something similar to what I had said when we arrived at Ostagar.”

I bet he did.

“After what I’ve seen aftermath of the battle, the Grey Wardens, The King’s soldiers, the hounds, and many others who lost their life because Loghain quit the field. And for what? The Throne? Who would sit on it while their country was burning down around them? In the pile of ashes?”

“Who knows….” I muttered. “Some people are too blind and deft to see and hear the truth. Even when it’s staring right at them in the face.”

“And it made me think, even if I somehow found my brother alive now, we’re still going to have to end the Blight. Because if we don’t then, there will be no Ferelden left to save and no Highever left to avenge. There will be nothing but death.”

“Yes.” I agreed.

“Every Grey Wardens in Ferelden is gone except for us…. What can three Grey Wardens do?”

“Save the fucking World, if pressed.” I borrowed my favorite Blackwall’s quote. He might not be a real warden but the man never said a truer word. “We will be okay. I promise.”

Maybe, not everything. I had no idea if my being here would change any outcomes. But I would make sure that we survived until the end. I made a silent vow to myself.

The leaves above us rustled in the wind again as I looked up at the cloudless night. Stars splashed across sky like tiny jewels on dark velvet. Neither me nor Cian said anything else. Both of also pretended we didn’t hear a sniffle coming from Alistair’s direction.

We weren’t the only people who had lost someone. And sometimes, especially in this kind of trouble time, A silence was the best kindness you could give to someone.

 

* * *

 We started our journey again after we broke our fast, the sun was barely rose from behind the Frostback Mountain. Getting into Lothering during day time would ensure that the stores would still be opened. The main road we had been traveled would lead us to The Imperial Highway. So far, I had not seen any other travelers besides us. There were neither deserters nor refugees. It was possible that we would encounter them once we were on the Highway proper. Considering Ostagar had fallen about three days ago—that was how long I passed out at Flemeth’s from what Cian told me, it was also meant that any survivors would have flee this area during that time.  

No one said a word since we began our walk today. Cian, Marble and I took initiative and led the group, with Morrigan glided quietly in the middle. Leaving Alistair who seemed to withdraw into himself ever since yesterday, walking the rear. Even expecting that it still worried me.      

“Tell us more about this village to the north.” Cian turned around and asked Morrigan, it seemed the silence was enough for him.

Morrigan mulled over for a minute before answered. “’Tis a small place of little consequence called Lothering. No more than a stop along your Imperial Highway where travelers purchase goods from local farms and smiths. I would go more often were it not for the town Chantry. It makes the village particularly intolerant and unpleasant for a stranger such as me.”

“The Chantry? And they never suspected you being an apostate?” Cian took Alistair line, well not exact words but close enough.

She scoffed. “Of course. They even sent out their templars once but they found nothing.”

Talking about Apostates. That remined me….

“You know…..” I started, trying to find a way to say it without giving away too much. Cian turned his attention back to me. “…if I remember correctly, I might have a family living in Lothering.”

“What?” Cian asked in surprised. “Why you haven’t said anything the last time we were there?”

“I thought your Chantry always sends a mage to some far away tower from where you were from?” Morrigan puzzled.

Tapping my finger on my belt as I thought about what to say. “The Amells are a nobility in Kirkwall. But Magic runs strong in our family. All my siblings were all taken to the circles once our magic manifested. I was sent to Ferelden Tower. I had no idea where my brother and sister were sent to.” I really didn’t remember about this part in the Lore, so I tried to lie as close to the truth as possible. “I’ve heard from my mother long time ago that her cousin had moved from Kirkwall to Ferelden, of course they might have moved on but the last place I remember mentioned Lothering.”

“They would break up a family like that because of magic?” Cian asked.

“Why does that surprise you? Your precious Chantry see us mages as a threat to be chained and caged. Prisoners to be oppressed and crushed under their holy boots.” Morrigan voiced her opinions, I had expected Alistair to start defending his side but I heard nothing.

“But that’s wrong.” Cian frown. “Dangerous or not…..they shouldn’t just take a child--”

He didn’t have a chance to finish, Marble barked a warning at us.

“Darkspawn!” Alistair was yanked out of his stupor by his Warden sense, he rushed forward to a direction off the road. The rest of us pulled out our weapons as we followed him.

Marble charged out into a small clearing at the same time as Alistair. A small group of darkspawn were attacking a lone mabari.

Umm....could it be?

Alistair didn’t seem to notice the dog. He slammed his shield into the nearest darkspawn, knocking them down before he delivered the finishing blow with his sword.

I told Morrigan to stay at range and did what she can before both Cian and I jumped into action. I was almost glad for a chance for an exercise. My injured side was still a bit stiffed but didn’t hindered my movement. I swung Starfang and cut down the nearest enemies.

They were not much of a challenge compared to what we had fought at the Tower of Ishal, the battle ended in less than five minutes.

“Is that a mabari?” Cian asked at the same time his dog growled suspiciously at the new comer.

A black coated mabari ran over to me just as I finished cleaning my blade. He yipped happily and circled around me. I sighed and crouched down to pet the dog.

“Maybe this is the mabari you cured at Ostagar.” Cian suggested.

“Probably…” I picked up a piece of gore from his fur and threw it away. His whole body seemed to shake in happiness, his lower body swung violently as his stubbed tail wagged back and forth. I looked down at his blue eyes and said. “You sure you want to come with?”

The dog replied with another yip and put his head on my knee.

“He probably imprinted on you and came looking for you after the battle finished.” Cian pulled out a mabari crunch. Marble growled disapprovingly in the background. “Here, try giving this to him.”

I took the snack and held it for the dog. He quickly chomped it from my hand, leaving wet drool on my glove.

Feeling a little conflict, I wiped my hand with a cloth and said. “What am I going to do with a pet?”

“Technically, he’s a War dog not a pet.” Cian replied. The new mabari barking as if to support this claim.

I sighed again. “Alright. You can come with us.”

“Excuse me. What are we? A traveling circus?” Morrigan was clearly disapproved. Cian just laughed at the statement. I held my tongue because we would really looked like what she said by the time every party members were present.

Marble walked over to a newcomer and gave him a sniff. He barked and the black mabari barked back as if they were having a conversation, they exchange the back and forth barks and growls after a few minutes and seemed to come up with some sort of conclusion. Marble trotted back to his master and my new mabari pressed himself to my legs.

“I will find you some more Scooby snacks when we get to Lothering, alright?” I petted him one more time. “Maybe you will even get a name.”

The dog seemed to be happy enough with whatever I said.

“What’s a Scooby snack?” I heard Cian muttered next to me but I wasn’t in the mood to explain.

I had expected some comments from Alistair whom I had noticed from the corner of my eyes, he just looked at the ground and waited quietly for us.

He still had not said a thing even when we reached the stone made Highway.

 

* * *

 

A/N :: Not much actions in this chapter, I think we all need a bit of a break from all the excitement in the last one.  And yes, my desire to keep the mabari overwhelmed my sense and I decided that she’s getting a dog after all. I blame those cute puppies’ gifs on my twitter feeds. OTL

The song Kiara sang in this chapter is **I see fire** by Ed Sheeran from The Hobbits movies. It seemed appropriated at time.

Next chapter, Bandits and Lothering…. will our Warden actually meet The Hawkes?.


	7. Gently Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to slap some bandits. The Wardens reached their first stop, Lothering.

**Chapter 7 :: Gently Falling.**

 

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.  
               - William Shakespeare

 

* * *

 

**KIARA**

 

“You can’t name a mabari _Bunny_!” Cian said exasperatedly and threw his hands up in the air.

“Said who?” I replied.

“Ugh. Have you no shame?” He pointed at my new War Dog. “First of all, he’s a dog not a rabbit. Second, he supposed to be _fearsome_ not cute and fluffy or bunny-like.”

I looked down at my black dog trotting along side me, his head as tall as my waist. Cian had said that he looked to be much younger than Marble and was quite large for his supposed age. “What wrong with Cute and fluffy? We can fool the enemies into underestimated us then he could tear into them when their guards are down. Right, _Bunny_?”

Bunny had clearly accepted his fate and happily yipped a reply. Marble on the other hand, whined and shook his head in disapproval at the disgrace his own species was showing.

The sun rose high above our heads, if I had to guess, noon is almost here. We had reached the Imperial Highway a few hours ago and been walking on the stone made road without any incidents. The arches that curved above the pathway gave the atmosphere some sort of epic journey, sure some parts of the highway could use some repairs but considering its age and the kind of technology Thedas had, the architectures had held throughout times pretty well. I guessed magic was big part in constructing the highway to withstand the elements as well.   

After a few hours on the road, the first group of refugees we saw were families of elves, who rushed away pass us when they saw our group. Possibly because we were a band of armed individuals with two large war dogs. In their eyes, we might have been bandits that preyed on people like them, or deserters from the army. What they did was a smart thing any sane people would have done.

“Umm….hey.” Alistair said quietly from where he was walking. We all turned to look at him. It seemed like his supposed stupor had ended.

“Ah, so you have finally decided to rejoin us, have you? Falling on your blade in grief seemed like too much trouble I take it?” Morrigan sneered.

“Is my being upset so hard to understand?” Alistair snapped back. “Have you never lost someone important to you? Just what would you do if your mother died?”

She snorted. “Before or after I stopped laughing?”

“Right. Very creepy. Forget I asked.”

“You have been very quiet, Alistair.” Cian inserted himself, possibly trying the quell the brewing tension between Alistair and Morrigan.  

“Yes. I know.” He looked down at his boots. “I was just….thinking.”

“No wonder it took so long, then.” Morrigan said her line and Cian’s earlier effort went down the sewer just like that.

Alistair was clearly in no mood in dealing with her. “Oh I get it. This is the part where we’re shocked to discover how you’ve never had a friend your entire life.”

Morrigan’s eyes widened a fracture, that remark seemed to affect her more in real life than in game. Her pale complexion turned a bit pink from that remark. “I…I can be friendly when I desire to! Alas, desiring to be more intelligent does not make it so.”

An elbow jabbed my side, I glanced at Cian whom nodded his head toward the two, possibly trying to tell me to stop it before the argument turned into something worse like Morrigan transformed into a bird and picked Alistair’s eyes out with her beak.

Rubbing my forehead, I cut off the conversation before Alistair could finish any insult. “What is it you want to talk about, Alistair?”

“I…” He gave the witch lone last glare before turning his attention back to me and Cian. “I thought we should think about where we intend to go, first.”

“You mean, after Lothering.” I said.

He nodded. “The treaties, there are three main groups that we have treaties for; The Dalish elves, the dwarves of Orzammar and the Circle of Magi. And I also think Arl Eamon is our best bet for help. We might even want to go to him first.”

“What do you think we should do, Morrigan?” I asked.

The witch blinked at me as if surprised. “You’re asking me?”

“Well, you are in our group too, aren’t you? Why not?”

It was only a second Morrigan seemed like she was lost for words but then the mask of uncaring slid back on. She crossed her arms and contemplated for a minute. “Go after your enemy directly. Find this man, Loghian, and kill him. The rest of this business with the treaties can be done in safety.”

It wasn’t a bad suggestion. In some situations, eliminating obstacles first was the first thing ones should be doing.

“Yes, he certainly wouldn’t see that coming!” Alistair crossed his arms. “And it’s not like he has an advantage of an army and experience and--”

Knowing where this was going, I cut him off by turning to Cian. “What about you? Where do you think we should go first?”

Cian rubbed Marble head as he gave my question a thought. “I think Arl Eamon is a good place to start too….” Alistair beamed at that statement but immediately deflated afterward. “But Morrigan’s suggestion is not bad either.” He glanced at me. “I’m surprised you haven’t suggest we go to the Circle first.”

“Why?....Because I’m a mage?” crossing me arms, I asked.

Cian thought for a minute then shrugged. “Sure.”

“Under normal circumstance, yes I might.” I replied. “But you forget that I was conscripted before the Templars could throw me in jail because I helped my friend broke out of the circle. They don’t forget easily of one who got away, you know.”

“Right.” Cian nodded thoughtfully.

“What Morrigan said isn’t a bad idea in certain circumstances.” I explained. “But right now, he’s surround by an army, he also an influence figure in the Landsmeet, killing him out right without supports would just be an assassination and making him a martyr. Thus, giving the masses more reason to fear us. But thank you for your input, Morrigan.”

Morrigan murmured something under her breathe that sound like _whatever_.

“I think before we can decide where to go, we should see how much supply we can procure at Lothering.” I said as our group started walking again. “Going to the Dalish or the dwarves require us to have stable supplies because we have to wither go deep into the Brecillian Forest or going to Orzammar. Also, we should find out any news of what else is going on. That might help us in making decision about where to go fir--”        

A group of silhouettes formed on the road in front of us stopping me from finishing. The others noticed them just as I did.  

As we got closer, I spotted several wagons accompanied by a group of men, all armed with weapons. They were laughing and saying things to one another. There were several bodies on the floor that some of the men were riffled through. Both mabari started growling. Cian’s hand moved to his weapon. I turned to Morrigan and signaled her to stay behind us.

“Highwaymen.” Alistair said and stepped up next to me, narrowed his eyes. “They’re probably preying on those feeling the darkspawn.”

“They are fools to get in our ways. I say, teach them a lesson.” Morrigan sneered from behind Cian and the dogs.

One of the men finally noticed us. He leaned toward another man, possibly the leader, who glanced toward our direction. A second later the rest of the group had their eyes on us. They smiled among themselves as the leader and two others moved forward while the rest blocking the path.

“Greetings, Travelers.” His smiled with all his yellow teeth, his eyes traveled from us one by one. He stopped and leered at Morrigan for a second before his eyes came back to me. “I bet this pretty one is the leader.”

Bunny snarled next to me. The leader eyed the dog with narrowed gaze but simply dismissed him as a threat. Not a smart move.

One of his lackey, however noticed both dogs and weapons we carried. “Err…they don’t look much like them others. Umm…. maybe we should let this one pass…..”

“Nonsense.” The leader barked and his lackey shrank back. His eyes flickered to _Starfang_ on my back before came back to me. “Usually, we collect 10 silvers as a toll for anyone who want to pass. But…..” The man stepped closer to me. “I will let you pass for free.”

“Oh, really? How generous of you.” I said sarcastically. This was new to me as well but I had known this type of people. Regardless the war dogs accompanied us or the weapons we carried, they would always see first, two women and assumed that we would always be nonthreatening.   

Maybe this was a good time for some exercise. The tips of my fingers tingled from anticipation I had to crack my thumbs inside my fists to stop myself from being too obvious.

“Yes. We are very generous. We will let your group pass for free if you and the dark hair temptress over there accompany us to the tavern…maybe spend a few hours--”

“Hey! That’s not the way to talk to a--” Alistair sounded furious, but I lifted my hand and blocked him.

“Please, Alistair I can handle this.” I said calmly and gave Cian a look, he didn’t seem happy but still moved in to pull Alistair back.

“That’s right. Shut up while your betters are talking!”

Morrigan snorted and muttered from behind me. She seemed to find this situation comical. “Imbeciles….”

“Now,….where were we?” The leader whom I dubbed as Moe, moved closer into my personal space. His hand reached toward my face.

Before his un-sanitized hand could connect to any parts of me, I dropped down in a flash, my right hand pulled a dagger he wore on his belt and my leg shot out in a sweep, kicking his legs, the movement dropped him on his back, the weapon—a mace fell from his hand. I snatched and threw it at one of his lackey who had sword and shield on his back. The mace smacked into his chest, the impact knocked him down. As my body shot back up, I swung the stolen dagger at the other lackey’s throat, sharp point dug into his flesh before his could draw his own weapon. And last, I stomped my left boot on to Moe’s neck, hard enough to temporary incapacitated him but not crushed his larynx.

The whole thing was finished in less than two minutes.

I blinked, a surprise shot through me. Knowing that there was no way I could execute those moves this fast even with a trained body. And Amell’s wasn’t, at least not yet.

Could this be the side benefits from turning into a Grey Warden?   

A sharp cry of pain from the man whom took a mace to his chest, still rolling on the ground brought me back to the present.

Whatever the reason how my flexibility had increased, my musing could wait until later.

My eyes swept across the current situation.

The one whom had a dagger to his throat lifted both of his hands in surrender. The rest of the highwaymen’s eyes widened in shock. Whoever these men were before, they were clearly just had started a life of crimes. I eyed the dead bodies that laid ransacked on the side of the road, one of them wore a templar uniform, another was an older woman- an elf, from the pointed ears I noticed. Other bodies were dressed in peasant clothes, splatters of dark brown from days old blood already dried mixed in with the dirt from traveling. These people fall preyed to them because they were outnumbered or unable to defend themselves when the money wasn’t enough to pay for their lives.

_A flash of dust and sand appeared in my mind, followed by memories of women in blood soaked headscarves, children screaming in pain from bullet wounds._

Shaking myself hard from being swallowed up by the past. I concentrated on the bubbling anger toward the current situation instead. 

Two hands grasped at the ankle of my boot, the foot that still pressing down on the leader on highwaymen. I put on more pressure, he choked on for breath, somehow this brought me slight satisfaction.

In the corner of my eyes someone moved toward me. I was about to grab my throwing knife but a blur of black ball shot passed me.

Someone screamed in pain. And a dog growled through the bitten flesh. _Good Bunny_.

No one said anything then, except the painful yowling and choking noise under my foot.        

“I’ve been walking all day under the sun. it’s hot. I’m hungry, my dog is hungry…” another scream rang out as well as some bone crunching sound. It seemed my dog had taken someone’s hand as his new chew toy.

I peered down at Moe who still clawing unsuccessfully at my boot on his neck. I looked up at the rest of the highwaymen, my voice dropped in the same exact tone when I was a Marine sergeant. “I had just risked my life trying to save people at Ostagar, so they’ll have a chance to go on with their lives. And here you are again. Robbing them from their last possessions when their lives are already at their worst! You killed old defenseless women and men because their coins were not enough?! You think your numbers made you have advantage over a lone knight trying to do best at his job so he could feed his family?! Do you know what I usually do to people like you?”

Anger I didn’t know I had in me before, ignited. My left hand lit up, engulfed in a ball of flame. Weirdly, the fire that licking my leather glove didn’t burn me, though I could feel the heat radiated from it.

“She’s a mage!” One of bandits cried in fear.

“Their….their armors….” Another one pointed at me. “I remember now…they are the Grey Wardens!!!”

Someone also lost control of their bladder. another wept loudly, begging for their lives to be spare. I looked down at the leader at my feet again. His face leaking snorts and tears, choking on his sobs. “You asked me to spare your lives?...What about them?” I swung my flaming hand toward the corpses on the road. “Did they ask for their lives?”

He gaggled something under my boot. I lifted a fracture of the weight up, so he could answer me. “Well, Did they?” The man kept sobbing. I was starting to lose my patient and shouted. “ **Did they!?** ”

“Yes…please…don’t kill…don’t kill me…” Tears dripping down his face. A pathetic display rivaled only by his lackeys who trembling in their boots.

“Return everything you have stolen to my Warden friends at once.” I said, snubbing the flame on my hand with a flick of my wrist. “And remember today, think of my face the next time you are about to rob helpless people fleeing for their lives. Be remind that I will be there to finish the job today. And next time, there will be no warning!”

I shouted the last part just like my former drill sergeant had done at the boot camp before moving off the prune body of sobbing bandit, he was quickly dragged away by the nearest lackeys. The rest of his crew threw stuffs they had taken on the ground and fled without waiting for anyone else.

By the time they all scrammed, I remembered the dagger in my right hand. I looked down at it and saw a good quality blade and decided to keep it. Sliding the dagger into one of the empty sheath on my belt. 

Even after the flame on my hand had distinguished, the ire was still permeated my body. It took me a full minute to rein it all back. Even then I could still it shimmering underneath my mental lid.  

Bunny picked that time to trot over to me and sat on his hunch, waiting for a praise. I patted my new pet’s head. “Good Bunny! I promise I’ll get you a biggest bone I can find!” 

The mabari barked happily and showing his bloody teeth in a canine smile. At least someone was happy. 

Turning around, I was greeted with widened eyes and disturbing faces of my own party members.

Did I also set my hair on fire? I patted my own head but nothing was burning.  

“Was the fire really necessary?” Alistair said disapprovingly. 

Lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “What?.....you didn’t like my party trick?”

“I meant that do you really have to go as far as you did?” Alistair revised his words.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because the next time they’re thinking about killing a defenseless woman for a handful of silvers again, they won’t.” I said. Anger that just shimmered down a minute ago was bubbling again. But this time it was because I had to defend my actions to my own teammate. “I could also simply cut them down. But what would that do? There will always be more people like them. Always.”

“But--”

“What’s done is done. Alistair, help me check what junks these bandits had left for us. Maybe we can savage these and trade for supplies.” Cian cut off Alistair and turned to me. “You, go walk it off.”

Both Alistair and I stared after Cian, if he was feeling as disapprove as the other did, he didn’t say it. Instead he moved over to the stuffs the bandits had left over and started rummaging. Morrigan muttered something I couldn’t hear under her breath but came closer to help Cian as well. My eyes connect with Alistair’s hazel ones, they looked almost green from where I stood. But it was something else in there that akin to disheartening, and they were directed pointedly at me.

I grounded my teeth. No longer wanting to be under his scrutinized, I turned away.

Wanting desperately to be anywhere else but here. my eyes sweeping the distant for such places. The shape of the windmill, its silhouette already stood within sight. I decided to take up on Cian’s suggestion. 

Without looking back, I started walking. My new mabari bounced after me. I told them without turning. “Lothering is already in sight. I’m going ahead. Meet me at the town Tavern when you get there.”

“Try not to kill anyone until we get there!” Cian shouted after me.

I waved my hand without looking back. “No promises….”

 

* * *

 

**CIAN**

 

Something was bothering Kiara he could tell. Cian thought as he watched his fellow warden strode away with her new mabari.

At first, he suspected it was from something Alistair had said, or the reaction the other man had after it all happened. Even from where he stood, Cian could see disapproving rolling off of Alistair in waves. 

But there was something else, too. Something that he couldn’t figure it out.

Was it because of the family she’d mentioned earlier? Worrying about how they would treat her didn’t seem like something Kiara would do. Or was it because they had not met? Still seemed unlikely.

Finding an answer about Kiara was like figuring out an unsolvable puzzle.

Cian sighed and got back to his task. They managed to scavenge left over weapons, some good quality clothes and valuable trinkets from the carts the bandits had left behind. Morrigan found a heavy pouch of coins, while Marble sniffed out some edible foods for him. He glanced over at the blond warden who had said nothing else since Kiara departed, Alistair was crouching over a dead templar. In his hand held a gold necklace and a crumbled piece of paper.

“What have you found?” Cian asked.

Alistair stood, he turned and held up the necklace and a letter. “This templar’s name is Ser Henric. I think he was supposed to meet with a knight from Redcliffe at Lothering Chantry. Maybe we can return these to him.” He slipped both items into his pack. “It’s the least what we can do.”

Following Alistair’s gaze down to the fallen Templar, a sad sigh escaped Cian. Remembering what Kiara had said about these unfortunate souls that fall preyed to the bandits, he could understand her anger a little better now. He murmured a prayer to the dead man.  

“Sometimes, I can’t tell what that woman is thinking.” Alistair said quietly, his eyes hadn’t left the Templar’s body.

Cian glanced over at Morrigan who seemed to be having a conversation with his dog before replying. “I think that statement covered all Women in general.”

He had to agreed. Kiara was a walking contradiction, and then there was Morrigan. Cian was still suspicious of her motives in joining their journey. Whatever Flemeth had claimed them to be, he still didn’t trust what she said. He only accepted their help because Kiara’s reason seemed sound enough.

That reminded him of something he had been thinking. “By the way, do you see how fast Kiara move?”

Alistair looked at him for a minute. “Yes. It might be the side benefit from becoming a Warden. I’ve heard that most people gained more stamina and endurance after the joining. Some mages also claimed their mana reserve also increased, too.”

“Heh…Does that mean, you can also move like that?”

“Who? Me?” Alistair’s eyes widened. He scratched his head. “I don’t think so….but maybe that’s not what I gained from being a Warden. Aside from sensing the darkspawn, I can take more hits before being knocked out cold, I guess.”

That didn’t seem to be reliable information coming from Alistair. Cian thought to himself.

“Warden! Come and remove this filthy beast of yours. Or we will be having a dog stew this eve!” Morrigan’s voice screeched furiously. Marble whined and bounced around her in circle.

He sighed again before turning to Alistair. “Let’s gather these weapons and trinkets. After we meet up with Kiara at the Tavern we can trade them for supplies.” He paused for a moment. “Even if I want my dog to chew off a piece of Morrigan, we’d better go.”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing that.” Alistair replied.

Both laughed at the notion then got to work moving the stuffs they had found.      

 

* * *

 

**KIARA**

 

The large windmill was the first thing my eyes spotted. Not because it was near the entrance of the town but because it was the tallest thing as well as sitting on a small hill.  

The crossroad from the Highway led directly into the town square where most of the buildings situated. Small farms could be seen as my mabari and I passed by from both sides of the road, as well as many make-shift tents that clearly belong to the refugees. The lone templar greeted us and gave me the same warning about the town was already being full of people as usual. I only said a quiet thank you and moved pass him. Whether he recognized my uniform or not, his bloodshot eyes and exhausted face didn’t show. Even if he did, I doubted he would care about it at this point.

My mind started wandering to other things.

Finding Hawke in this village might take some time to accomplish, I had no idea if we would have long enough to get things done. Since I had no clue what class Hawke would be. I knew that much that Bethany was always a mage, so I could assume that they wouldn’t want to live too close to the chantry. It was possible that their house would be on the outskirt of town. Wandering aimlessly from house to house with weapons on my back was not a clever idea, people might think me a burglar instead.

The tension earlier slowly bled away from my body. I felt like slapping myself for saying unnecessary things to Alistair. Even knowing the man the way he had been living so far wouldn’t understand why I did what I did. At this point, Alistair had only been a warden for six months, the horror of war hadn’t catch up with him yet.

The man hadn’t realized that the damage at Ostagar was only the beginning of the loss of his innocent.

If this was a game and not real life, I might be able to spare him that.

Ironic, wouldn’t you say? 

But the fact remained that this was real. Whatever this was. People who bled and died were real enough. The Blight was upon them all. There was no time. If the reason for my being here was to help end the Blight then I could no longer effort to be considered and wait for Alistair to grow up. Even if that meant he end up hating me in the process. 

Bunny bumped into my leg as if he sensed my mood. Bringing me back to my surrounding again. Alistair and his disapproval could wait for another time, right now I need to focus on this little trading post village, Lothering. 

Reviewed my mental note again about that we would be doing, recruiting Leliana and Sten, getting some jobs done for the chanter’s board so we could have some extra money, getting supplies, checking in with that Knight from Redcliffe for arl Eamon’s news, rescuing Bodan and Sandal. Doing all of that before the darkspawn marched through the village.

_No pressure_. I sighed. 

Looking around again. From what I observed so far, many of the refugees were merely peasants and farmers. Some of them even bought their cattle with them. No doubt they would have wanted to be as far away from blighted land as possible. Little children ran passed me and Bunny, laughing at whatever game they were playing, oblivious to the horror of the world. Some of them eyed Bunny with genuine interests but the size of my war dog clearly stopped them from approaching. The same went with most of the adults that we’d passed, they seemed to move away from me as soon as strode pass. Many had given us a caution look. But none came close to make conversation.

The town square wasn’t really a town square, instead it consisted of several shops surrounding a sturdy looking Chantry with an aqueduct ran through the center as a water source. I spotted the lone man dressed white and red garment stood nearby a wooden post—possibly a chanter’s board. I was making a note to myself to pick up the job later when a commotion nearby caught my attention.

“….I should have the Templars giving away everything in your cart!”

I turned toward the noise and saw an older woman dressed in similar garment to the Chanter being pushed away by a group of man but only one spoke, probably the merchant. People around them inched away, obviously not wanting to get involve.

“You wouldn’t dare! Any of you step too close to my goods, and I’ll--”

Remembering how the conversation went, I was about to intervene when someone shot out from behind me in time to grab the man’s hand before he could push the sister again.

“Now, now. No need to put a hand on a woman of the cloth. That’s just not right.”

A tall woman with black hair tied up in a ponytail stood between the two parties. From where I was standing, I couldn’t see her face clearly. But from her simple clothing, she was probably one of the working class in the village, the brown and maroon fabric did the job of hiding the mud smudges. She wasn’t neither bulky nor skinny, her body was that of someone who moved around a lot, the muscles visible under the sleeveless shirt was simple indication. She talked animatedly with her whole body, and even I could only see her from behind. From the relief expression of the chantry sister, it was clear they would reach a peaceful resolve soon.

A minute later, the chantry sister departed with a huge smile on her face. “May the Maker watch over your path.”

Since the problem was no longer there, I was about to turn back and read about the job offers on the Chanter’s Board when someone shouted.

“What about our deals?! Wasn’t the extra money supposed to be paying us?” One of the men from the merchant group shook his fist in the merchant’s face, he paled and shrank away.

The tall woman moved, trying to wade in once again between the conflict. “Gentlemen--”

“Shut it, woman! Because of you, we didn’t get what was promise us.” Another man, this one was built like fortress, all bulky muscles with a large sword on his back, pointed his finger to the woman’s face. His expression furious.

Bunny growled beside me. Letting out a sigh, my hands palmed the knives at my belt. Before the second man could draw his sword, I shot out like a cannon ball—Gotta love the new Warden reflex. Knives in each hand pricked the necks of both men.

“What the--”

Everyone gasped, clearly didn’t notice where I was coming from. The two men were both taller than me, but I had an advantage where I got sharp objects nicking their unprotected necks. Left over adrenaline from my earlier fight hadn’t gone down completely, it hummed through my body.

Giving my best stare down, I commanded. “Leave.”

Sweats pouring, the man with the sword said. “But my mon--”

“ **Leave.** ” I pushed the word more forcefully. The fade around me danced, wanting me to pull on it again. It was tempting but I held myself from doing so. Exposing myself as a mage in front of a Chantry was not the best idea. Pressing the pointed end deeper into their skin, red dots starting to appear. “Leave or Die. Pick.”

Bunny bounded forward beside me, growling at them to enforce my words.

“F….fine!” The man without a sword stumbled backward, his beady eyes wandered from my face to the insignia on my pauldron then back to my face again, they shone with contempt. He pulled his friend’s arm away from where they stood. “Let’s go.”

The man with the sword didn’t seem to agree until his friend whispered something to him. Gritting his teeth and glaring at me, he spat the word out. “Don’t think I forget this!”

I didn’t think they would. But as far as I was concerned, both had retreated quickly and melted away into the crowds. As well as the people whom watched our altercation, they dispersed just as fast.

“My, you are fast.” A woman voice said from behind me. After sheathing my weapons to my belt, I turned around.

Greeting me was a pair of blue eyes, the same shade that reflected my own in the mirror. Her nose also the same upturn shape as mine though longer. Dark brows contrasted pale skin. This person should be called Handsome than pretty, even if she was a woman.

The nagging feeling in the back of my mind was pricking me. Could this woman be….

Without waiting for my response, her eyes noticed my war dog and a smile lit her face. She pulled out something form her pocket then bent forward with her arm outstretched to Bunny. My dog sniffed her hand to inspect the item that was offered to him. And in a blink, he opened his mouth and snatched away the snack, chewing happily.

“Thank you for stepping in.” The woman finally said with an easy smile on her face.

Suddenly I felt like the sun was bathing directly on me. The urge to held up my hand to shield my eyes from the light was overwhelming but I successfully forced not to.

“Do not mention it.” I replied looking up at her. She was taller than me by mere inches. Our eyes met. After a second the smile wavered a bit when she finally had a chance to really look at me. I could see many thoughts darted around in her eyes, even though I had no idea what they were.

“You know….” She said, brows furrowed as she contemplated the words. “…..This is going to sound weird but--”

“Livia!!”

A distinctive male voice called out loudly from the other side of the street. Both the woman—whose name seemed to be Livia and I turned at the same time. The newcomer was a tall young man, he looked to be under twenty years old. His short black hair gleaming in the sun. His skin tanned, his body muscled and bulky like he was trained all his life in the art of pummeling people. I spotted bandage on his left arm as well as a large sword on his back—which I remembered seeing this type of swords before just days earlier, they were standard weapon issued to the soldiers for Fereldan Army.

“What are you doing in front of the _Chantry_?!” His expression akin to panic when he reached where the woman and I stood. But he didn’t seem to acknowledge my presence, either he was too absorbed in scolding the woman or he hadn’t seen me in the first place.   

Up close, I could see the similar features between the two, with a few differences, of course. Livia’s eyes were blue but his were grey. He had a straight roman nose that seemed to be broken more than once instead of upturned one.  

“Calm down, dear brother. I was just helping Sister Isla with that annoying merchant…” She paused for a minute, glancing to the man whom she first talked to. While both Livia and I was having scrutiny match, the said merchant went back to his vendor that sat right across from the Chantry as if nothing had happened. “No harm was being done.”     

“No harm? You called meddling in between a _chantry sister_ and a trader in front of the Chantry full of Templars in the middle of the day--No Harm?” Still not noticing me, the brother crossed his muscled arms over his chest. “Mother already told you to leave the issue alone, it’s not our business! What if you get hurt or ending up fighting?”

“What are you? My Keeper? I can protect myself, you know. I’ve been doing it this past six months when you were away playing a good little soldier.” Livia didn’t seem to be intimidated at all, she looked almost annoyed instead. With a fist on her hip, she let out a big sigh. She slid away from her brother, and sidled next to me. “Besides, this gallant person kindly assisted me with the problem.”

With that said, she waved her hand in front of me as if to present me to her brother. The young man swung his attention to where I'd been standing, finally noticed another presence there. The scowl on his face melt away in a slow motion when his eyes found mine. A pair of grey eyes travel from my face to my armors and my sword, then to my happily panting mabari before swung back to my face again. His mouth fell open in an O.

“It…..” He blinked and trying to find the words. “It’s a Grey Warde--Oow!!”

Livia jabbed her elbow into his side. “Manners, Carver! You can’t call a lady an _it_.”

Hearing the name finally confirmed my suspicion. My body started to itch with unexplained sensation. I was about to tell her I was no lady when she swung back to me so fast, her long ponytail smacked her brother’s face. A wide smile lit up her face. “Please, forgive my brother’s poor manners. He was dropped on his head quite often as a child--”

“Oi!” Carver protested that statement.

The woman ignored him. “Thank you for helping me, earlier. My name’s Livia Hawke. This foul-mannered boy is my younger brother, Carver.”

Even when I realized who they were a moment earlier, having heard Hawked herself confirmed the truth out loud, was like a gong going off in my head. The echo of the statement bounced around in my skull like pinball machine.    

Hawke was here, in Lothering, in the goddamn flesh.

That was when my mouth ran away from my brain. The next words spilled out of my lips like an unstoppable bullet. 

“I’m Kiara Amell. I think, I’m your cousin.”

 

* * *

 

**A/N ::** Sorry for taking a while to get this chapter out. I’ve been distracting by Otome games (and their sparkling ikemen) and catching up with some anime. That’s why I took so long to finish this one.

The chapter is actually longer but I felt the need to chop it off in two parts, the contents were a bit too long. So, we will have more of Hawke in the next chapter as well as recruiting new party members.    

As usual, thank you for all the words of encouragement as well as suggestions, all the kudos and comments. Y’all made me want to write more and more. Thank you so much!


	8. Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three Wardens walk into a Bar….

**Chapter 8 :: Encounters.**

The world of dew  
is the world of dew.  
And yet, and yet--  
               - Kobayashi Issa

* * *

  **KIARA**

The Tavern smelled like a mixed match of fouled odors. It was cramped with patrons inebriated on cheap alcohol, many of them did not care anymore that the drinks in their hands were not what they had ordered, most of them just wanted to be drowned in their mugs rather than remembering that their Bann had left them to fend for themselves against the marching horde. Desperation lingered thickly in the air, not helping that the room was already stank.

Hawke had left Carver and me at _Dane’s refuge_ after my announcement. Considering the fact that I just dropped the bomb without any evident, Hawke’s reactions were simply giving me a huge smiled and said “That’s why you look like my mother!” Before announcing that she was going to head home and let her mother know about me.

Carver had protested but his sister didn’t seem to listen. She insisted that I should stay at their house during my time in Lothering. When I gave excuse about how there were other people in my party she just waved her hand dismissively and assured me that it was fine. Nothing dissuaded the eldest Hawke sibling in changing her mind.  

So here I was, sitting at one of the table at the Tavern, waiting for Cian and co. to show up, with Carver as my keeper. The only seats available were at the back end on the raised platform where a drunken minstrel trying to play a song with his lute. I had chosen the seat with my back against the wooden wall, facing the entrance. It was loud but at least I could see the whole tavern from this spot.

The patrons seemed to congregate around the fire place on the bottom floor. Most wallowing in their drinks but I spot a man dressed in good quality armor, he looked too cleaned to be deserter from the army. A metal box sat next to his feet as he watched the scene and sipped on his drink. This might be one of the Blackstone liaison. I made mental note to talk to the man later.      

“I thought all Grey Wardens died at Ostagar.” Carver said from the seat opposite me. The statement sound like a question.

“Not all of them.” I replied curtly before taking a sip of ale from the wooden mug and frown when my tongue met with a diluted bitterness, someone either had mixed water into my ale or that it was poorly brewed to begin with. This tasted worse than MGD 64. I’d regretted not ordering anything stronger as I thought back about a moment ago. I picked up a dog treat from a small bag that I just bought from the bar maid and gave it to Bunny to snack on. My mabari snapped it in his mouth before chewing happily from under the table. 

As I was making another mental note to ask Hawke about where to get more dog food when I heard Carver asked.

“How did you get away?”

Even though his words were a simple question, but somehow it almost sound like something else. “Are you asking how I deserted?”

My question seemed to startle him. “What?!....No! I mean…..” He flustered, red crept up his face.

Chuckled at his reaction, I said. “Don’t worry, I’m not offended. My friends and I, the three of us only survived because we were sent to lit the beacon instead of marching with the King. None of us are happy we were excluded from the fight. But we had our order, and that was to light the beacon and defend it afterward.”   

“We could have won if _that man_ hadn’t quit the field.” His voice lower than usual, possibly didn’t want to attract attention from uninvited party. He took a swig from his own mug.

Sipping my own. “Maybe. Or we could have lost even with the reinforcement and you could have die instead of coming home to your family.”

Carver looked down at his mug. He said quietly. “I had thought that I finally found a place where I would no longer be in my sister’s shadow…. the people in this village love Livia. No one even cares if she was a ma--” He stopped himself from finishing that sentence but it was too late, the cat was out of the bag.

So, Hawke in this world is a mage. That meant Bethany was doomed to die in couple of weeks, instead of the young man sitting in front of me. Somehow knowing that didn’t seem to make me feel any better. 

Draining my mug, I waved my hand at the passing barmaid for another drink. She had informed me again that they had run out of both brandy and rum. Contemplating after a few minutes, I ended up ordering a bottle of spirit and a mug of hot cocoa. Both the barmaid and Carver gave me funny eyes after hearing that, but neither said anything. I tossed another snack under the table for Bunny as I waited for my drink.

Looking at the young man sitting across from me, his expression troubled from almost babbled a family’s secret to someone he had just met. I remember the Carver from the game, A lot of fans disliked him for being an annoying brat. But to me he always was an interesting character. Someone who seem to always be trying to break free of a family name as but at the same time trying his best to protect them.

Bethany’s death would be another reason for pushing him to try even harder to break away from Hawke. While it would be better for him in the end, was it a good enough reason to let someone like Bethany died?

It might sound easy in a game but this was real life. Who was I to play with their lives and emotions?

As I was contemplating about this, my eyes noticed a lone figure passing through the tavern’s door. A slim woman wearing chantry long garment. Her hair was bob short but also choppy—as if they were cut by knife instead of scissors, the shades--consisted of light auburn and ginger, glowed like dancing flame as she moved closer to the fireplace. Some of the patrons gave her polite greetings which she returned with warm smile. Her eyes glided through the crowded tavern as if looking for someone.

I’d bet my money that this redhead was Leliana.

“How long have you been a Grey Warden?” Carver’s question brought my attention back.

“To be honest? Less than a week.” I answered honestly, seeing no reason to lie about it. Considering I passed out about 3 days after Ostagar, my estimation was probably correct.  

Carver had said something but his voice droned out when my eyes caught another newcomer. A group of three soldiers strode through the entrance. The leader was a dark skin man in polished armor with a large sword on his back. The other two also armed with weapons in their hands were papers. As soon as they stepped inside, the leader started shouting and his men started showing the papers around. The frustration on their faces weren’t unexpected, since almost everyone inside the tavern were intoxicated. I noticed the red hair sister followed their movements and observed them from a safe corner just like I knew she would do.

Carver’s hushed swore brought my attention back to him. He also noticed the newcomers and he wasn’t looking too happy. “That’s Captain Ackley. He’s one of Teyrn Loghain’s men.” Carver hunched over as if to make himself smaller. “What are they doing here? Do you think they are looking for deserters?”

His worried expression was obvious. The real meaning of his question was ‘Do you think they are here for me?’

Soldiers deserted after Ostagar for many reasons other than that they didn’t want to fight anymore or that they were afraid of death. Some were worried that their families would be perished unless being warned. Or some just couldn’t accept the decision Loghain had made because they were loyal to the Theirins and by abandoning Cailan to the darkspawn, it was an act of treason. My guessing that Aveline belonged to the latter group, while Carver was the first.

Despite the complaining about being sick of being overshadowed by mages in the family, Carver’d still valued them more than anything.     

Taking a pity on him, I replied. “I don’t think so. They could find those plenty outside. And see how they only approach female patrons?” I paused long enough for Carver to catch on. Once he did, I continued. “They are likely looking for someone specific. And possibly a female. So nothing for you to worry about.”

Although, the chances that they were looking for me were pretty high.             

“Here you go, darling.” The barmaid finally arrived with my orders, she set them next to my bag of dog’s biscuits.    

“Thank you.” I slipped her the coins, a bit more than the cost itself. She gave me a huge smile before sashayed away. The hot cocoa was warm, from the color I expected it to also be watered down just like every drink serving here. Grabbing the spirit bottle, I twisted off the cork before pouring a little bit into the warm cocoa. Since I had no stirrer, I just swirled the mug a bit before taking a sip. Rich sweetness with a kick of the spirit greeted me, at least they didn’t water down my cocoa. The drink warmed up my body better than the ale earlier.

Carver quietly watched me drank, his expression a mix of confused and fascinating, at what though I had no idea.

When my delicious drink was halfway down, a loud commotion caught both our attentions. Another group had arrived at this packed tavern, two armed men carrying large sacks, a woman with a staff and a mabari. It sounded almost like a beginning of a bar joke. And as soon as they moved further inside, Loghain’s men took noticed of them and didn’t wait to start something. 

“They are wearing Grey Warden uniforms, Ser!” One of the solider pointed out to his captain.

“I can see that you dimwit!” Captain Ackley spat back to his subordinates.

Just then it seemed the minstrel decided to stop his drunken singing at the same time with the rest of the patrons in the establishment. Everyone, including Leliana, openly watching the exchange.

Alistair whom I spotted whispering something to Cian, possibly telling him that these were Loghain’s men. The captain read the paper before scrutinized. “The description said here that the one they spotted were a female warden with blond hair.” He paused and threw the page back at one his subordinate. “No matter, we arrested all of them as The Regent had ordered.”

Everyone seemed to know it was a cue to moved away from that spot, even drunken patrons were aware enough not to get in the middle of a fight between armed people. Cian and Alistair already had their hands on their weapons, Morrigan clutched her staff. Marble positioned himself in front of his master.

No one hadn’t seemed to notice me yet. Bunny growled from under the table as if sensing the brewing trouble, making Carver look down at him and frown.   

Before anyone could move further, Leliana stepped in and intervened. “Gentlemen, surely there is no need for trouble. These are no doubt simply poor souls seeking refuge.”

The usual exchanges went on as I put down my mug and stood up quietly. Carver eyed my movement but I put a finger to my lips, hushing him before he could say anything. “Stay here and watch my drink. You don’t need to expose yourself to them.”

Bunny moved from under the table, but I patted his head. “You too.” He didn’t look happy at my command but complied it otherwise.

“….stay out of our ways, sister. You protect these traitors, you’ll get the same as them.”

“Why in the Maker’s name do you think we’re traitors?” Alistair asked, with his hands still on the weapons.

The whole tavern was so engrossed in the exchanges between the two groups. Even when I climbed up the table by the platform railing, the drunkards sitting there barely noticed me.

“Teyrn Loghain claims the Grey Wardens betrayed the King, or haven’t you heard?” As Leliana explained, I quietly drew a freezing glyph with my left hand. From the table where I stood, gave me a view from above their heads. And I could estimate how big the glyph would be without hurting everyone else.   

“What?! It was him who left us all to die and ran like a coward!” I hadn’t paid enough attention to be sure if it was Alistair or Cian who shouted back in anger.  

“You dare accuse the Hero of River Dane!?”

Last line of the spell connected and I carefully tugged at The Fade around me. The magic danced along with my arm, as if asking me to pull harder. I had to restrain myself from doing so, remembering the result from overtaxing the mana that it could make my brain explode.

As if she felt the shift in the air, Morrigan’s eyes traveled to my direction. Her dark brow raised in amusement, I replied with a wink. She didn’t smile but the humor in her eyes was obvious. Loosened the grip on her staff, she stepped away from the group quietly. Possibly knowing that I was about to pull something.

Her movement was caught by Leliana, whose eyes swung sharply at my direction. Her hand moved, possibly going for a dagger hidden somewhere under her chantry robe. Whatever she was trying to do, I no longer had time to deal with it. Because Captain Ackley quickly draw his sword and shouted for his subordinates to arrest Alistair and Cian.

I pushed my humming mana into the invisible glyph. The magic flowed along the pathway I had created earlier, the blue light flashed as the spell was activated. Freezing the intended area with ice spell, running up the bodies of everyone inside it, covering the body with icy cold crystalline solid up to his neck. Their weapon hands suspended along with their blades, completely covered in ice.

Both Cian and Leliana jumped back in time before getting frozen over, leaving unfortunate Alistair who had his left leg caught inside the spell along with Captain Ackley and his subordinates.

Mentally clapping at myself for being able to pull Vivien’s entrance from Inquisition—although not perfectly, I dropped down from behind the dark skin captain. Drawing _Starfang_ from its sheath, sliding the sharp edge of my blade to his throat and let the lingering magic danced along the silvery blue metal, adding menacing effect to my sword.

“Hello, Captain. I’ve heard you are looking for lil’ ole me?” I greeted him from behind, the man struggled to turn around but my ice spell held him in place. With him and the other two were being frozen and could no longer swing their weapons around, I turned and waved at the rest of my group. “Yo…”     

“Maker’s breath, Kiara. You almost freeze my ass, too!” Cian protested from where he stood, his Cousland sword gleamed under the firelight resting at the neck of one of the soldier. Marble circled around the newly made popsicles, Cian noticed what his dog was doing and warned. “Marble, do not urinate on them, _yet_.”

Marble snorted a reply and went sniffing Alistair’s frozen leg instead.

“My…uh….behind is not frozen but my leg is.” Alistair murmured from where he was, his ears turned dark red.

“Pardon me, then. Maybe Morrigan can help you while I talk to these gentlemen?” Feeling a little bit bad for him, I forced myself not to laugh at his plight.

Morrigan on the other hand, no longer cared if Alistair was feeling humiliated. She chortled--Yes, _chortled_ , openly at the man. “Do I really have to help this dimwit, Warden? Surely with his Templar ability, he can break out from the spell himself.”

Alistair muttered something under his breathe about crazy mages. I took a pity on him and said to Morrigan. “Please, we wouldn’t want him to shatter his frozen leg trying to smite it. Then we would have to cart him around Ferelden, you know….”

“Fine…..” Morrigan agreed half-heartily and began unfrozen Alistair’s leg by poking it with a tip of her staff.

“Wh…what did you do?!” Captain Ackley was still putting on a brave face and demanded. I ignored him and turned to the red hair sister whom I was sure to be Leliana. Her dagger was no longer hidden, instead pressed to the last soldier’s neck.

“I’m sorry, my companions involved you in this mess, sister.” I apologized politely.

She gave me a civil smile in return but her eyes still watching my movements carefully, nothing less from a former bard. She withdrew blade slowly from the soldier’s neck, clearly saw that my spell already immobilized the opponents. “I was only trying to let these men know not to act hastily.”

The Captain was obviously did not care for our exchange, he interrupted loudly. “In the name of the Regent, I demand explana--”

“You will demand _nothing_.” I swung my eyes back at the taller man and cut off his words with my own. My voice was calm and cold just like the ice spell holding the men in place, surprising even myself. The temperature in the room seemed to drop along with it.  

The fade around me tingling along my skin again. As tempting as it was, I forced myself not to draw from it again. Not wanting a repeated show from earlier with the bandits. The ice glyph was enough magic for this demonstration. So, I pressed _Starfang_ deeper into the man’s exposed neck. “I have no interests in explaining anything to blinded fools. Surrender or I’ll leave you frozen here for the marching horde, the same one you ran away from just a few days ago.”

Ackley gritted his teeth when a thin line of red appeared on his jugular. Sweat beaded his dark forehead, the man took a long minute before speaking again. “F…..Fine. We surrender. Now, let us go!...I mean please, let us go..?” The man revised his statement when red droplet appeared on his skin. 

“Good.” I let _Starfang_ slide away from his neck and wiped away anything that would lead to oxidation off my blade before sheathing it. Cian followed and sheathed his own weapon. Alistair who was now freed from my ice glyph, dusted away any lingering frost from his leg. A sniggering Morrigan not far behind.

When both Alistair and Cian stepped up on each side of me, I spoke again to the frozen men. “You’re going to take a message to Loghain. Tell him—”

“That the Grey Wardens know what really happened!” Cian interrupted before I could finish.

“And that he’ll pay for what’s done! We’re coming for him! And--” Alistair added his own but managed to stop saying anything else when he saw my glare. “…Sorry, please go ahead.”

“My, thank you very much.” I said sarcastically. Seriously, both of them just took the lines I usually picked in-game. Leaving without the usual context, I rubbed my temple while thinking it over.

But what exactly could I say here? It wouldn’t matter anyway because he would still send an assassin after our lives. And that assassin, in turn would become one of our valuable allies.

“I guess, it really doesn’t matter.” I sighed. “Just tell him what they said.”

“Yes. Right away….now, please let us go?” Ackley replied quickly. Sweats pouring from his hairline, one would think he was engulfed by heat instead of frozen solid by ice. It might be because from the fireplace? The location where our altercation took place inside Dane’s Refuge were directly in front of one. I could see already the frosty surface already starting to thaw, just a little bit.  

A long look I gave him and his companions only seemed to bring them more apprehension. Tapping my finger on my lips as I glanced over their frozen state. “To be honest, I have no idea how to undo the glyph.”

“What?!” Ackley and his company shrieked in disbelieve.

“Are you saying you cast the spell not knowing how to undo it?” Even Alistair looked incredulous. Maybe he was still salty about getting caught inside the glyph. 

I shrugged. “Morrigan could--”

“No.” The witch refused immediately.

Cian took a pity on the men and glanced at me with a knowing look. “Can’t you do something?”

“Well, I don’t really have to. Look at this.” I swiped my index finger on the ice surface and covered up Ackley’s armed hand and his sword. Water dripped down my leather glove. “It’s started thawing already. You all will be able to move in an hour or so,…..probably.”

Both Cian and I looked at each other, I guessed ‘probably’ was good enough for us. We shrugged and ignored further complains from Loghain’s men as well as Alistair muttering about irresponsible use of magic.

The noises starting to pick up again once everyone in the tavern realized the disaster had been averted. The minstrel picked up his lute once more and the wailing began anew. Drunken patrons hollered at barmaid for their renewed drinks. No one seemed to pay any more attention to the three frozen figures, despite their yowling.     

“Are you alright, sister?” Cian asked Leliana whom had been standing there and calmly wait for our altercation to resolved with interest.   

She gave Cian a polite smile. “I’m sorry for interfering, but I couldn’t just sit by and not help.”

“I had no idea a _chantry_ sister could be so…nimble.” It appeared that her well-mannered façade hadn’t fool Cian completely.

But the redhead still looked unfazed. “Let me introduce myself. I am Leliana, one of the lay sisters of the chantry here in Lothering. Or I was…”

“You _were_?” Cian narrowed his eyes in suspicious.

“I joined the Chantry to live a life of religious contemplation, but I am no priest, not even an initiate.” She explained. “When I’ve heard about a group of Grey Wardens traveling through this village, I’ve come to find you.”

“And now that you found us, Grey Wardens. What can we do for you?” Alistair asked.

“It’s a Grey Wardens’ duty to destroy the darkspawn, is it not? And I know after what happened at Ostagar, I know you’ll need all the help you can get. So, I am here to offer my assistant in your quest to end the Blight. When your business here in Lothering finished, I wish to come along with you.” Leliana declared as if she was telling us facts like the sky was blue and the sun set in the west.

The words were different from what I usually heard in-game but just like almost of everything else here I’d encountered, the meaning was the same. Keeping my expression neutral, I said. “We’ll need help, that’s true….”

“That, and the Maker told me to.” She replied.

Morrigan guffawed at the remark. Alistair did a slow blink. Marble let out a questioning yip. Cian rubbed the bridge of nose and exhaled. “Can you….elaborate?”

Her fair complexion turned a bit pink as she averted our gaze for the first time. She entwined her fingers together nervously. “I-I know it sounds…absolutely insane. But it’s true! I had a dream…. a vision!”

“More crazy? I thought we were all full up.” Alistair muttered aloud.

But Leliana ignored his verbal jab and continued on with her speech. “Look at the people here. They are lost in their despair, and this darkness, this chaos….will spread. The Maker doesn’t want this.” Her eyes found us again, something akin to determination lit inside her blue-grey eyes. “What you do. What you are _meant_ to do, is the Maker’s work. Let me help!”

“I’m not saying no, yet. But how can a Lay sister help us against the darkspawn?” Cian voiced his thought skeptically.

“As I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t always a sister.” She gave him another one of well-mannered smile. “I used to travel around Thedas as a minstrel, and I’ve picked up a thing or two along the way. I’m not too bad with a bow or a pair of daggers. I also know a bit of poisons and disarming traps.”

“You do know that we might not be killing only the darkspawn?” I added my own thought to the conversation. Even knowing Leliana’s conviction about this matter, it wasn’t for her sake but instead I needed Cian and Alistair to know of it as well. “And since no one is funding our expedition—because I am sure the Grey Warden’s office in Denerim was raided by the Teyrn’s men already. So we’ll probably ending up taking odd jobs for money. We’d be killing bandits, cultists--”  

“Cultists?” Alistair caught on but I ignored him.

“--, wolves, bears--”

“We are killing bears, too?” Cian raised an eyebrow for that. I also ignored him.

“--, my point is that we will possibly be doing a lot of morally questionable things aside from killing darkspawn. If you are alright with--”

“Yes.” Leliana simply said.

Glancing over at Cian, who shrugged in reply. I turned back to Leliana and held out my hand. “Very well, Leliana. We accept your offer.”

“Thank you! I appreciate being given this chance. I will not let you down.” She grabbed my hand with both of hers and shook it enthusiastically for a few minutes. The joints in my arm was about to pretest when Leliana suddenly let go. “I’ve already obtained permission from the Revered Mother but I’ll need to gather my belongings. It will not take long.”

“Maybe we can meet again before the sun at the Chanter’s board. That should be enough time for you, yes?” I suggested.

Leliana agreed before excused herself and departed from the tavern.  

Morrigan said thoughtfully while giving me a sideway glance. “Perhaps, your skull was cracked worse than Mother thought.”

Alistair nodded in agreement. Cian hadn’t made a comment about my decision with Leliana. When the time to recruit Sten or Zevran came, I’d hoped that he would also go along with it as well.

A loud bark broke my train of thought and a blur of black mass barreling into my side, I staggered sideway to the dirty floor before something wet swept across my face.

I grunted and pushed Bunny off me. The mabari panted happily and licked my face one last time before bounded off to sniff at Marble, the two mabari conversed in whatever way dogs communicated.   

Cian laughed while helping me get up from the floor. Alistair offered his kerchief to clean my face, I was about to decline after noticing several brown smudges on the fabric when Carver barreling down the platform with my backpack and unfinished mug of drink.

“You didn’t tell me you are a mage! Whoa!!” His face looked somewhat purple as he rushed to where I was. Both Cian and Alistair reached for their weapons in reflex.

“Calm down, guys. This is Carver Hawke, one of my _supposed_ cousins.” I lifted my hand to halt my party members.

“You actually found them?” Cian looked astounded, slowly put away his weapons. I took my pack from a widened-eyes Carver and looked for my own kerchief, noticing that he had stuck my newly bought bottle of spirit inside as well. After a few rummages, the cloth was in my hand and my face was wiped clean of Bunny’s drool.

“Yeah. I sorted of run into them.” Put away the cloth and hoisted up my pack, I explained the situation to the rest of the group. “Carver’s older sister went to ask her mother if we could stay at their home while we are in Lothering…”

“That would be great, at least we won’t have to find a place to sleep at the refugee camp.” Alistair nodded and turned to the younger man, patting his forearm in earnest. “Thanks for letting us stay at your place!”

“Well…she hasn’t agreed to it, yet…” Carver murmured back his response bashfully at first but snapped his head back to me when he recalled his earlier question. “You still haven’t told me the reason why you haven’t said that you are a mage!”

“Because, you haven’t asked?” Taking my half-finished mug from his hand, I chugged the lukewarm drink before putting the empty down on the nearby table. Seeing his unsatisfied face, I patted him gently on the arm. “Don’t worry, the Templars here are too busy with the refugees than hunting for any apostates. Your sisters are safe for now….”

“How do you--”

Ignoring whatever it was he had wanted to say or asked about how I knew his family secret, I turned to Cian instead. “Are these the junks those bandits left behind?”

“Yes. Mostly, there are weapons and some travelling clothes though.” My fellow Warden nodded toward the sacks that both mabari were somewhat guarding.

Moving myself to the two abandoned sacks that my party had brought with them, when they saw me approaching the two mabari bounced away to sniff the frozen Loghain’s men. I opened and inspected inside. The first one was filled with knives, daggers, a few short swords and two unstring bows. The second bag occupied with trinkets with some values and decent quality clothes.

“We are not lack in weapons, so maybe we can find a smith and sell or trade these for some supplies. The same goes with the trinkets.” Looking around the packed tavern, I noticed some of the customers were still watching us with too much interests in their eyes. Maybe, it was high time to get out of here. So, I tied the sacks closed. Alistair took it as his cue to pick one up and Cian did the other.

Our group moved forward to the door, with Morrigan glided away in the lead. Followed by two men carrying the sack.

Grabbing a still confused Carver by his forearm and I pulling him with us. “You probably know a few blacksmiths here in Lothering, right?....Let’s go find them!”

“But, we still have to wait for my sister!” His mouth protested but his body didn’t resist moving along.

“This town is not that big, I’m sure she can find--” I didn’t have time to finish what I had wanted to say because Danal the bartender started yelling at us, following by anguish cries.

“Oi! Tell your dogs to stop doing that!!” 

Cian who was already out the door came back in again after hearing that. I turned to see what the two ruffians had done. But the two mabari clearly had finished what they’d started and bounded away and out of the door from Loghain’s men. Leaving only a pool of yellow liquid splattering all over ice-covered feet of Captain Ackley and his two subordinates who cried in frustration.

It seemed that Marble and Bunny had just activated their Mabari Dominance.

 

* * *

**CIAN**

How could this woman find her distant relatives she’d never met in a trading post town, Cian had no idea.

Even with a full explanation she had given them after the Bartender had kicked them all out from the Tavern—because their mabari thought it was okay to urinated on those men, the story of her basically running into the eldest Hawke sibling by chance sounded like something out of those novels Oriana used to read. His late Antivan sister-in-law would simply romantized it to be Fate.

His doubts almost evaporated the instance a tall dark hair woman rushing to them where they had been standing on the front porch outside of the tavern, following by an older woman behind her.

And that moment when the older lady and Kiara came face to face, it was obvious to him they were somehow related. The shade of the woman’s blond hair that even mixing with grey, was noticeably the same as Kiara’s. The shape of their jaws, their noses and their eyes were also so much alike as if they were casted in the same mold.

“When my Livia told me, I couldn’t believe it. Dear Maker!, but you look just like Revka.” The older woman whom Cian was sure to be Carver’s and the tall woman’s mother, started tearing up as she reached for his Warden friend. Her aged hand trembled as she beaconed Kiara to come closer.

But His friend had an unreadable look on her face, her blue eyes glazed over for a second. Before the older woman could touch her, her body went stiff, it was clear to anyone who had eyes that she was trying hard not to flinch away. Mistress Hawke appeared to notice this odd reaction as well, as she let her hand fell away.

“Miss Leandra…I…” Kiara looked like she had swallowed a block of log when she spoke.

“Please, call me Aunt Leandra.” The woman said gently, clearly didn’t take offend from his friend’s reaction.

“A…Aunt Leandra….” Kiara’s voice was barely a whisper. But it was enough.

Then, Leandra Hawke broke down and cried with her whole body. Both her children rushed in on each side to help keeping their mother standing. Cian noticed that his friend clenched her fists, her body went rigid even more. Something akin to sorrow pass over her face before the blank mask was pulled down over her expression again.

Mistress Hawke might be crying the tears of joy, but Kiara definitely wasn’t. And Cian hadn’t understood why.

If he was given a chance to find his brother again….or even anyone from Cousland Castle, he would be beside himself in happiness.   

A few awkward minutes stretched by, Kiara had kept her eyes on the ground. Alistair stared at her with worried look on his face, plainly wanted to say something. Morrigan only watched them with quiet eyes. The siblings finally successfully consoled their mother. Leandra wiped away the remaining tears with a kerchief offered from her son.

“I’m so sorry for being such a mess. It has been so long, since I’ve look at another Amell in the eyes….for so long…” Another tear drop slid down her cheek. She sniffed through the cloth again. “What’s your name, child?”

“Kiara. Kiara Amell.” She replied with a flat tone.

“Then, you are probably Revka’s second child.” Leandra said thoughtfully. “She had four children, The oldest and the third child are boys. And you look old enough to be the right age.”

Kiara, even with her body still stiffened moved a little closer to her new-found relatives. “We’ve just met less than five minutes but you believe me that I’m related to you without any proof?”

It was a fair question, Cian had thought. If anyone had showed up at his parent’s keep and declared that they were related without any evident, they wouldn’t have fared well in the end.

But Leandra just shook her head with a teary smile. Her hand reached unconsciously to Kiara again as if she couldn’t help it. At least this time his friend didn’t act like she was bracing for a blow to be delivered. Leandra’s fingers touched a lock of ash blonde hair hanging off Kiara’s shoulder.

“Your hair….” Cian heard her say as she let the strands slid through between her fingers. “This shade of color is one of Amell Family traits. My own father and his brother—Uncle Fausten had the same hair. When I was younger and when your Mother—Revka was still alive. Our hair was the exact color.”

“My Mother….she is dead?” Her breathing gave a slight hitch but her voice was still flat as if she was just asking a stranger for a direction.

That question took everyone by surprise, Leandra’s hand fell away from his friend again. Eyes widened at the query. “You didn’t know?...I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Kiara said quietly. “Living at The Circle Tower can sometimes be very isolated. Letters can also be lost. It’s been years since I’ve heard from them. I should have expected it….”

“What?…is the circle that bad?” Eldest Hawke sibling asked. “They wouldn’t even inform you if your family is dead?”

“And then what?...Informing an apprentice who hadn’t pass their harrowing and wasn’t allowed to travel outside about a death in the family would only tempting them to escape the Tower. The Templars would never have allowed that.”  

No. No one should have expected anything like that about their own family. Cian thought to himself.

And then there was the lack of emotion from his friend that bothered him so. There was no distress or even sadness in her voice, there was only a brief moment of surprise flicked pass her eyes but then it was gone the second he blinked.

If it was him, getting a news of death in the family would definitely bring him pain. No matter how closed they were to him. As his father and mother had taught him to always held family closed to his heart. He would be saddened, he would grief and then he would mourn them, praying for their souls to be with the Maker.

But Cian was not Kiara. And she was not him. She had grown up in a tower built in the middle of a lake, where many children like her were separated from their families and thrown in together to be raised under scrutinized of the Templars.

He had wondered what kind of lessons she was taught there, what doctrine they made her followed along. What made her character become like this? Had she really feel nothing, or the mask she had constructed to hide behind was simply too solid for him to see through?

His thought strayed to his missing brother—Fergus. What reactions would he have when Cian told him about his dead wife and son? Would he cried out in anguish and cursed at the world, would he blame Cian for not protecting them or would Fergus become a cold stone like Kiara had done instead?    

So, maybe her reaction at the whole thing was bizarre to him and everyone else and that he should be concerned about it.

It was obvious that there were some kinds of history there. A dynamic within Amell family that he had no idea about. And looking at Kiara and the Hawkes at this moment after putting himself in their shoes, he would have wanted for this unexpected reunion to be in private.

That was why Cian picked up the sack from the floor again, he whistled for the two mabari to follow him and he led both Alistair and Morrigan away from the four of them.

Kiara, of course noticed the movement and opened her mouth to say something. He just waved his hand and told her. “We will go ahead to check out the Chanter’s board. Take your time. It’s not every day you accidentally find your family again.”

 _Be glad that you found them. Be happy._ He screamed in his own mind.

Because as much as Cian had wanted it to be himself that found his brother, it was Kiara that had found her cousins instead. 

She looked at him for a long minute, Cian believed it was an understanding that flickered in her eyes. Because, she gave him a nod and let him walk away.

 

* * *

  **A/N:** Even though, I’ve said that Lothering wouldn’t be long, it turned out not to be true when I actually sat down and wrote it. So, I could fit only Leliana’s recruitment in this chapter without it becoming way too long. But do not worry, Sten’s part is coming up as well as more Hawke’s time. Since they were originally supposed to be one long chapter.  

I will try to keep the next update within the month. But since I’ve fallen back into Touken Ranbu Hell(or Sword Boys Hell). Anyone who knows this game will know how repetitive the level grinding is for this game but it was all worth it for my sword boys. At least I can do it while writing. ;)

Also, for anyone who want to know about my progress on the chapter, I always keep update on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/astachan14). come say hi! I won’t bite XD    


	9. One Foot Out the Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wardens slap more bandits, meet a Qunari and then party with Hawkes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a while since my last update. I haven’t forgot this! Last year of university is just kicking my butt. But not to worry, I’m still writing this one, I have a big plan for it after all ;) 
> 
> Warning: Blood and gore, butchering of Qunlat, inaccurate narrative of military operation, unbeta as per usual.

**Chapter 9:: One Foot Out the Door.**

A world of grief and pain,  
but the flowers bloom  
even then    
               - Kobayashi Issa

 

* * *

 

  **CIAN**

Alistair made a comment about how dedicated the Chantry was for keeping the Chanter’s board operating when Cian picked up the job offer from the board, meanwhile Morrigan muttering snidely about running errand for betterment of mankind for a few coppers. But to his astonishment, both of them hadn’t refused to do it outright. Marble and Bunny were nearby chasing each other.      

The chill air of the end of winter becoming early spring still lingered even under the warm afternoon sun. While several trees still stood leafless but there were many that had just started budding new leaves and tiny flowers.   

The scenery had him lamenting the situations for a moment. The fact that this town would possibly be overrun by the horde soon, these people, the land and these trees would be destroyed and infected with Blight sickness. And from what he was taught in History Lesson, it would always take decades before they would recover again.

The seriousness of the situation had suddenly grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him almost violently.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t comprehended the dreadful truth from the start, but only now he could truly feel how much this burden weighted on the three of them.

Cian glanced over at Alistair who was asking Morrigan about her mother.

The blond man was the most senior out of the three of them, yet he had refused—no, ‘refused’ would not be the right word. More like, he hadn’t stepped up to lead their group and seemingly satisfied with following around a newly joined Warden—and a girl. Alistair clearly had some troubles adjusting to the ways Kiara seemed to like doing things. Even though he was certainly not shy about voicing his own mind.  

Maybe it was because Kiara, herself wasn’t entirely unreasonable. On the contrary, many decisions she had decided on were pretty logical after a little bit of contemplation.

“Finally, there they are.” Alistair’s voice brought his train of thoughts to a stop. Cian looked up and saw his friend and her new cousin walking down the milling street toward them, carrying on a quiet conversation as they moved closer to the spot Cian and his group were standing. 

The two dogs bounced forward to greet the newcomers. To his surprise, Marble sniffed at Hawke’s offering hand and accepted a treat from her easily. She tossed both dogs a few more snacks until Kiara said something about turning their war dogs into pigs, her cousin waved dismissively but complied to her request to stop feeding.   

“This is Livia Hawke. She’s going to take us to places we need to go for the supplies.” Kiara introduced her new-found cousin when they finally reached where they had been waiting.

“Nice to meet you all. Please call me Hawke, I know it’s weird but everyone just calls me that.” Hawke waved and gave them a bright smile. All of the sudden he felt almost like the sun just shone directly in his eyes, he forced himself not to squint his eyes from a wide imagination. Everyone greeted her back nicely, even Morrigan.

“That is a nice staff you are carrying.” The witch observed curiously, making Cian noticed that as well. The wooden staff looked like they were carved from the same log into entwined shapes, there were no gem or metal decoration but the surface had clearly been polished with care.

Alistair sliced his gaze toward it as well, his eyes narrowed, his mouth opened to say something but after a few second he closed it and looked away. Cian eyed the staff with raised eyebrow, Kiara only smirked back at him as a reply. An urge to cover his face with his palms and sighed was very overwhelming.

“Ah. Thank you. It belonged to my late father.” Hawke smiled with her whole face but didn’t give any more details about it, a silent tell for them not to inquire anymore. The tall woman then proceeded to explain that her mother and brother had gone back home to prepare the house for their visit as well as letting their youngest sister know about the latest development.  

“We picked up a job from the Chanter’s board while we were waiting for you. That will get us some extra coins. But I think we should get rid of these weapons first.” Cian told his friend who nodded back a reply.

“There should be a blacksmith shop in this town, right?” Kiara asked her cousin.

“There’s Harritt. He’s the only smith here that hasn’t left the village.” Hawke said. “His shop is not far from the main square.”

And so, they set out down the street milling with refugees. People gave them caution looks and parted away as they moved along the street. Hawke and Kiara in the lead, talking animatedly about the shops that still opened. Metal cranking inside the sack Alistair was carrying as he walked next to Cian. Marble and Bunny—ugh. What a disgraceful name for a war dog, trotted on each side of us. Morrigan quietly following behind.

No less than ten minutes, they came to a stop at an opened blacksmith shop. Cian spotted weapon racks of various sizes, both lining up the wall behind the counter and standing on the floor, although most of them looked rather empty. A man with thinning red hair and thick mustache was yelling at his workers to hurry with their appointed tasks accompanied by hammers strike down against the anvils. Heat rolled off from the hot forge. There was no one at the attendant counter.   

“Hey, Harritt! I’ve brought you some customers!” Hawke shouted to get the man’s attention. It took her a few tries before the blacksmith finally turned around. 

“What?! Oh, it’s you, Hawke.” Harritt walked out from the forge. The man swiped sweats of his forehead as he scrutinized his little group. “I’ve heard your brother came back just a few days ago. Good thing he survives. Tell him if he want some extra coins, come help me out again. We need some healthy youngsters to go get some more ore. I’m running out of them fast.”

“I’ll let him know. But enough about that. I’ve brought you some customers!” Hawke presented their group with infectious enthusiasm.

Instead of brimming with smile, Harritt the Blacksmith looked like someone just threw him rotten eggs at his head. 

“Are you blind, girl!?” The man almost screamed his answer, it was loud enough to get all his workers’ attention. When he realized the hammers were no longer hitting the metal, he turned around and gave them a death glare that automatically sent them back to whatever they were doing earlier.

The red hair man swung his attention back around, fists on his hip. “Do you not see the state of my shop, girl?” He waved his hand wildly for them to look around. “Almost every Maker’s forsaken souls passing through this town come to my shop and want all kind of weapons because the world is going to the void. They bought my swords, my daggers, my bows when everything is almost gone they _ordered_ me to make more! And now I’m about to be out of ore!”

“Ehh?....I thought you would appreciated with good busine--”

“Good Business? PAH! Good business is when my customers come to my shop without threatening to burn it down because I had nothing left to sell or no materials to make anything new!” Harritt continued to rant. “All of them, poured their coins on me as if it would help when I have nothing to make the weapons out of! And when I declined their requests they threatened to burn my shop down! I haven’t slept in three days trying to finish all these orders! Don’t they know that ore do not grow on trees!--”

Cian watched him in sympathy, who would have thought that people passing through would desperately needed weapons—but in some senses, it kind of did. Chaos was spreading, just like Leliana had said. The darkspawn wasn’t an only threat people of Ferelden would be facing. It seemed Teyrn Loghain’s action had also stirred the unrest among the land just as much. Wanting weapons to protect themselves was a plausible explanation.   

Kiara and Hawke eyed each other before the latter shrugged. Then Kiara proceeded to take the sack Alistair had carried and dumbed it in front of the Blacksmith. The sound of cranking metals inside the bag was loud enough for him to stop his outburst and eyed the source of the noise.

“We don’t want to buy weapons from you. We just want to trade these.” Cian heard Kiara say as she opened the sack.

“Hmm…what’s that?....” The man raised his eyebrows and leaned forward over the opened bag.

Harritt blinked a few times before his eyes widened, his mouth opened in O shape as his hand reached down inside the sack and pulled out one of the long sword. “This is….this is dwarven crafted! Look at the thickness of the blade as the hilt!” He carefully set the sword down on nearby work table and moved closer to the bag for better inspection.

He pulled out another weapon, this time a dagger. The man’s face beamed in delight. “This is Antivan style dagger! You see this leaf-shape blade? Hmm…but the metal seemed to be standard Ferelden iron….Ahh!! An old style Ferelden bow!! This is what that traveler yesterday had ordered!--”

And the man pulled out the next weapon, then the next and so on while labeling each on their possible origins, until the last was set on the table. Harritt wiped his face with his sleeve, Cian noticed that his eyes reddened—was the man crying?

“So, how about it? Shall we talk business, now?” Kiara asked.

“As long as you do not order any weapon from me…” Harritt nodded eagerly.

And so, they traded. Harritt was more than happy to part with his coins in exchange of the weapons they had offered. The amount hadn’t made them rich or anything but it was enough to procure other supplies they would be needing. The smith also threw in weapon care kits as bonus when Kiara mentioned that if she happened to stumble upon for weapons while staying in Lothering, they would be back to trade again.

Once the business was concluded, they set out onward to the outskirt of Lothering. From the Chanter’s board request, it said that the bandits had infested the woods there, so far they had robbed and killed both travelers and villagers, stole livestock and burglarized a few farms. The templar in charge of Lothering Chantry was the one who posted the request. It seemed their resources were also stretching thin just like everyone else.

It wasn’t long before they came upon the first camp. The bandits had moved into an abandoned farmhouse by the edge of the forest. Before their lookout could send any alert, Cian let his dagger flew and embedded it in the man’s throat. He gurgled blood and fell forward from a makeshift outpost at the farm entrance. Perhaps, it was they were taken by surprised, the first group was quickly dispatched.

Afterward, they all helped carrying dead bodies of the bandits and set them side by side in a row. As proof that they had indeed finished the job. Cian would have wanted to just burn the bodies, but Kiara said to leave that business to the Templars later.  

The second group turned out to be not as easy but only because they saw his group approaching. So, both side cried out and clashing into each other. Cian sliced his foes while he dodged and jumped, blood soaked his blades. Marble and Bunny tore into the enemies’ legs and arms. Alistair bashed them with his shield until they staggered and lost balance. Morrigan stood a part as she weaved her spells, sending fog and mist to entrap her attackers, blinding and made them vulnerable before Kiara swung her glittering sword, sending them back to the Maker. Hawke twirled her staff, sending shockwave of electricity, catching the enemies in its wake—confirming everyone’s suspicion that she was also a mage.

When all opponents were down, they proceeded in laying down the bodies just like they had done with the farmhouse. Once all were accounted for, the dogs took lookout positions—Marble on the south side and Bunny on the west. Alistair climbed the rise and took north position. Leaving the rest of the mages with Cian. Kiara cleaned her blade then did a walk-through of what was left of the small camp and discovered a map left laying on one of the bedroll.

“This’s possibly a map of this forest.” Hawked said after Kiara had spread out the paper for everyone to see. She pointed with her fingers at the circle marks on hand-draw map. “See the locations? The first mark is near the edge of the woods. Then second one, west of the first and by the foot of the rise…”

“So the last camp is somewhere north from here, is this a river?…I don’t remember any river running through these landscape.” Cian observed and point at the waving lines on the drawing.

Hawke shook her head. “No, just a large stream, this is the main water resource of Lothering.”

“Hmm…make sense that they would set up by the water source. From the numbers of them we had encountered so far, I believe this must be their main camp.” Kiara paused for a long minute before looked up at Cian. “How’s your scouting?”

“It’s alright, I supposed. Why…Oh. You want me to scout the enemies’ fortification?”

“If they even had one, yeah. Since, our group only have one warrior and one rouge, it’s better safe than sorry.” She folded the map and handed it to him.

He nodded a reply and left silently in order to do what was needed.

“What do you mean, you are not a warrior?” He could hear Hawke’s voice asking Kiara just before he slipped between the trees. He had no idea what answers his friend would give her cousin since he had picked up his pace and raced northward.

Trees in these woods seemed to be blooming faster than the ones in town. Here, branches and leaves spread over Cian’s head like a roof as he moved quietly through the forests. Its rustling sounds provided cover for any noise he had made and the afternoon shade wrapped him like protective cloak, helping concealed his presence.  

When he came close enough to hear the water, Cian jumped up and climbed the nearest tree that looked sturdy to hold his weight. He might not have brute strength like his brother but Cian was confident in his agility. Climbing trees was one of his favorite hobby when he was young and when he had grown more mature, Cian had adapted it for the use of scouting the area.

He jumped from branch to branch to the next tree. Carefully moving forward without much sound. It wasn’t long until he came close to the clearing and the makeshift fort by the stream. From what he observed it was built from woods, crudely and inelegant, clearly a work of an unprofessional who knew nothing of building a secured encampment, too many entrances. There were lookout towers from within, nor outpost on the outside. Only two guards, stood chatting at the front gate. Smoke floated from a camp fire sitting in the middle of it, accompanied by smell of burning meats. Several bedrolls scattered on one side and racks of weapons on the other. Bodies moving around inside. Cian did a quick head count—twice, just to be on the safe side before slipped away without anyone noticing just like the way he came.

“That was quick.” Alistair said once he reached the spot where his friends awaited.

“How does it look?” Kiara asked. He then proceeded to relay the landscape of the camp and number of bodies within it, including details on their badly built fort.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting much to be honest. They are bandits, after all. But as I said, better safe than sorry.” Kiara shrugged after he finished talking. “From what you said, they don’t have any lookouts around the camp, nor do they guard every camp entrances, they are either very sloppy or too arrogant and think that no one would be coming for them…I also don’t think they have any idea about their dead friends yet.” She pointed her thumb at the dead bodies. “So, we should get this done fast.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Their huddle lasted only a few minutes consisting of Kiara giving specific jobs to everyone. Alistair and Marble will go make noises to get their attention at the front gate. Morrigan would provide covers for everyone with her mist or/and sleep spells from outside the camp. Cian and Hawke would take side entrance together and Kiara and Bunny would cut down anyone trying to escape the back door.

Their numbers were in disadvantage, but Kiara pointed out that Morrigan’s spells would help created _illusion_ —not literal but a sense of one, that would lead their enemies to believe that they were surrounded and had no way to escape, leading them to be too panic to react.

He noticed Alistair’s discomfort expression while hearing the plan, if Cian had to guess Alistair would prefer to just stomp the fort with sword and shield and loud war cry, he would have wanted to fight fair—against bandits or not. But the man said nothing, he nodded his agreement in silent as he took Cian’s mabari with him once the plan was heard.

“I can barely believe that she’s even a mage herself, the way she swung that pretty sword. But mother’s right, Amell’s blood is thick with Magic. I wonder, what kind of things they’d taught my cousin in that tower.” He heard Hawke said quietly from where she crouched next to him behind the bushes, waiting for everyone to get into position. “To come up with such a plan within minutes…. If she wasn’t my cousin, I’d say that she’s a little intimidating.”

“Yeah.” He replied. Cian had wondered about that, too. Maybe they just had a really big library full of many different types of books and tomes, maybe that was where his fellow Warden had learned strategies like that.

But time was essential. So, both Hawke and himself focused on the task at hand instead.

It didn’t take long when they heard a loud commotion, someone (most likely Alistair) shouted, a dog (Definitely Marble) barking, sound of steels twanging against one another and soon after loud grunts and thudding sound of bodies falling on the ground. Cian glanced over at the spot Morrigan was hiding, behind the large tree her staff twirled and hands moving, already weaving the designated spells.

Dark cloud appeared above the makeshift fort, within minutes it descended upon the unsuspecting occupants inside and became dark mist surrounding the area, signaling him and Hawke to move.

Both of them sprinted toward the side gate. By the time his boot connected with the wooden panel kicking it opened, sound of people yelling in surprise could be heard as well as metal and metal crashing against each other. Cian felt Hawke moved further away from him but not too far from the gate they had crashed into, without a sound she swung her own staff at the first opponent she spotted.

A body raced blindly toward his position, Cian dropped low and swung out his dagger in horizontal arch, cutting the man at his hamstrings. Blood gushed out with a painful shout. His foe dropped to the ground, his eyes widened when he realized where the attack had come from but too late to react when Cian’s dagger embedded in his throat, ending the life swiftly. He didn’t wait and attack another enemy with the same method.

Cian stayed low and kept close to the ground. Morrigan’s spell obscured not just enemies’ visions but their own as well. Even with Alistair’s constant yelling, beaconing the enemies to rush at him together with Marble, the battle was still a challenging one. Another set of barks and growls could be heard not too far from where he stood, it seemed Bunny was also hard at work. At the corner of his eyes where Hawke was supposed to be, a lightning spark from one the mage’s spell flashed among the dark mist for a few seconds it was like the mist had disappeared and he could see clearly again.

Not far from him he could Kiara sliced her dagger across a man’s throat from behind, no emotion could be seen on her face. She didn’t wait for her dead target to completely hit the ground before swung the same blood coated knife at a next body. Her movements and cuts precise and controlled. It was only a few seconds of seeing her before Morrigan’s mist obscured his vision again, but It was still a little terrifying, to be honest.

A whoosh went pass his ears by an inch, alerting him that the battle was far from over. Cian lifted his dagger to parry the next blow and sliced out the other to slash at his current opponent. And silently cursing himself for spacing out during combat, one of many reasons a man could lose his head in a fight. His foe yelped in pain from the cut he had delivered but his killing blow was snatched away when a blur of black shot passed his left. Kiara’s mabari; Bunny had jumped in and torn out his opponent’s jugular.

Cian’s felt his eyes twitched when the man’s blood splattered across his face.

“Oi! That was my kill, you blighted mutt!” He grunted his displeasure only to have dog ignored him. But not before he saw the mutt gave him a side-eye and doggy smirk; one Cian swore he could only picked it up because he a mabari of his own.

As exasperate as he felt, there were more bandits to deal with for the moment. So, Cian postponed the need to give her blighted dog a piece of his mind later when the job was done.

 

* * *

“Your dog is the evil!” Cian gritted as he washed the blood and dirt of his face by the stream. Kiara raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth twitched a little telling him she was holding in a smirk.

Bunny didn’t take too well of being yelled at--for stealing a kill, by anyone, even Cian. The war hound decided to retaliate afterward when the battle almost over and Morrigan mist began to dissipate by kicking dirt in Cian’s face full of dust using his hind leg.   

“And your dog is a glutton…so, your point?” She replied casually as she once again cleaned her recently used daggers and knives—to his surprised, her shimmering blade was sheathed the whole time. Her black mabari sat vigilantly by her legs, licking himself clean from gore and blood with no care in the world.

Cian eyed Marble who rummaged the bandits’ food storage for something edible and sighed. He had no argument when it came to his dog being a gourmand. A snort came of Morrigan’s direction. The witch of the wilds was sitting primly by the distinguished firepit, wiping her own staff of the blood with wet cloth.

Once the fight had ended, they did the same with the bodies as the previous camps with additional of covering them with blankets they could find from within the camp itself so that none of them had to stare at the gory states of the deaths while waiting before Alistair and Hawke went off to inform the templars of them succeeding in getting rid of the pestering bandits. They couldn’t leave the sites yet until the poster had been notified and rewards claimed; Hawke had said if they just left without doing so, someone else could take credit for it. It didn’t happen often, but times are tough these days, every little coin could spark a fight to death and people fleeing from the blight were sure desperate enough as were.

It took a while for his companions to come back by the time Alistair and Hawke reappeared with several templars in tow, Cian and Kiara had finished cleaning up both their weapons and their clothes. He was tossing Marble more dried meat while Kiara gathered the discarded weapons—possibly to collect and sell them at the blacksmith again.

“Maker’s breath! You are not kidding about clearing them out, Hawke!” The templar with dark skin said in astonishing tone as he and his fellow templars eyed the deaths lined up on the ground.

“Everyone, this is Ser Bryant, he commands the Templars from Lothering’s chantry.” The tall woman smiled as she introduced the man. Alistair walked over to Kiara and helped out with her task of raiding the weapons. “And didn’t I tell you that my cousin and her companions are very competent.”

“I cannot argue about that when the results are better than I could have hope for.” Ser Bryant agreed and gave instructions to his templars about the dead bodies, no doubt about bringing in a priest to send off the souls to the maker before cremation when one went off toward the town again and one stayed. Cian hadn’t missed the lingering look the man gave Kiara who was still throwing weapons into a sack before sliding his eyes to Morrigan who sat quietly between the two hounds.

“Here is the reward.” He handed Hawke a small coin pouch, the woman thanked him in return. “If you do not mind me asking, why is your cousin collecting the bandits’ weapon?”

Hawke opened her mouth, but no words came out as if she had no explanation of what was going on. “…..uhh….”

“For coins, of course. Harritt the blacksmith said he would buy any usable weapons we’re willing to sell.” Kiara answered for her from where she stood, drawing the templar’s attention back to the blond. She checked a string of the bow she had just picked up, testing if they were still in good condition. “Since these are clearly no use for you templars, we might as well make use of them.”

“I gathered as much but why would Grey Wardens in need of coins, then?”

A sense of apprehension hung in the air from the templar’s words. Both Alistair and Cian swung their eyes to Ser Bryant. Hawke blinked. Morrigan pretended she hadn’t been paying attention but her tensed posture suggested otherwise, the two hounds growled softly at a potential threat. Kiara’s fingers paused a fraction as she turned fully to face the dark skin man.

“Everyone is in need of coins these days, Ser Templar. Even a Grey Warden or three. There’re foods to buy and supplies to purchase. We can’t do that without proper currency.” She replied casually. Cian had no idea why would she admitted to the statement when they knew fully well that Loghain had already sent out soldiers to arrest them.

“You do know that the Regent had bounty on your captures, Warden?” Ser Bryant frowned at Kiara’s blatant disregard of the situation.

“From a scuffle in the bar today, I’d thought as much.” His fellow warden shrugged and trusted the already inspected bow toward Alistair, signaling him to add it to the ever-growing sack.

“And what will you do about it?” Ser Bryant asked, befuddled expression on his face. Cian couldn’t tell of the man was baffled or amused by his fellow warden’s reaction.

“I think, you’re asking the wrong question here.” Kiara paused before bent down and picked up a dagger, she unsheathed and inspected the blade condition before sending it toward an Awaiting Alistair. “I believe, the correct question would be, _what will you do about this information_ , Ser Bryant?”

Kiara’s words hung in the air like a chill wind of winter, everyone’s postures went almost rigid from those seemingly challenging words. Well, everyone except the woman herself, his fellow warden continued to ignore the tension in the air and kept shoving more daggers and knives into the bag.

After an uncomfortable silence, the dark skin man sighed—whether from relief or resignation Cian couldn’t tell, and held up his hands. “Do not worry, Warden. I am neither ungrateful nor foolhardy enough to report someone who cleaned out the lingering pest problem for us, even you didn’t do it for free. As long as you do not cause any disturbance in the village, I have no bone to pick with you or your group.” 

Cian didn’t know what to feel from the man’s matter-of-fact tone had used, before he could keep his mouth close and leave the matter be he heard himself spoke. “How can you even tell that we are Grey Wardens?”

“Short of the colors and insignia on your armors, you mean?” Ser Bryant raised a brow at his obvious inquiry. From where he stood, Cian could almost feel see Kiara rolled her eyes from it as well.

“Yeah, aside from those.” He shrugged it off.

“The descriptions of your likeness were handed out by the Teyrn’s men, of course.”

“But why keep quiet about us, though? Won’t you get in trouble for it?” Cian asked with a frown.

“Because I don’t like what had been going on as of late. Those Regent-appointed officers had _indelicately_ informed me of my first priority was to capture the escaped grey wardens instead of evacuating the village and our chantry from darkspawn hoard, just because The Regent had _demanded_ it.” The Templar-in-charge clearly did not hide his distaste for Captain Ackley and his company. And from the expression Ser Bryant currently displayed, Cian had no doubt that those soldiers also went and harassed the templars for information before their encounter with Kiara and his group at the tavern.

But it seemed wasn’t the only reason that had displeasured Ser templar, because the corners of the man’s mouth pulled down in disgust as he continued. “Hero of River Dane or not, to demand all the Banns and their troops to abandon their lands in time like this is just….a despicable thing to do. I care not for his accusation on the Grey Wardens being traitors and sided with the darkspawn in order to destroy Ferelden. Only a delusional man would ever believe such contradicting statement!”

“You would be surprise just how many are willingly following him.” Kiara said as she stepped closer to where the templars stood, her task of raiding weapons was done it seemed. She crossed her arms and continued, her voice chilled with a hint of disgust, her eyes gaze down coldly at the blanket-covered bodies of the bandits. “…Some did so out of fear of uncertainty, some just see this as an opportunity to gain something in the midst of disorder and some just do it out of malice. That alone already fractured Ferelden into factions as a result. Whilst I cannot claim to know the Teyrn’s true intents, the fact still stands that the darkspawn will march upon us while the ruling classes are busy fighting over a piece of land or title, their people are suffering from war. I doubt there will be anything left for them to rule once the Blight had devoured both the land and its people.”

Kiara had a distant look in her eyes that reminded him of a time when they had arrived at Ostagar Gate and had countered his opinions about Orlesian Wardens. While the wisdom was undeniable, it still left his heart disquiet. A solemn air hung heavily around them. The weight of Kiara’s words seemed to press down not only Ser Bryant and his templar but as well as her own companion and cousin. The reality of the devastation was imminent painted even a murkier picture for everyone, even Morrigan who pretending not to look worry anything.

“I can’t believe the Teyrn would declare us traitors to the crown when we are the only one who can end the blight!” Alistair finally spoke for the first time since he arrived back with the templars. His face furrowed, a flame of anger burning behind his ever-changing hazel eyes. “It’s like the man had lost his mind. I don’t know how Arl Eamon let it get this far, he should have called the Landsmeet for Loghain’s unreasonable retreat alone! The king was his nephew for Maker’s sake!”

Cian had to agree with his fellow warden. Loghain’s action at Ostagar alone should have warrant enough suspicious to the Guerrins to call for an addressing already.

“I’ve heard from one of his knight that the Arl of Redcliffe had fallen ill.” Ser Bryant said gravely.

Both Cian and Alistair’s eyes went widened. “What?!”

The Templar nodded. “There was a knight from Redcliffe here a few days ago…what’s his name, again?”

“I believe his name’s Ser Donall, ser.” One of his templars offered.

“Yes, him. He claimed that he was here to pay respect to the Revered Mother and asked her permission for the use of her Library.” Ser Bryant nodded but then frowned. “Apparently, the Arl had fallen sick from an incurable cause. This led to the Arlessa’s believing only Andraste’s sacred ashes can cure him, and so she sent out her knights to find clues about the artifact.”

“It must have been so grave for the Arlessa to start grabbing at straws like this.” Cian didn’t know what to think about it. He wasn’t devout enough to believe such myths about Andraste’s ashes magically able to cure any malady. “I wonder what’s the cause of his illness. Maybe we can speak to this knight?” 

“He left Lothering a few days ago, I’m afraid.” The templar shook his head. “And from what little he said, it seems that there has been no news from Redcliffe itself for a few weeks now. That was why he left so sudden without having using our library.” 

“This is another reason to visit Redcliffe! We at least should investigate….um…” Alistair offered enthusiastically but paused when he caught everyone’s else eyeing him. “…I mean it can’t hurt to check it out, right?”

“A few weeks, you say?” Kiara frowned. “Did the knight say anything else?”

“Not really, he gave us the reason for asking to use the Revered Mother’s library that he was looking into Andraste’s resting place. But before he had a chance to meet with Her Reverence, he was recalled back to Redcliffe by a messenger from the Arl’s brother.”

A peculiar look crossed Kiara’s face. “Hmm…I guess, what Alistair said do have some merits…”

“Then, our next desti--”

She held out one finger which promptly halting Alistair before he could finish. “…won’t be discuss here and now. We will do that later at an appropriate time and place.” _Which was not here_ , Cian could hear her underlining words.

Just then several templars arrived along side a middle age woman wearing Chantry color. With a nod of acknowledgement from Ser Bryant, they had set out for a funeral rite.

Kiara seemed to take it as an indication. “We will excuse ourselves then, there are things we must attend before the day is done.”

Ser Bryant glanced over at the sky; a tint of pink was about to start bleeding in, reminding them of that evening was closing. He turned to the gathering party for the last time. “Thank you once again, Grey Wardens. While I said that we have no intention to turn you in, I would advise that not everyone in the village would be the same as us. It would be wise for you to depart the town soon. And good luck on your quest. May The Maker watch over you.”

Kiara nodded solemnly as a reply. Leading the rest of party away from newly set pyre, the flame crackle loudly along with the chant of light sending the souls of the death from the sister. Serving as the last farewell as Three wardens, two apostates and two war hounds departed from the Lothering woods and back toward the town.

 

* * *

  **KIARA**

 

Ser Donall’s early departure had bothered me a bit. But after a thought, what that had really concerned me was the fact how long Redcliffe Village had been besieged by the undead. It seemed situation in Redcliffe was worse than I’d expected. Any plans to travel and finish some other quests could only result in more casualties.

I guessed in some ways, Alistair would be getting his suggestion came true ahead of schedule, that would probably mean his heritage would be reveal to the party early as well. Hmm…. 

Sounds of commotion cut my train of thoughts short as our party reached the edge of village and stopped them on their tracks.

“What in the Maker’s name…?” I heard Alistair voiced his confusion.                 

A group of children gathered around a tall cage, yelling and shouting profanities, some threw rocks at the iron cage. Something in my heart clenched tight in my chest and Realizing who it was in that cage. Before I could stop myself, my legs shot my body forward.

Despite the anger I that drove me to the spot, I manage to come up soundlessly behind the group. Towering over their heads, my eyes caught the sight of the large muscle body sitting crossed legs with back straight inside the flimsy iron cage. His body cladded with dirty cloth a size or two obviously too small for his bulky muscle. His hair was silvery white and braided down in sections closed to his skull. The grey of his skin tone was blotched with dark purple bruises that were too fresh to be more than two or three days old.

And then my suspicious was when one of the brat threw a rock at the figure in the cage. The pebble connected to a spot between his grey skin and the white hairline, it broke the skin before bounced off and fell to the ground. 

“…… **Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit** ,” Without even flinching and his eyes closed, the large male continued to recite his people’s Prayer for the Dead. “… **aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun** ….”

“Lame! He doesn’t even fight back!” The brat that threw the stone laughed smugly at his accomplishment.

It was clear to me that his state of mind was in turmoil. Losing his sword—an extension of himself, akin to losing his existent to the Qun, as well as killing unarmed civilians in panic of losing said sword, thus losing the last of his honor. Large and scary looking or not, once he resigned himself to the coming death inside a cage, Sten was as pitiful as a dying old tiger, his once great and fearful roars could be heard but they were nothing but fading rumbles to bystanders.

A proud warrior reduced to a husk of himself.

“Do it again!” Another kid suggested when he saw that their target did and said nothing in retaliation except starting his chanting once again, prompting his friend for another go at the caged prisoner. I could almost see the same snotnose kid smiled gleefully from the encouragement as he bent down to pick up a pebble off the ground.

Without meaning to for the second time in one day, the fade flared up and wiped around me. My hand shot out and grabbed the raised hand holding the stone. Earning a startle cry from its owner, the pebble was instantly released and dropped to the ground.

That action resulted in the rest of the children turning around and noticed me. “Ahh!!!”

“Leave, brats. Before I open his cage and let him eat you lots for dinner!” I let go of the kid’s arm and growled out the words before adding the effect by letting the fade around my body glowed light blue to look even more menacing.

 Which seemed to work because the kid dispersed with a scream within seconds. But at the same time the rest of our party had finally caught up to me. Bunny bounced forward before jumped up trying to lick my face, which I evaded in time after I let magic dispersed around me.

“What’s in the Maker’s name are you doing?!” Cian hissed as he stomped over to where I stood. “That templar just warned you not to bring attention to yourself and what did you do the first thing out of his earshot?! You glow your bits and chased after children!?”

Shrugging. “Eh….I didn’t chase them, _technically_. I just ran them off.”

“What’s the differe—Ahh!!” Cian let out a high pitch shriek when he noticed a grey skin giant sitting inside the iron cage, his violet eyes eyeing both humans with something akin to distaste. It was almost comical if I’d tried to forget that he was scolding me…

“Maker’s breath! Who…what..?” Cian blinked and then stared at the giant behind the iron bar.

I elbowed him in his side. “Stop being rude.”

“You aren’t one of my captors.” The Qunari frowned disapprovingly at both Cian and I. “I will not amuse you any more than I have the other humans. Leave me in peace, **Basra**.” 

“ **Shanedan** , Warrior.” Ignoring his insult, I said in a cool voice.

That seemed to get his attention. His purple eyes narrowed to scrutinize at me. “You know of our tongues, a **bas saarebas** like you? You also do not seem to be a **Viddathari** either, I can always tell when meeting ones.”

“I read, the circle has a huge library.” Not a total lie but it wasn’t the truth either. Sten eyed me critically but decided not to pick apart my reason.

“Ah, you mean those prisons that you mages _supposed_ to be locked in.” He said instead, letting me know that my little trick earlier hadn’t escape his eyes. “But it matters not. Leave me to my fate, humans.”

“A Qunari!…here in Ferelden! I can’t believe it! I’ve only heard about them from Duncan.” Alistair perked up from behind me. “Although….if he’s a Qunari, why doesn’t he have horns?”

“Dear Maker, Alistair, you can’t just ask people why don’t they have horns!” I shook my head. Bunny and Marble barked in disapproving unison.

“The imbecile is rude.” Morrigan added with a snort.

Both Hawke and Cian turned their head away, clearly trying hard not to let the blond warden see that they were holding in their laughter but from the shade of red on Alistair’s face it seemed their effort wasn’t good enough. I could hear Sten muttering something in Qunlat, even without knowing the exact words, they were clearly disdainful.

It was Hawke who was the first one to become sober. The expression on her face fell a little more than before. “I’ve heard from Bethany that he slaughtered an entire family, even the children, her friend’s family.”

“It is as she said.” The Qunari closed his eyes in resigned.

“But that doesn’t explain who or why he was in the cage, does it?” Alistair frowned.

“I was placed here by the chantry after my captured. As for who am I…” Sten replied. “…I am Sten of the Beresaad—The Vanguard—of the qunari people.”

“My name’s Kiara Amell. This is Cian Cousland.” I introduced. “And our companions; Alistair, Morrigan and Hawke. I don’t know about others but I’m pleased to meet you.”

“You mocked me.…or you show manners I have not come to expect in your lands.” The qunari frowned then shook his head. “But as I said, it matters little, now. I will die soon enough.”

“This is a proud and powerful creature, trapped as prey for the darkspawn. If you cannot see a use for him, I suggest releasing him for mercy’s sake alone.” Morrigan stepped up and said her lines, surprising everyone.

And of course, Alistair ran his mouth on cue. “Mercy? I wouldn’t have expected that from you.”

“What he said.” Cian added.

“I would also suggest that Alistair or Cian, or both take his place in the cage.” Morrigan sneered.

“I doubt this cage is big enough for these two together, Morrigan.” I mused.

“Do not worry, Warden. I know a few spells that will make the cage big enough for the both of them.” The witch offered.

“As tempting as it sounds--” I started, earning an objection (“Oi!/Hey!”) from both Cian and Alistair which I pretended not to hear. “I’m afraid we still need both of them in our quest.”

“Hm! As you wish, then.” Morrigan huffed in disappointment.

Turning my attention back to the qunari, I continued. “You see, we find ourselves in need of a skilled help.”

“No doubt,” He still looked uninterest at my words. But somehow humored me by finishing the lines just like I had expected. “What kind of help do you seek?”

“We are sworn to defend the lands against the Blight.” With that, I could see Sten’s violet eyes widened a fracture. He picked himself up from the bottom of the cage and stood up, his head almost hit the ironed bar above.

“The Blight? Are you a Grey Warden, then?” He asked skeptically.

“Yes…well, not all of us. Alistair, Cian and I are Grey Wardens. Morrigan and Hawke aren’t, they are just helping us out.” I explained.

“Surprising.” He replied after a minute of full scrutiny. “My people have heard the legends of the Grey Wardens strength and skill….though I suppose not every legend is true.”

“Funny, I’ve heard the same thing about qunari warriors….” I muttered under my breath.

“Maybe we can ask if the revered mother if she can release him. Or….” Cian offered before poking the lock on the cage. “…we can just lockpicking it.”

“As much as I like the idea of having a qunari warrior helping us, I doubt making the templar or the chantry angry by letting him out without asking first would be a good thing.” Alistair suggested.

“Perhaps if you told her the Grey Wardens need my assistant. It seems as likely to bring my death as waiting here.” Sten voiced his opinion.

“Then we will go talk to the revered mother, Leliana might be able to help us convince her.” I concluded, but not before feeling a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Hawke with a trouble expression on her face. “What is it, Hawke?”

“Not that I’m trying to put my nose in your business, cousin. I even like your idea of taking the qunari along on your quest. But perhaps it’s possible not to bring him to our house tonight?” She grimaced. “I don’t think mother or Bethany would react well with him there.”

True, if I recalled correctly, neither Leandra nor Bethany had high opinions about the qunari. Especially, Bethany whose friend’s family was killed by Sten.

So, I nodded. “I understand.” Turning back to Sten in the cage, I asked. “How long have you been here? Can you hold out just a bit longer?”

“Twenty days now. I shouldn’t last much more than a week.” He replied.

“Without food and water? That’s a long time!” Cian’s eyes widened.

The corners of Sten’s mouth curved down as he said. “Compare to your kind, maybe.”

“We will not linger here that long. But as you wait here…” I dug out a few of food packages we had raided from the bandits earlier and handed them to him through the bars. “Eat these. They are dried meats, might be a bit stall but still edible. Even if you insisted that you are much more stronger than us, we still need you at your best. So, please replenish yourself while we deal with our business here.”

Sten looked like he wanted to argue but my reasoning seemed rational enough so he accepted the foods. “Very well, I will do this.”

Turning back to our party, I concluded. “Once we get permission from the mother, we will take him when we leave Lothering. That should make everyone happy, yes?”

“Thank you, cousin.” Hawke let out a relieved sighed and smiled. “The sun is about to set, we should head to Harrit before he close his shop if you still want to trade these weapons.”

“Yes, we need to meet up with Leliana as well.” I nodded, and turned back to the qunari inside the cage for the last time. “We will be back as soon as we can. For now, **Panahedan** , Sten.”

The Qunari sat back down inside the iron bars and said. “Good bye, humans.”

 

* * *

Leandra’s foods felt like a feast to us after days of staled breads and dried meat. Since Hawke’s house was too small to fit everyone inside, Leandra had Carver brought the table outside to her small front yard. Supper consists of meat pie topped with mashed potato and grated cheese, hearty stew of several vegetables, baked beans, freshly baked breads and apple tarts for dessert. Even the mabari were having a feast of their own, Marble and Bunny were join by Hawke’s own war hound named Muffin. (Much to Cian’s horror as he stated that bad sense of naming war hounds must have in the family.)

Alistair and Cian shoveled in the food happily with Carver and Hawke sitting on their sides as well as Leliana who was out of her chantry robe, now wearing light armors, she ate politely with a smile on her face. On the opposite side, Morrigan situated herself furthest away from everyone but at least enjoying her foods while ignoring the commotion the other two wardens made. I sat sandwiching between Bethany and Leandra, the later whom kept piling foods on my plate with a bright smile, urging me to eat more. And the younger mage who asking me a lot of questions about Ferelden Circle of Magi.

“It’s not a bad place. But it’s just like everywhere else, I guess. Nowhere is perfect.” I told her. “There, you can learn safely and maybe even have chances in advancing your positions if you did well. If you didn’t mind staying up in the tower days and nights.”

Bethany, who looked almost like her sister with shorter height and grey eyes the same shade as Carver’s, had a pensive look on her face. “I always wonder why Father hated it so much…. from what you said, it doesn’t seem too bad.”

Chewing the pie slowly, I caught Hawke’s eyes from the other side of the table, it looked like she also been listening to our conversation. I swallowed before replying. “Like I said, every circle is different, they did things their own ways. Kinloch Hold is not too restricting in its regulations like other places. I’ve heard that some Orlesian circles even sent their mages to the Empress’s court.”

“Wow….really?” Bethany blinked slowly.

That earning a snort from Morrigan. I knew about her opinions on the circle enough to cut in before she could say her mind. “But let me say this, wherever you are, in the circle or not, you need to have a strong mind. Apostates or circle mages, where you train won’t matter if your mind is weak to temptations. The malevolent spirits won’t stop tempting you in dreams just because you lay your head under the Templar’s protection.”

At my words, Morrigan seemed to be satisfied enough not to say anything else and continued her food in silence. Hawke nodded at me with a thankful for humor her sister’s curiosity. Bethany herself didn’t ask about the circle anymore afterward.

After supper ended and the dishes cleaned, it was quite late into the night. Leandra and Bethany retired back to their rooms for the night. Leaving Carver and Hawke with the rest of our party while we listening to our discussions on the upcoming plans. We put away the chairs but left the now cleanly wiped table and a lit candle stick in the middle.

Then, Cian and I divided the reward coins from getting rid of the bandits today and gave a good amount to Hawke for helping out, much to her protest. In the end she accepted it reluctantly when said that to give the money to Leandra for all the foods she had buy to feeding us tonight. Once that was done, all the humans in the party plus Hawke and his brother huddled around the table.   

“I’m glad to hear that you will take the Qunari with us, Warden.” Leliana said. “To be left to starve, or be taken by the darkspawn….no one deserve that, not even a murderer.”

“So, do you think you will be able to convince her to release him to us?” I asked, even though I know that Leliana could do it.

The redhead nodded. “Yes. It shouldn’t be too difficult. As long as we do not linger too long in Lothering afterward. Some villagers’re still holding him in contempt for what he did.”

“I’ve set a set of armor and a great sword aside for Sten to use once he joins us. I’m not sure the armor will fit him but he can still arm himself with the sword. I take it you have your own weapons for this journey, Leliana?” I asked.

“Yes, Warden. I have my bow and a pair of daggers as well as weapon kits. From the time before I joined the chantry, I’ve been maintaining them so they are still useable.” She replied. At the corner of my eyes, Cian had questioning look on his face. I had an inkling about what he was thinking but decided not to bring it up yet. Instead, I turned to him and asked.  

“How are we looking on the budget, Cian?”

“With the money we collected today, I say we should be able to procure the supplies to last us about a week worth.” He said. “We could probably be able to get more if not for the lack of goods in the town. Also, if we hunted for games during our travel we could last even longer.”

“Very well. That bring us to the next destination.” I started. “It seems Arl Eamon has fallen ill from incurable cause. And Redcliffe had been silenced for several weeks now. I think something might have happened there.”

“Yeah, with or without the arl, we still need his men to fight the darkspawn. We should at least investigate of what’s going on there.” Cian nodded. “With Loghain’s claiming us as traitors, it would be wise to have Arl Eamon on our side as quickly as possible. We can also procure more supplies there as well.”

Pulling out newly bought map, I spread it on the table and moved the light closer to illuminate the paper. “What is the fastest way to reach Redcliffe Village?”

“We can take the imperial highway westward along Lake Calenhad, it will be about a full day on foot if we didn’t encounter any stragglers, which considering Ferelden’s current situation, that is highly unlikely.” Cian pointed along the map as he explained. But it was like an unspoken understanding when Cian said Stragglers, he also included darkspawn, bandits as well any men Loghain would throw in their ways. “At most, we should make it there under two-three days.”

“If we get an early start tomorrow, we can divide in two groups to get things done faster. One can run the purchasing of provisions and the other can go speak to the revered mother about getting custody of Sten.” I suggested what I’d planed to our party. “Leliana, Alistair and Cian can go talk to the Revered Mother. I don’t think having Morrigan anywhere near the chantry is wise, neither does myself. They tend to get antsy when mages going around asking for something.”

“Not that it was necessary but thank you for consideration, Warden.” Morrigan said haughtily from where she sat.

“I suggest it for my own sake as much as yours.” I shrugged. “So, you and me will be getting the supplies. Hawke, I might have to borrow Carver for any heavy lifting tomorrow.”

“Of cour--”

“I’ll do it!” Carver cut in before his sister could finish. Hawke narrowed her eyes at her brother’s eagerness to assist.

“Thank you. If everything went according to what we planned, we might be able to leave Lothering before midday.” I noticed it as well but decided to let it be for the moment. “Might be time for us to retire, if we are going to get an early start tomorrow.”

With that, our impromptu meeting had come to an end. Cian and Alistair helped Carver brought the table they had used back inside the house. Leliana and Morrigan moved toward the borrowed tent they had set up before supper in the corner of Hawke’s small yard, they would be sharing until tomorrow when we were able to purchase individual tents for everyone. Alistair and Cian would be sharing the last tent with the dogs sleeping outside guarding because Leandra’s home was too small to house everyone inside.

But Leandra had insisted for me to share sleeping space inside house, I would still be sleeping on the floor in Hawke’s room but at least I’d have a roof over my head.

“Are you sure you can’t stay a little bit longer, cousin?” Hawke asked me once we said good night and everyone went to their respective sleeping spaces. The tall woman laid on her side on her bed while waiting for me to finish changing out of my armors. “I know you have your _saving the world quest_ to get to but…..It’s just, Mother hasn’t been this happy since father died.”

“I’m sorry, I know the timing is bad but I…me and the rest need to keep moving forward before it’s too late. The hoard is not going to stop spreading the blight, you know that.” I sighed and laid the armors out on the chair by the end of Hawke’s bed before moved toward my own bedroll. “And you should leave this village soon too, Hawke.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whether or not I succeed in ending this Blight, Lothering is far too close to the source of the darkspawn eruption, it’s inevitable that the village is likely to be pillaged once the hoard march through.” I said before settling down on the flimsy bedroll that Hawke had lend me. Flipping the thin blanket over myself, I continued. “Even you survive, the lands wouldn’t. The blight sickness will spread and kill the soils, the plants, live stocks, any living thing, really…” Even, Lyrium…but I didn’t voice that.

Hawke looked pensive for a moment. “But where will we go?”

“North, possibly.”

“We can’t go to back Amaranthine though, we moved away from there because Bethany _accidentally_ throw a boy half her size across the hall with her magic.”

“Talk to your mother. Maybe she will have some options for you to consider. But whatever you do, do it fast…don’t wait ‘till last minute. Get whatever you can carry and leave the rest. Your lives are more important than any of that.”

Hawke hummed softly as a replied before she went quiet afterward, sensing her new-found cousin had fallen asleep. I finally closed my eyes and willed my body to shut down for a few hours just like I had been taught in the Marines. It didn’t take long before exhaustion of the day ushered me to sleep.

 

* * *

Something jostled me awake. My eyes blinked opened, my head and body felt heavier than normal. It took me a few minutes for me to realize the reason why I felt like that was because I was in my full tactical gears, completed with helmet, an M4 rifle sitting in my lap. And the why I felt like my body was swaying?....because I was sitting inside the Humvee while it was moving.

I frowned…why would I have my rifle in my lap instead of pointing it outside the window? Moving to correct my posture but realizing that this wasn’t where I usually sit either. Poking my head outside just enough to see that I was in a moving convoy, my vehicle was the second in line as we drove through the hot and endless desert.    

“It’s gonna be a long ride!” Lance Corporal Remy Boudreaux chirped from his driver seat, he sounded so enthusiastic as usual.

Next to him, Corporal Hector Acosta added from the front seat. “Better not fell asleep, Sergeant!”

A snort came from next to me, I turned and met with familiar face of a Japanese-American scout sniper of the platoon named Yuma Aoki. His slanted eyes crinkled in humor as they met mine. “I think she already did.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, sensing something not right with this scenario. I knew well that my vehicle always consisted of Remy as driver with me at front passenger, back passenger frequented by Corpsman 2nd Class Adrian “Doc” Morris; the platoon medical support and Corporal John Trombley. Lastly with Hector at turret position.    

“Acosta…why are you sitting in my seat? Where the heck is Trombley?” I asked him while training my rifle in to the right position, backseat or not, I needed to be ready to shoot when the situation required. But it still hadn’t stop me from continued asking question. “And why are you in my Humvee, Yuma? Shouldn’t you side with your team? Where is your spotter? Who’s at the gun?!”

“Calm your tits, _Ka-Bar_.” Yuma tried to placated me with my squad nickname, only to raise the anger of being patronized even more. “Did you hit your head when you fell asleep?”

“My head is fucking fine. Now tell me--”

“Incoming!” Someone yelled before the car swirled right and something exploded on left the road.

“Fuck!” I could hear Hector cursed before another explosion boomed, the vehicle in front of us burst into flame before flipping over, Remy swirled left, just in time before we slammed into the torched Humvee. I lost my balance from the sudden movement and fell backward, my back hitting Yuma.

“RPG at 2 o’clock!” Hector shouted again.

I scrambled and righted myself but not fast enough to get my shot in before loud noise boomed and something exploded in my face. Before my vision went white and my ears gone deaf.       

That was when I felt myself being shoved awake.

Sitting up abruptly with a wheeze, my eyes slowly came into focus and realized I was back on the flimsy bedroll inside Hawke’s room with my legs tangled inside the thin blanket I had covered myself with before going to sleep, sweats pouring down from my face like I had been running a marathon. My hand unconsciously reached for the pendants hanging at my neck, the silver sundial clanked softly against Warden’s Oath, both felt cool under my touch. Reminding me that what I just experienced wasn’t real, not really.    

Heaving out a heavy sigh and realized it was just a dream. I wiped the sweat beads at my hairline as I surveyed around myself. Hawke was still sound sleep in her bed and the sky still dark outside, letting me know that dawn hadn’t break yet. Debating about going back to sleep or getting up, and decided that I was too restless to keep sleeping, I got up and shook the effect of my dream off.

Folding both the bedroll and the blanket quickly before set them in a corner of Hawke’s room, I moved to my armor.

A dream of my old memories came and went just as fast…well, it was never actually happened like that but the resemble to reality was close enough, and still leaving a bad taste in my mouth when I woke. I hadn’t dreamed about anyone from her old teams for years even after their deaths and I was discharged from the Marines.

Yuma, Remy and Hector were no longer alive, they hadn’t been for several years. I wasn’t a squad leader at the time of their deaths but survivor’s guilt was more powerful than anyone would give credit for, I still blamed myself for not dying with them on that faithful day.

The guilt was still there when I was awake, of course, but the lack of any familiar faces haunting my dreams used to bothered me to some degree. Did I not care enough about them? They were something closed to a real family beside Jed and Maudie but why I barely see them in dreams after witnessing their deaths?

I had asked Jed about this, aside from chiding me and telling me to go talk to a therapist, he had said that maybe they didn’t want to worry me in my sleep….whatever that meant. 

Perhaps it happened now, was because I was a mage and had connection to the fade, here in this world? Aside from several misplaced facts, if my dream had been affected by the fade and other spirits, I hadn’t noticed anything else. It played out like a rerun of memories than an interactive one that I had control over like ones I had before. But seeing the few faces from my own past on the eve of setting out on a year-long campaign was too much of a coincidence.

I sighed then strapped _Starfang_ and daggers into their respective sheaths after finished dressing. I tip-toeing myself out of Hawke’s room and then the house itself.

Cool morning air greeted my face harshly, reminding me that Ferelden was colder than the rest of Thedas. I made a mental note to myself to purchase everyone a traveling cloak or cape later today as I looked around.

Wind rustled the trees surrounding small Leandra’s little farmhouse. The house itself was located further away from the town proper, possibly to avoid any unnecessary scrutinize from town folks and to an extend; The Templars. But in the distant noises of people waking up to get ready for the day as well as tending to their live stocks and torches being lit could be heard and seen. I spied a small vegetable garden as well a chicken coop in Leandra’s back yard, there was no doubt one of the siblings would be up to tend to them soon as well.      

My eyes swept toward the corners where Cian and the others had camped out, there were no movement from the two tents that housed them, but the three mabari perked up when they caught my arrival before got up and bounced happily forward. Dug into my belt for threats, I offered each of them some grubs just to tie in until someone feed them real food later.

I shushed Bunny when he barked enthusiastically at my offering. “We don’t want to wake everyone up too early, do we?...” My eyes spotted a wooden swords and staffs on the rack next the house and an idea popped in my head. “Let’s go ever there and get some training done, eh?”

All three dogs shook their tails in respond before I led them further away from my party had camped out but not before grabbing the wooden weapons on the way there.

 

* * *

After a few minutes of leading the band of merry war hounds away from the main yard, I settled at the edge of the woods, it was far enough if the dogs made noises, they won’t disturb anyone’s sleep but a short distant from the backyard coop was not too far for them to come looking for me if the need arose.  

After unstrapped my real weapons on the sideline and decided to use the wooden sword I found, I left the wooden staff there as well. I started with a few set of warm-ups and stretches. From how smooth the said sword was, I could tell that it had been used a lot for many years, there was a few chips here and here but still in good condition for a practice sword.

Testing it with a few swings, I concluded from the weight and the length that this practice sword was supposed to be for twohanded weapon, possibly great swords, but the sized of it were small enough for a child to lift and swung without falling over. This was probably belonged to Carver.

After swinging a few random arcs with both hands on the handle, I went through basic series of slash and thrust until my body and wrists used to the weight and momentum the sword had provided, before began the more complexed moves like flourishing and swirling, together with lunging and fading for my footwork. Amell’s body hadn’t been trained in a way to handle these movements yet, so there was a chance while I would get injured during a real battle. So, started getting this body--my body used to the motions would be a good start.

Muffin and Marble gave cheering yips and barks from the sideline while Bunny took it upon himself to be her training partner. Which wasn’t bad at all to be honest. The war hound jumped and charged in as if he would the opponent, adding an element of challenge to her regular bout of sword training.

By the time I felt my muscles started to protest, I concluded the round with another set of stretches, it wouldn’t be good for me to push my body too fast and too soon on the first day of the journey. The sky was purple with a tint of orange letting me know that the day was breaking. Bunny yipped and licked at my hands after I was done with my stretches, I laughed and scratched behind Bunny’s ears as a reward. Until I realized that the audience no longer just the two dogs on the sideline.

“I had no idea a circle mage would know sword fighting.” A deep voice said. I looked over to where the other two mabari sat on their hunches to find Carver standing there with astonishing look on his face. 

“A templar taught me some. I also learned by trials and errors from any tomes I could find.” Letting go on Bunny as the dog bound away from me, I shrugged after deciding to go with the same lies I had told Cian and Duncan the first time the question had been raised. And if this was to prove anything, it was that this wouldn’t be the last time I had to explain it.

“But why would a templar taught a mage how to fight with swords?” The boy frowned.

“And why not?”

“Because….uhh…..” Carver paused for a minute, he clearly looked uncomfortable answering that.

I took a pity on him and said. “Because I have magic?”

“Well…yeah.”

I nodded. “True. But let me ask you this, who taught you to use the sword?”

Confused, Carver replied. “Umm…My father, mostly. I spied on the Templars’ training sometimes and pick some up too. Why?”

“And where do you think where did your father, whom I should remind you that was also a mage, learned how to use a sword enough to be able to teach you those basics?” Carver blinked for a few moments from what I said. “…some mages have more than aptitude to set your hair on fire, some even have talents in melee combats. It’s not too uncommon that some would learn just enough to test the water. You might not know this but there’s a specializing branch of mages called Knight Enchanters, they are trained to wield sword made of magic, those who excelled even ranked higher than some templars. Although most of them served directly under the Divine.”

“So,….you are one of them, then?”

I shook my head. “No, I started training early on in hope that I’d to be able to integrate with their training easier after I pass my Harrowing. But when I did pass it, I was conscripted into the Grey Wardens right after. The skills are useful and it’s good to have elements of surprise up my sleeves, so I keep it up.”

“Right….” Carver murmured back and fidgeting with his hands, it was clear the boy wanted something but nerves were getting the better of him.

I decided to give him a little nudge. “But that’s not why you are here, talking to me, isn’t it? So, what is it that you want to ask me, Carver?”

“………..thyou…….hering…” He mumbled uncharacteristically with the volume too loud for me to catch what was said.

Bunny who finally settled down on his hunch next to my legs, tilted his head and let out a questioning yip. Unfortunately, my hearing was not as good as canine capability to comprehend what he said. “I’m sorry, but could you repeat that?”

“Please, take me with you when you leave Lothering!!!”

“I beg your pardon?”

The three mabari looked at Carver for a minute before let out cackling yowls, before rolling their bodies on the ground. Possibly laughing stubby tails off at Carver’s ridiculous request. I had no idea if the dogs could actually laugh (in a canine way), but it was sure looked like it. 

Carver’s ears were first to turn deep shade of pink before the color spread all over his face as well, I swore there were steams coming out of his ears. Well, it wasn’t everyday your idea got _laughed_ at by mabari hounds.

After a full five minutes of cackling and Carver seemed to be humiliated enough, I whistled a high-pitched noise, stopping the mabari from rolling. I clicked my tongue and pointed my finger back toward Leandra’s house. Signaling the dogs to go back there. They complied without hesitation, but that maybe just because the smell of food coming out from the now lit kitchen, someone already up and making breakfast it seemed.  

Once, the dogs are gone, leaving me with only Carver. Rubbing the bridge between my eyes, I asked. “Whatever encourages you such ridiculous ideas, Carver?”

“It’s not ridiculous! I’m….I’m serious!!” He protested. “You are going to fight the darkspawn, I want to help too! I joined the King’s Army for the same reason! Why can’t I do the same here?!”

“I’m not saying you can’t….”

“Then--”

“But are you sure that’s the real reason you want to leave with me? Or it’s what you _think_ is the reason?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Why do you want to leave with me?” I asked carefully. “Surely, it’s not just because you have some weird craving to kill the darkspawn?”

“Umm…No.” Carver scratched the back of his head. “I just, I want to keep my family safe from those creatures.”

I nodded before handing him the wooden sword to carry. “Yes, but there are other ways to that than go chasing after the hoard with me.”

He accepted it and asked. “What do you mean?”  

I let out a breath before bent down to pick up my discarded weapons and started strapping them back in place as I continued. “I told your sister last night to leave Lothering as soon as possible. It won’t be safe here anymore, you know that the Banns had already left with his troops, the templars here alone won’t be able to do much if the hoard march this way and they will. You need to help your sister, take you family out and far from here as soon as possible, the longer you wait the more dangerous it will get when you travel.”

Done with all the straps, my sword and daggers were all in rightful places, I picked up a staff I hadn’t used. “You need to be with your family, Carver. Do you think only Hawke protect both your mother and Bethany while traveling by herself?”

He looked like someone who just tasted something sour. “But Livia is good at what she does, surely she will--”

“Don’t forget that she’s also a mage. Bethany too.” I reminded him. “What would they do if they happened to meet the templars hunting apostates?”

He looked at his feet. “I….it’s just….sometimes I feel like it’s not fair that I have to be the one to protect them. Even my father told me to do that before he passed. I, I just want to have my own choices, my own adventure too….”

And there it was. The real reason he had wanted to leave with me.

“I understand.” I said carefully. “But…..you are young, Carver. There’s still time for your own adventures. Trust me, if you survived this Blight…maybe I might even recruit you into the Grey Wardens…” His eyes widened at that. “But in the meantime, you take care of your family first, alright?”

“Oi! Carver! Where in the void are you?! Why haven’t you feed the chicken yet?!” Hawke’s voice yelled out from the house. Carver flinched slightly at that.

I chuckled and patted his arm on an uninjured side. “Come on, let’s go feed the chicken before Hawke comes barreling out here.”

He nodded and we started walking back toward the house. “Can you keep this a secret between us?”

Nodding in agreement. I wouldn’t want Leandra to start throwing me a fit if she heard I tried to recruit her only son into an order with suicidal but noble goals. “Of course, cousin.” 

 

* * *

  **A/N ::** Ehh….still not out of Lothering yet? Well, I tried to get as much of the things that need to be said in this chapter, but still couldn’t get them out of the town yet. Though this is the longest I’ve written so far.

And, Anyone remember Harritt? lol (you probably did if you played DAI already), he always cracks me up when I talk to him. 

Next chapter our protagonists will finally leaving Lothering, for real!  


	10. Meeting of Strangers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wardens finally set out toward their first destination, Redcliffe Village. But not before meeting two faithful dwarves, as well as someone unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for long absence and taking too long to update this. I was about 40% done with the chapter the time for my Finals came around, and since it’s my senior year for university, I can’t be slacking off. lol But, alas, here we are! Enjoy!  
> Warning :: The usual blood and violent, unbeta.

**Chapter 10 :: Meeting of Strangers.**

Accident is design  
And design is accident  
In a cloud of unknowing.  
               -   T.S. Eliot.

 

* * *

  **KIARA**

After breaking our fast with Hawke and her family, our group split up and gone separate ways in order to get things done just as we planned the night before. Carver had _volunteered_ himself to help, earning him raised eyebrows from both his sisters--much to his annoyance. In the end, all three siblings had joined Morrigan and I for our task of purchasing provisions. Leaving the dogs to guard the house and Leandra.

The town was abuzz with the crowds, even though it was only late morning. There seemed to be even more people than yesterday, and at the same time, some shops were no longer opened, including the herbalist shop Hawke had frequented, as well as a cloak store that used to gave Hawke discount for helping out. We had to settled with second hand clothing for the traveling cloaks to keep everything under the budget. As for the potions, they ended up finding a traveling herbalist named Cherville at the makeshift refugee camp, whom eagerly traded his own potions for some coins. A few health poultices, injury kits and cleansing solutions for washing wounds.

“Thanks the Maker for send you to me! And thank you so much for these coins, Warden!” The man offered his gratitude with eyes full of tears. “I was at Ostagar, I saw what really happened to the King and your people. Know that I’d never believed what that traitor had excusing you of!”

“Thank you, my good man.” Something akin to satisfaction bloomed inside my chest. “Now, you get far away from this town as much as possible, alright? The hoard is heading this way, whether others believe it or not.”

“Yes, Warden!” The herbalist didn’t linger. He seemed to take my words to heart and quickly packed up his stuffs before departing toward the other end of the village. I silently hoped that I had saved one more life from this dire situation.        

The rest went smoothly without a hitch, despite weird stares people had given Morrigan; which she ignored entirely. Occasionally, the two youngest Hawkes bickered between themselves. But, to everyone’s surprise, Bethany seemed fascinated with Morrigan’s exotic ways of thinking. Especially after learning that the witch was also a mage, and had lived in the Korcari Wilds, she started pestering the older mage for tales and stories of the place.

“So, what did my brother want with you?” Hawke asked me during our purchase of bedrolls and blankets, both her siblings were too captivated with Morrigan’s tale of Chasind legend to pay any attention to them.

“Eh, he was just curious about where I learn how to use a sword. And asked me for some pointers, that’s all.” I lied smoothly. Despite, having said that they would keep the conversation this morning a secret between Carver and I, the younger Hawke’s eagerness to accommodate my request of help hadn’t escaped everyone’s eyes. Cian had laughed at that and said that I obtained yet another Mabari…Rude!

“…Heh…..” She gave me side eyes before shrugged it off. If Hawke hadn’t believed a replied I gave her, she didn’t voice it and hadn’t asked again. I mentally sighed in relief. As much as I could lie smoothly; since I was trained to do so, it didn’t mean doing it wasn’t bothering me sometimes.  

Keeping my ears opened had also bore the fruit of my labor, I’d learned about a pair of travelling dwarves who fit the general description of Bodahn and Sandal from the villagers. But after questioning the gossipers discreetly, it seemed that they’d arrived a few days before we did and had hired some people as sellswords. But no one had seen his group today, it was possible that they had left the village? At least the father and son would have some people protecting them.

With all purchasing done and Carver’s physical labor of carrying the goods, we came back to the house in no time. Leandra came out from the house smiling, along with the hoard of mabari; well, there were only three of them but they’d still qualified as a hoard. She announced that she had started preparing an early lunch for us, so we wouldn’t have to travel on empty stomach, and that it would be ready by the time the others came back.

After a long look at the purchased goods, I decided to do the packing, might as well killed the time we had.      

Everyone would get their own backpacks, they were by no mean as good as my old Marine Corps issued load-bearing equipment. But still better than what we had, studier than the ones we’d been carrying. A set of bedrolls, blankets, small personal tents, traveling cloaks, and toiletries. They would be sharing the cookware and utensils, preserved foods, camping equipment. They would be divided equally for Alistair,  Cian and Sten to carry. Both Morrigan and I had scoured every store available for health potions and injuries kits but found none, aside from that they had traded from herbalist Cherville. Apparently, these items were commodities that everyone needed and were in high demand these days.

The witch had asked if I didn’t know any healing spell before taking a long blank look and hysterical laugh I gave her as an answer that we’d rather not bother having me healing anyone. Then, she had nonchalantly offered to make more health potions, the simple kind, if they came across appropriate ingredients. They would be a quick fix during a fight but wouldn’t be able to cure any major injuries. I also delightfully assured her that it was better this way, because any poor sods I healed would end up being fried to crisp than gotten better from said injuries. And pointed out that we could purchase them later on. (Or, wait for Wynne. But I didn’t say that.)

After much wrapping, folding and stuffing things into each backpack, I had asked Morrigan to teach me an enlargement spell she had mentioned when we met Sten. Hawke who had been standing nearby also taught me another; a weight lessening spell.

Took me a few attempts to cast them properly, both spells on each pack, Enlargement spell on the inside and Weight lessening one on the outside. The spells would be useful for traveling, but the enchantment would have to be renew every week. Hmm….maybe, once Bodahn and Sandal had join their party, I should ask the boy to make rune stones to substitute the casting. In theory; as both Bethany and Morrigan generously pointed out that a rune enchantment would be sturdier and last longer than a spell. Another thing to wrote down in my little notebook. But for now, these packs were still much lighter than my own deuce gear that I had to carry during my deployments.

By the time, Cian, Alistair and Leliana had returned with a grungy looking key, six backpacks for five humans and a Qunari, Plus two smaller ones fitting for the dogs to carry, all were laid out, ready to be pick up. Leandra also announced that the meals were done as well.

“Why did it take you so long just to ask for one single key?” I heard Morrigan complained not quite subtly as everyone piled the foods on their plates.

Alistair almost choked trying to reply with his mouth full. Cian just grunted and tossed another chicken leg at Marble. It was Leliana who answered her question. “The revered mother was being a bit caution, it took us sometimes to _persuade_ her the benefits of letting the Qunari go.…”

“You mean, she became more complacent after the donation.” Cian snorted in between chewing. “You would think that having a former Templar in the party would _help_ convince her….”

“Well, I did say that my conscription into the Grey Wardens pissed off some people from the chantry.….” Alistair finally swallowed and offered his excuse.

“That doesn’t explain how you suddenly disappeared when we needed you to say something.” Cian gave him a suspicious look.

“Uhh….” The blond Warden stopped mid-chewing and blinked innocently.

“Knowing his intelligent, I doubt he was scheming something nefarious. He was possibly distracted by the smell of food serving in the chantry…” Morrigan offered her opinions.

“Thank—Hey! Are you insulting my intelligent?!” He sputtered.

Morrigan snorted. “…’twould have been my intention, if you’d had any of it to speak of.”

Wisely ignoring their bickering, Leliana turned her attention to me. “Warden, how was your resupply task? Any problem?”

I paused a few seconds to asset of any reasons Leliana would be concerning about my task but nothing came to mind. “Aside from the lack of Health poultices and restoring potions? Not really. No one had giving us trouble, yet. And I’d preferred it that way.”

“They wouldn’t rest easy if they’d know we’re about to take the Qunari out of the cage.” Cian offered. “Some people wouldn’t be happy for letting a murderer walk free.”

“Nobody is walking free, period. And the Qunari is a trained warrior. If he was a human, an elf or a dwarf, we could have easily conscripted him into our service.”

“I admit that I’d never heard of a Qunari Grey Warden before.” The redhead said with fascination.

“Me neither. I think, that’s because no one had ever succeeded in recruiting them before, they are too loyal to their nation to serve under any other banners. A militant upbringing is a hard thing to break free of.” _I’d know._ I thought silently before concluded out loud. “But, that’s why we will be leaving after the meal is done. We have so much to do to linger here too long.”

 _And who knows what damage the demon had already done to Redcliffe_.

 

* * *

There was still no evident of any ambushes; Neither the villagers nor the darkspawn were waiting for them at the far exit of Lothering, I saw not at all a glimpse of travelling dwarves, nor their wagon. The arched stone of the exit gate was quite isolated and further away from the town itself, bordering on the edge of the Woods that we had cleared out the bandits. There was no trace of a fight or abandoned belongings, I took it as a good sign that the father and son had left before them.   

I had sent Cian and Alistair to free Sten along with a spare set of armor for him to change into and a package of food to fill his belly while Morrigan, Leliana, the mabari and I waited at the entrance. Leandra and Bethany didn’t look happy hearing that we’d be taking the convicted prisoner with us but after assuring them by not giving weapon to him yet and some bullshits I’d made up about redeeming oneself in the Maker’s eyes, had helped them feel a little more accepting.  

“Are you sure you can’t stay longer, darling?” Leandra asked, her face solemn with all of her three children stood with her. To say a final farewell to our departure. Morrigan and Leliana stood a bit further apart to give us some privacy. The dogs with their own pack strapped on their backs played happily not too far away.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Leandra. But the blight is not going to wait for anyone.” Shaking my head, I squeezed her aged hands reassuringly. “I told Livia to take you and the twins away from this place. Possibly up north, far away from here before the blight reach this land and it will. So please, do not linger here, Aunt Leandra.”

“But…” She hesitated, it was obvious the attachment of this place full of memories was hard thing for her to let go.

“Mother, she’s right.” Hawke offered. “Whatever we have, the house, the money, it would mean nothing if we _died_ here.”

She heaved a sigh in defeated. “Very well.”

I pulled out the amulets I had bought earlier today and moved toward the twins. I had no idea if these were legit but I could feet bits of enchantment pulsed through when I’d touched them so they should work, at least. Handing the baubles out at the twins, I said.

“They are Lifeward Amulets. In case you didn’t know what that is, when you’d taken a death blow to your body, this amulet will shatter to protect you. You’ll probably still be injured but at least not death. But it’ll work only once, so when it did, you get the hell away from whatever would be killing you, understand?”

“Cool!” Carver, surprising accepted it with glee and put it on himself without questioning. I gave him a smile and bumped my fist on his muscular uninjured arm. “Take care of your family for now, alright, Carver? I won’t forget our promise.”

Ignoring a vibrating Carver, I turned to Bethany who look a bit confused at the gift in her hand. “Listen, Bethany….” I started and the youngest Hawke lifted her face up to meet mine. “We mages are weapon, a walking, breathing, living weapon. But we are also human. We have a will to choose to be good or bad. It’s up to us how we should to wield ourselves as weapons, to destroy or to protect. And whenever you doubt yourself or when you met with some unfairness being done to us, mages, remember this, alright?”

Her grey eyes glittered under the afternoon sun. She nodded and put the amulet around her neck. “Thank you, cousin.”

Relief repelled the wariness out of my chest, I had been too busy with everything else to properly thinking of a way to save this pair sibling, more on Bethany since according to canon it would be her dying because Hawke in this world/reality was a mage. I had thought of warning them but that seem to be too dangerous to reveal anything without having them look at me like a lunatic. So, these amulets would enable them a chance for them to save themselves. Both twins were capable of doing that once they were experienced enough.    

“No parting gift for me, cousin?” Hawke teased as she put her arm around my shoulder.

“Sorry. Would extra dog biscuits count?” Mentally winced, I hadn’t really thought about Hawke.

“Haha! I’m joking. Here, how about you take a parting gift from lil’ ol’ me instead?” She then produced a thick leather tome in her hand and trusted it to me. The cover was worn but non-descriptive there was no title written on it, the papers from the side yellowed from aging. The tome had clearly been handled over many years from the look of it.     

“This belong to my father. He wrote the best way to harness or produce spells as well as some other advanced ones.” Hawke said. “It had taught both me and Bethany a lot over the years. I want you to have it.”

Frowning, I trusted it back at her. “You can’t give me something like this, this’s like a family heirloom or something.”

“Exactly. You may not be a Hawke but you’re still a family!” Hawke proclaimed and pushed it back to me. “You’re gonna be fighting them darkspawn, I can’t be there to help but this tome can give you at least one or two more fighting chances. I don’t know if Ferelden Circle’s teachings are the same as Kirkwall’s, but I’m sure it will help you somehow.” She paused, finger tapping her pointed chin. “How about this, think of it as a loan. You’ll return it to me, once you finished with this blighted business, Deal?”

I eyed down at the worn tome, this was Malcolm Hawke’s personal spell book. The giddiness of my own curiosity was getting the better of me. It was true, I had most of Amell’s memories of learning in the circle but this might help me become better at managing my own mana without imploding my brain while casting complex spells.

“Alright.” I yielded. “But I promise, I’ll get this back to you.” _Even if I didn’t survive, I will think of a way to return it, somehow_. I thought silently.

“Good!” Hawke ginned widely and I felt the urge to shield my eyes from the brightness of it.

A series of loud barks from both Marble and Bunny alerted me of the others arrival. Cian led Alistair and Sten toward our waiting party. Both Leandra and Bethany stiffed at the sight of him. Clearly uncomfortable to be near his presence. Carver moved forward to stood in front of his mother and sister as if to shield them from the Qunari’s sight. But, Sten himself didn’t even pay attention at their direction, instead walking straight to me. Hawke saw the oncoming and slid away toward her family with a nod of her head. I tucked the tome inside my pack quickly.

“Hello, again, Sten. I see that you’d foregone the chest armor….” I remarked politely. Eying the shoulder pauldrons strapped to his wide shoulders, vambraces on his arms and cuirasses on his legs then the bare chest.

“Do not worry, mage. This is how a Qunari is outfitted regularly.” He replied. Before staring down at me for a good long minute. “The other wardens said that you are the commander of this unit, is that true?”

One of my brow raised at that statement before my eyes found both Cian and Alistair who finally joining where we stood. “I…am?”

“Well, you’ve been leading us. Might as well take the job officially?” Alistair offered.

“Even though it’s you who have the seniority?” I asked.

“W…well, it’s only six months! And from how Duncan had been preventing me to join a real fight, Tower of Ishal might as well been my first real battle.” He replied.

“It made me wonder about why Duncan would do such a thing, eh?” Cian eyed the blond man who fidgeting under his gaze.

Taking a pity on him, because the issue of his heritage would be reveal pretty soon before we reached Redcliffe, I pulled back everyone’s attention by accepting the job. “Well, I guess I am the commander of this unit then. But if it’d make you feel better, there are technically only three Grey Wardens left in all of Ferelden. And as the circumstance left us, we have no way of contacting the wardens from other nations yet.”

Sten gave me another stare. “Strange.”

“Why? Because I’m a mage?”

“And a woman.” Sten added.

I shrugged, not ready to have this conversation just yet. “Well, you are in Ferelden. We do thing differently here.”

“I guess, you are. Only time will tell if those differences are more effective or not.” He said doubtfully. But didn’t voice any objection about the issue further, instead he asked. “What is the plan, then?”

“We’re going to Redcliffe to have an audience with Arl Eamon.” I explained. Omitted the facts of the man’s possible illness and no communication coming out of the village from Sten, for the time being. “He’s the only noble that still has all his troops because he wasn’t at Ostagar. We are going to need a large army to defeat the darkspawn hoard. I have other treaties for the mages, the Dalish and the dwarves but Redcliffe is the nearest destination, so he’s our first stop.”

“Very well, Warden.” Sten accepted the plan politely, showing neither disapproval nor approval of it.

I unstrapped the spare great sword I had prepare for him from my pack and handed the sheathed sword to him. “I do not expect you to fight barehand, so take this. Its quality might not be the best but we can always get something better or more to your liking once we find a blacksmith.”

Sten stepped backward away from us, unsheathed the sword and gave it a few test swings before returned the blade to the sheath again. “It will suffice.”

“Well, then. Let’s us depart. If we’re lucky maybe we could be dining supper with the Arl.” Cian nodded before whistled at the dogs. Both Morrigan and Leliana also took it as a sign to hiked up their own packs and joined us.

“The Maker be with you, cousin!” Hawke shouted her final goodbye after us.

I waved and gave the village and them a final glance, if I’d survived long enough after the war, maybe I would be see them again—Not Lothering though, this would be the last time I would be seeing it standing well and alive, the next time it would be ravaged to ground. Many people would die. At least I had hoped Hawke took her warning seriously and got the hell out of here before it’s too late.

For a second, an old memory surged in my mind.

_“We are here to win the War, marines.” The voice of Sergeant Davis; a big and burly man, the first NCO of my first deployment said while we were riding through freshly bombed no name town in Afghanistan. The screams of pain, anguish yelling of the locals could be heard so clearly. The suicide bombing was not and uncommon tactic used by the insurgent. Even it was their own territory that took the most damage. My heart clenched at the devastation._

_“But why are we not helping these locals, Sergeant?” The Japanese-American whose name was stitched on his desert patterned uniform read ‘Aoi’, sitting across from me, asked out loud. Clearly voicing the other green horn marines’ curiosity squeezing together in the back the transport vehicle._

_“We are helping, by winning this war, son.” The sergeant replied, spitting out the tabaco out the window before put the fresh one in his mouth again. “In time like this, we can’t save everyone. We can only save the **majority** of them by winning it, remember that.”_

Two days later, the Sergeant was sent back state side in a box half his size. He was blown to pieces by road side IED along with two others from my own company.

The Sergeant might be gone but that answer had stayed with me throughout my own career. The answered that had never satisfied me, not that day when the world was still just a fresh thrilling adventure. Not afterward when I came face to face with the truth of the War and was hardened by it. Not years later, when more than half of my own unit was decimated in an ambush.

Unsatisfied but still rung true.

A loud bark from Bunny and a hard nudge from Bunny snapped me back into the present. The rest of the party clearly noticed my spacing out. I reached down and patted my black mabari. “Thanks, Bunny. Let us go then, yes?”

My dog yipped happily in a reply before trotting a long side me who no longer looking back at the peaceful little town for a second time.

 

* * *

The afternoon sun was shining hot but the cool early-spring air of Ferelden had helped lessened the temperature somewhat, they hadn’t been wearing the newly purchased (though second-handed) traveling cloaks. Cian had informed me that this section of the highway was called by Fereldens ‘ _East Road_ ’ which would had been one of the two the main travelling passages for trading from Orzammar as well as Orlais. The stone-paved road reminded me of ‘Roman Roads’ constructed during the Height of Roman Republic and later Roman Empire that expanded all over Europe, used for both military purposes, communications and trading. I fascinatedly wrote down the observation in my(Amell’s) notebook.

The East Road would lead us from Lothering through the wooden land, then the more open farmstead areas of the Hinterlands. As the ground getting steeper, a sign of the Arling of Redcliffe that situated on a western hill. Their goal was to pass the East Gate of the Hinterlands before sundown and possibly camping for the night within the farmstead area. Giddiness from my memory of playing _Inquisition_ was still fresh enough that I had suggested camping at Lake Luthias and since nobody had argued or said no about the idea, our end goal for the day was set for the Lake.           

But after several hours of walking through the heavily wooden area out of Lothering proved to be most dull. Not even a single bandit ambushing us along the boring walk. Sten had been taken pointed along with me. With the dogs at the rear, leaving Alistair, Leliana, Cian and Morrigan spreading out in the middle. The Qunari hadn’t complained, nor saying a single word, just quietly walk alongside me with occasional glances sending down at my direction.

That seemed to be opposite for the humans in the party, after several hours of nothing but trees and occasionally squirrels, conversations starting to get louder and louder. 

“So,….let me get this straight. You were a cloistered sister?” Alistair’s voice could be heard from behind.

“You must have been a brother before you became a templar, no?” Leliana’s accented voice replied with her own question.

“Well, I never actually became a templar. Duncan recruited me into the Grey Wardens before I took a final vow.” He replied with a slightly different words from what I’d remembered but still pretty much the same.

“And when did you say you know Arl Eamon?” Cian asked.

“Uh….well, I did grow up in Redcliffe before I was sent to the Chantry. That’s where I knew him from?” Alistair’s answer was obviously shaky.

“At Morrigan’s hut you said that you knew him, that he was a good man. You talked like you didn’t just know him in passing.” Cian pressed the issue.

“Well, everyone who lives in Redcliffe knows him. The arling is quite small you know and he’s very….umm what’s the words?....Hands on?” I almost laughed mentally. Alistair dodged the question almost as nimble Cian’s dodging blows from the enemies.

“But, let us talk about something more interesting!!” The blond Warden proclaimed before Cian could have a chance to dig in further. “Morrigan! Let’s talk about your mother, for a moment!”

The witch clicked her tongue in displeasure. “Tsk. I rather talk about _your_ mother.”

“My mother’s not as interesting as yours, though. I remembered she told us to call her _Flemeth_.”

“Your mother’s name is _Flemeth_?!” Leliana asked, her tone surprised mixed with fascination. “ _The Flemeth_ , the witch of the Wilds? From the old legends?”

“Yeah, I’ve been wondering that too. She’s definitely powerful. I’ve never seen someone transform into a giant dragon.” Cian offered his own thought.

“Are you an expert in all magic, Warden Cousland? You are not even a _mage_.” Morrigan retorted, I didn’t even have to turn around to see that she’s sneering. “And my mother’s never a circle mage. I doubt they’re teaching shapeshifting there.”

“They don’t, at Kinloch Hold.” I added. “Shapeshifting is a very old form of magic, practice by some Hedge Mages and Shamans. I think they might be a curriculum of this at Rivani Circle.”

“You seem to know a great deal about shapeshifting, Warden.” Morrigan pointed out. “And you also learn about this from your library?”

I shrugged without looking back. “Compare to you, that’s probably all I know about it. But, yeah I did like reading.”

“You also claimed to know about my people just from reading.” Sten spoke the first time since we left Lothering.

“It’s a big library, you all will see for yourselves once we visit the circle.”

“Sound exci--” Cian hadn’t finished what he’d wanted to say before abruptly stopped. “Ughh!!….”

That groaning had me turned back around to see my fellow warden with a hand gripping his own temple. “What’s the matter, Cian?”

“…the….buzzing…..” He staggered sideway but Leliana grabbed him in time before he fell face first to the ground. The words coming out from him was almost like a slur. “….Don’t….you….hear it?....”

Alistair frowned. “….buzzing?...”

I opened my mouth to say something but the words died suddenly because the heat from my pendant shot through me when it touched the skin under my armor. Looking down at it, I could see a faint glow of shimmering blue from under the fabric.

A woman’s scream echoed the empty highway before a body came running out from the side of the road.

“Help!!! Somebody hel--!!” She didn’t get a chance to finish when an arrow flew from the direction she came from and embedded its head through the skin of her neck.

“Darkspawn!!” Alistair shouted, his shield and sword drawn out just a second before a short genlock jumped out from where the woman came running.

That put all of us into motions. Abandoning our backpacks on the ground and weapons unsheathed. My instinct kicked in just as _Starfang_ bared its sharp edge to the world, shimmering its silvery blue glow.

“Warriors, Hounds; Vanguard! Cian, Leliana, Morrigan stay at range!” I called out formations before drove myself forward slashing the nearest Hurlock’s legs, slicing the limps off.  

Sten and Alistair roared and charged at the same time, startling the genlock. The Qunari got there first and swung his large blade down in a chopping motion, the sharp edge connected at the skin between the darkspawn’s neck and shoulder, dark blood poured out from the wound.

“There’s more of them!” Alistair shouted and slammed his shield into the next darkspawn came running out from the bush, following by a thrust of his sword, piecing the enemy right in its chest. Marble and Bunny charged in, fangs bared and chomping on the foes’ necks.

The stragglers kept pouring out of the woods, the numbers looked less than a hoard but still more than enough to worried me. Some of them, tried to be smart and changed direction to the side, possibly hoping to hit us at the flank.

I threw a ball of freezing ice at them, temporary halting their movements. Trusting my blade at the nearest target before kicking the other, shattering both the frozen bodies. Before shouting for Leliana. “Leliana, hold the flank, please!”

Leliana pivoted on her toe, switched the direction as I commanded and let loose her own arrows like a seasoned hunter, every one of them found its mark right between the target’s eyes or through the necks, meanwhile I left the front attacks to Warriors and the hounds, joining Leliana to protect Morrigan and our supplies left lying on the ground. 

“Warden!” Morrigan’s voice caught my attention while I was rolling away from the blow this Hurlock’s trying to deliver on my head, diving low, I swung _Starfang_ into a reverse trust, stabbing my attacker right in it throat. With a quick flick of my wrist, to get the blood off the sword I finally spared a glance at her direction.

Morrigan was burning two of the attacking darkspawn with her spell, but Cian was on the ground, hands pulling at his hair, his own daggers left scattered on the dirt. Just then another Hurlock came running from Morrigan’s blindside, blade bared, directly right into Cian’s direction.

Before I could think, my hand moved and my _Starfang_ flew out of my hand, toward the Hurlock’s direction. It wasn’t a good aim, the sharp end only embedded on its shoulder. But it gave me enough time to pull out the spare dagger from my belt and jumped in front of Cian just in time to redirect the blow from an angry darkspawn.

The Hurlock screeched loudly in my face, seemingly getting pissed off from the injury I gave it earlier. I tried not to gag before stabbing a dagger right into the soft flesh in its neck, pulling it out and repeating another stab from the same angle to ensure that it would be dead, the screech turned into gurgling sound. Dark blood sputtered out from both its mouth and the wound before it fell sideways.  

“Yuck!” I kicked the body away before it fell on top of me, . After retrieving _Starfang_ and rushed back to Cian, who still crouching on the ground.

“Have you been hit? I don’t see any injury?!” I asked, almost in full panic after pulling his body backward so he laid on his back.

“My Head! Make it stop!!” He screamed loudly. My eyes narrowed down before moving my free hand to check his head, still there was no blood, no bump or bruise anywhere.

“He’s experiencing his first hit from sensing the darkspawn!” Alistair panted out the word in between finishing off his enemy. “It’s probably too intense for him!”

“Shit!” I cursed, eyeing the ongoing fight. There was nothing I could do for him now except ending the battle as quickly as possible. So, I whistled for the dogs to disengage from their fight, they rushed over still full of blood and gore in their mouths. “Marble, Bunny, Guard Cian! Morrigan stay close to them.”

After the command I looked down at Cian the last time and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. “Hang in there. It will be over soon.”

With that said, I rushed forward and rejoined the fight. Leliana already ran out of arrows, instead, slamming her bow onto her enemies to compensated the lack of melee weapon. Between Sten and Alistair there wasn’t much targets left anyway. Less that five minute later, there was no longer the ugly screeching anymore. We regrouped at the spot the dogs and Morrigan were standing around Cian. 

“Sten, please help drag the bodies into one pile on the side of the road, we’ll need to burn them before their blood poison the land. Marble and Bunny, help him please.” I said at the same time. Pulling out the cloth to clean blood from my weapons.

“I do not see the point but very well.” Sten replied simply and got to work. I turned to Leliana who was picking up her arrows. “Leliana, can you scout the direction these stragglers came from? Be careful, there might be more of them.”

The redhead grimly nodded and slung away quietly in between the trees.

“Alistair, with me please.” I called the blond warden. He just finished cleaning the gore bits off his own weapon. He joined me with a solemn look on his face, only a few steps away to where Morrigan was checking on Cian’s condition.

“How is he?” I asked and look down at my fellow warden. The blue glow of magic from Morrigan’s hands made his face looked paler than normal, sweats beaded down his skin. He seemed to be trembling a little bit.

After a few minutes, Morrigan withdraw her magic from his head. “My healing is not as good as mother, but from what I can see, aside from a simple headache, his big head is fine.”

“Why, thank you….” Cian quibbled tiredly. Morrigan gave him a sneer and pushed him off her laps with a thud, before got up and walked away to clean herself. If the situation wasn’t so concerning I’d have laughed.

My blue eyes met with his green ones. Guilt brimming in them. “I’m sorry,….I…I have no idea why that happened.” Cian tried to sit up and lifted his hand up to swiped the sweats off his face. “I….I was fine before when we fought those things.”

“Your body possibly just starts getting in tune with the taint. It’s always the hardest the first time. I’ve heard of worse cases than yours. So, I think it’s pretty normal. You’re probably a little more sensitive to them than me. Mine wasn’t this bad, it was confusing, yeah but not this bad.” Alistair explained before pulled out a waterskin and handed it to him. “Here, have some water. Take small sips.”

“I don’t feel thing anything like that though.” Sheathing back my cleaned weapons, I added my own thought while Cian took a sip from the waterskin.

“Duncan said that each Wardens’ bodies developing and adapting to the taint from the joining differently. Some wardens could feel the darkspawn’s presences within few days of joining and others took months to developed.”

“Is this going to become a problem the next we fight these creatures? I’m supposed to be killing them not getting a dizzy spell whenever we encountered them!”

“You shouldn’t feel this intense the next time,…..I think.” Alistair added but it was obvious he had no real concrete proof that it won’t happened again.

“Any more side effects we should know about, Alistair?” I prompted.

“Well, aside from sensing the darkspawn, there’s the increase in appetite, increase in stamina and mana. But we’d all known that…some wardens claimed they could go without sleep for several days but I haven’t try that myself.” Alistair counted his own fingers while listing what he’d known. “And….hmm….oh! there’s the nightmare! I’ve heard the older wardens saying that sometimes they dreamed about the darkspawn. It supposed to be worse during the blight.”

“Great…” Cian muttered and dusted the dirt off his armor. I also noticed that he hadn’t said anything about the Calling either.

Rubbing my temple, a concern bloomed silently within me. There was no mention of something like this happened to the Warden. Sure, I knew all about the nightmare from the game but getting a headache this bad from the first time the tainted synced our blood and the darkspawn hive minds was something new to me, too. And should I be concerned that I experienced none of that, if my pendant hadn’t warned me of the danger, I’d had no idea it was the darkspawn. Was this just a delay reaction? Would I be in this condition too, once the connection snapped in place for me?

“Warden!”

Sten’s voice pulled me back from endless thinking. I blinked and turned to meet the Qunari. “Yes, Sten?”

He didn’t reply, instead pointed at the pile of darkspawn bodies. I moved toward it, leaving Cian talking to Alistair who went back finishing the cleaning himself.

“Thank you. Don’t forget to clean their blood off yourself, we don’t want you to get infected with the blight, especially if you have any opened wounds. Ask Morrigan for cleansing solution if you do.” I flicked my hand, tugging the fade just a little to call for a fire and quickly started incinerating the bodies.

“I did not know that ones can get infected with the blight sickness just fighting the darkspawn.” Sten tilted his head at me, but still complying with wiping the splatters off himself.

“It’s their blood that carry the taint.” I explained while keeping the stream of flame in place, didn’t want to start a forest fire now, eh?. “I think technically it’s their body fluids, those include blood, saliva, sweats, et cetera. You can also get infected by digesting or absorbing the sources accidentally, like when spraying blood just land in your opened mouth or get in your eyes. I’m not sure about how long exactly the incubation period is, because some people are more resistant to the blight than oth—What?”

Stopping mid-sentence when I felt too many pairs of eyes on me. It wasn’t just Sten who paid attention to what I’d been saying.

“You know, I’ve been a warden longer than you, and still I had little idea about all the things you just said.” Alistair said thoughtfully, it was just then he finished wiping off all the gore and blood, whistled for the both hounds to come closer for their own cleaning.

“Well, Duncan told me about it.” I cleared my throat and lied as smooth as I could. “When we first met at Kinloch Hold, I asked him about the darkspawn in details, It wasn’t everyday a Grey Warden visited a Circle Tower.” 

A rustle from the bushes halted all conversation and put them on alert, until they noticed a shade of red hair popping out.

“It’s me!” She announced just in time before I threw a fire ball at her direction. Her leather armor still splattered with dark brown blood, her face a weird combination of relief and dismal. “We have survivors, Warden!”

“What?!” Alistair whipped his head around so fast the cleansing solution almost spilled on Bunny’s snout instead of his neck. The dog growled in displeasure.

“A pair of dwarven merchants; possibly surface dwarves, a Dalish elf; he has a tattoo on his face but I haven’t heard him speak yet so I’m not sure if he’s from the clans that wandering around here. Plus a few human, Fereldens, from armors, they looked like hired helps.” Leliana gave descriptions quickly. I was impressed with how much details she’d picked up with the amout of time she had, as expected from the later-to-be The Inquisition Spymaster. “I do not think they are injured but…”

“What is it?” Cian asked as he picked up his forgotten daggers, his movement still a bit sluggish but the color had returned to his face.

Leliana glanced over his way for a second before replying. “Oh, Warden Cousland. You seem to be feeling better.”

“Yes, I am still alive.” Irritation was obvious in his tone, as the man flicked the dirt from his blades. “You were saying something about the survivors?”

If Leliana’s feeling was hurt from the tone Cian had used on her, she hadn’t showed it. “Ah, yes. The elf. He said that he had a message for the Warden.”

“From whom?” I frowned at that.

“He wouldn’t say.” She shrugged. “Just that it’s important.”

Quickly wrecking my brain, scrounging for any possibilities and found none. A Dalish, this far from the Brecilian Forest? Who could it be?

“I can go talk to him.” Cian suggested. “You can finish burning these creatures first and join me later.”

“Alright, but take Morrigan with you. She can start incinerate the darkspawn remains or check for the survivors for injuries.”

“What am I, your personal healer?” Morrigan voiced her displeasure from where she’d been standing, her clothes impeccably cleaned once again, not even a single splatter of blood or dirt could be spotted, her pack sat at her feet.

“You’re the only one who can do it right now. So, would you go with him, _please_ , Morrigan?” I plead.

The witch clicked her tongue but moved forward, nonetheless. She grumbled. “Since you’d asked, so nicely….”

“Alistair, leave the dogs to me. You go with them.” I instructed.

“Can’t you tell Sten to go?” He complained half heartily.

“If I wanted them screaming in fright about Large grey skin giant, yeah I would. They’d just witnessed the darkspawn, you want to traumatize them further, be my guess.”

“When you put it like that….” He disengaged from the mabari, tugging the solution flask back to his belt and picked up his pack before joining Cian, Morrigan and Leliana. They made their way back from where the redhead came from between the trees.

“Sten, could you please pick up the arrows for Leliana? She can clean them herself, just pick them up. So, we can move on quickly after this.” I turned to the Waiting Qunari and asked him.

He gave me a long look before nodding. “As you wish…”

 

* * *

  **CIAN**

 

The only time he had felt being so useless was when he fled from Highever with Duncan, leaving his dying father and mother to die in Howe’s hands. It wasn’t as bad this time but still came close enough that it made him frustrated. The buzzing in his head had lessened, his head no longer felt like it was going to implode at any moment, his body less clammy but the humiliation of being incapacitated during the fight was still too fresh in his mind to let it go.

If Kiara hadn’t jumped in front of him and took the blow then, he would have been dead on the ground. His family unavenged, his brother missing and his home left under Howe’s control. All his parents sacrificed so he could escape would be for nothing.

“Don’t feel too bad about it.” He could hear Alistair’s voice coming from beside him. Cian glanced at him for a second. “All wardens experienced that at some point.”

“Kiara didn’t.” He gritted the words out. It wasn’t like he was mad that she wasn’t affect by the taint in their blood. Actually, he just didn’t know what to feel anymore.

“If she did, we might have been annihilated back then. I had no idea how to command a squad. When I was trained to be a templar, it was a lot of memorizing the Chant of Light and how to fight mages. I have no problem with close quarter combat, tell me to charge in and fight, yeah I can do it but battle formations? I haven’t got that far in the training I guess. And from the way Duncan coddled me…it didn’t help either.” Alistair scratched his head. “I didn’t even notice we were being flanked.”

“Me neither.” His head was being pounded from the inside then. “I guess, it’s a good thing then.”

He said it out loud, just to reassure himself. Next time, they might not be so lucky. Kiara could end up like he did, then it was up to him to carry the burden of commands. He just hoped that he wouldn’t fall face down to the ground yet again, though.

“My head’s still buzzing though.” Cian rubbed his temple in hope to lessen the after effect.

“Once we get away far enough from their remains, you should feel better.” Alistair gave him a light pat on the shoulder.

They finally reached the clearing, he could see the wheel marks in the dirt leading to a makeshift camp, black smoke came out from recently distinguished cooking fire, though the cooking pit seemed to be knocked over during the scrimmage. Several human bodies scattered not to far from the center fire. Several died from arrows wounds, others from slashes and cuts to their backs. There were some human bodies leading away toward the bushes, they were clearly trying to flee from the ambush, albeit unsuccessfully. The darkspawn corpses also littered the ground although the number were less than what they had encountered earlier.

The scenario was clear as day. From their clothing, no one with the exception of the sellswords were wearing armors, several died with daggers in their hands but most of the body held no weapons; these were simple refugee, traveling in group, hoping that the numbers would make it safer than by themselves. In the end, it hadn’t mattered. The darkspawn still took them by surprise, attacking them when they were camping down for a meal, killed several before one woman got away and ran toward the road. Some followed, encountered Cian’s party, they then switched the targets to his group, leaving a few at the spot to finish off the travelers.

He then eyed the survivors. One of the dwarf stood close to a panic ox, trying to calm it down while the other checking behind the wagon for damage. Several men covered in dark blood, huddled close among themselves, talking in hush tone. Not even noticed their arrival. And then there was the lone elf. His long hair light brown; a few shades lighter than his own, tied back in in half-pony tail showing the pointed elven ears. He dressed in dark green and brown Dalish armor made of leather, a short bow and quiver slung over this shoulder, he stood apart from the rest, wiping down his daggers. His eyes flicked toward them as he sheathed the curved looking daggers back to his belt straps. But most prominent feature that Cian noticed was the faded green lines tattooed on the elf’s oblong face in the shape of a tree, with the roots started from the bridge of his nose, the lines entwined and shoot up before spread out in branches over his forehead with lines ran from both side of his temple cured back on his high cheekbones.

“These are Warden Alistair and Warden Cousland who had been traveling with me.” Leliana said as the group reached the elf. Cian eyed him with critical look. The buzzing in his ears picked up again, he blamed it on the littering corpses around them.

The elf was tall, taller than any Dalish he had encountered in his younger years in Highever Woods, taller than him even. His deep purple eyes glinted under the sunlight like a gemstone, he gave them a quick look before turned back to Leliana. “They are not whom the message is intended for. She said to give it to a female warden with hair same shade of sunlight.”

“Oh, that’s probably Kiara.” Alistair offered, but at the same time giving the elf a wide berth. “She’s the other warden. She’ll be joining us as soon as she burned all the darkspawn corpses.”

“Whose message is it from?” Cian asked the elf.

“Asha'bellanar.”

“I don’t know what that mean.” He said. But the elf didn’t explain further, instead just gave him a long look.

“Right…” He sighed after a full minute of eye contact. “Well, you can give it to her once she gets here. I’m going to burn these darkspawn before their blood started infecting the land, as well as the human remains.”

His words seemed to cause the elf some sort of emotions, because he violet eyes flickered once again, but maybe it could have been just a trick of light. The elf slung back away from both Cian and Alistair with backward steps, not willing to show his back to them; an obvious show of distrust. Cian clicked his tongue, he wasn’t offended but annoyed by the gesture only a little. He wanted to blame his wonky head for feeling more irritated that normal. Waving his hand at Alistair, they set out to deal with the bodies. They separated them in two piles, one for the human remains and another for the creatures. Leliana and Morrigan checked on the dwarves for any injuries.

“Me and my boy are quite alright, kind ser.” Cian heard the older dwarf said.

“You seem pretty calm, after such an attack from these creatures.” Leliana pointed out, she eyed the several hired swords that still huddled among themselves not too far away. “Calmer than them, I mean.”

He laughed a good nature tone. “We originally came from Orzammar, so encountering the darkspawn is something we’re used to. Isn’t that right, my boy?”

“Enchantment!” A voice with higher pitch came from the younger one.  

“How….peculiar….” Cian heard Morrigan said, her tone amusement.

“I’m sorry for your loss, though.” Leliana gave him a sincere condolence. Eying the smaller pile that Cian and Alistair had left the human remains.

“Ah, well.” The older dwarf glanced and sighed. “We’ve only been traveling together for a few hours. I met them in Lothering where I hired the sellswords for protection then some of the refugees asked to join our party. The bigger the party the safer, they said.”

It proved useless against these wretches however.

“Oi! Dwarf!” One of the men wearing armors called for attention. Both Cian and Alistair only gave them a brief glance but hadn’t stop piling up the body. Dark brown stains were starting to dry up on the men cheap armors as well as their weapons. “When you hired us to protect your stubby arses, you didn’t mention it included fighting off darkspawn! Two of my men died because of that If you wanted us to continue guarding you and your retard son, you better pay us the compensate, yer hear!”

Cian noticed the older dwarf looked stricken at that statement. “But….you already know that I haven’t made any sale ever since we left your village! And what you’d charged me before was already so much. I could have hired a real mercenary with that kind of coins!”

“Well, there’s no mercenary around for yer to hire, is there?” The man laughed before moving in closer to the dwarf, using his taller body to intimidate the shorter party. Leliana frowned and stepped in front of the dwarf, showing her own disapproval.

“Surely, we can talk peacefully, no?” She said calmly with a smile but Cian noticed her hand, inching closer the hilt of a dagger on her hip.

“Get out of my way, wench!” He spat “This’s none of your business!” He turned his attention to the dwarf again. “Listen here, dwarf. You pay us more or we leave your arses here!”

Both Alistair and Cian straightened from what they were doing because of that. These opportunists tried to use their comrade’s deaths to get more money out of these poor sods.

_There will always be more people like them. Always._

Kiara’s words when they had faced the highwaymen the other day came back to him, it resounded inside his head. He finally understood clearly how true those words were.

“But good sers, we don’t have any more coins--” The older dwarf said in panic from where his stood behind Leliana, his body obviously shielding his son as he spoke.

“Yeah, well. You still have wagon full of goods!” The man smiled full of yellow teeth before waved his hand to his company. “Men! Take the wag--”

He didn’t have a chance to finish because a ball of fire flew passed the leader’s face, singeing the tip of his nose and his eyebrows before the flame slammed into the piled of darkspawn, it ignited into a bigger ball of fire. Alistair yelped, If he hadn’t jumped backward in time, he’d probably been set on fire as well.

“Arggghhh!!” The man cried and covered his face with his hand, smoke came out from his burnt hair and skin. Leliana’s reflect was instantaneous, she quickly pushed both dwarves backward, away from the man. Cian’s hands quickly went for his daggers in anticipation of the sudden attack.

“Ah! Sorry, Sorry! I was just trying to help, swear!” A familiar voice had him halted his hand in time before he throw the dagger to where the ball of fire came from. All eyes swung toward the direction of the voice.

Kiara stepped out from between the trees with the dogs on each side, one gloved hand still smoking and Sten menacingly followed behind in her shadow. 

“Kiara! Why are you always trying to kill me!?” Alistair protested. Cian had to agree, last time she freeze one of his leg off.  

“Eh…whoops?….” Scratching the back of her head, she didn’t even try to look repentant.

“Don’t you ‘ _Whoops’_ me!!” Alistair said exasperatedly. Morrigan let out an unladylike snort from where she stood. The whole thing was pretty comical, if you didn’t count—

“You bitch!!!” The leader whipped around to face Kiara, hand still covered half of his face. “How dare you--”

His insult was unfinished when both mabari growled and bared their teeth at the man, made him move back instinctively. Kiara just smiled back showing her own white teeth, it was anything but friendly. Cian felt a sense of déjà vu creeping up his spine. 

“This type of encounter seems to become a recurring theme, eh?” Her tone matched her cold blue eyes. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Alistair visibly flinched from the statement, effectively cutting off his grumble. “How about you leave the nice dwarf alone and get out of here quietly?”

“Oh yeah, what yer gonna d--”

“Sten.” Kiara called, a terrifying smile still plastered on her face. As if on cue, the Qunari stepped out from the shadow of the shade. His face painted with a scowl.

“Dear Maker!! It’s..it’s a Ginat!!!” The man stumbled backward, frightening. The word he used for the Qunari only served to annoy Sten even further, as he let out a deep growling noise, rivaled both war hounds.

“B…boss!” One of sellswords rushed over and grabbed his _boss_ ’s arm, pulling him further away from the tall Qunari. He said in a hushed tone almost in panic. “Boss….maybe, we should…maybe we should go!?”

“Yes, listen to your friend. Or I’m going to let my tall companion here have your organs for his early supper.” Kiara announced with the same smile on her.

“Ri…..Right Away!!” They all shrieked before grabbing their belongings and departed, everything was over less than a minute. As soon as they were gone, Marble happily bounded toward him, all cleaned from the blood and gore of darkspawn. He bended down and scratched behind the ear.

“You weren’t really going to eat them, were you?” Cian asked the tall Qunari who only gave him a grunt as a reply. “Just checking.”

“Bunny, please go help Alistair with the darkspawn. Morrigan if you don’t mind burning the human ones.” The black mabari bounded away happily toward the last few remains, the same with the Witch who moved toward the smaller pile with fire glowing in her palm.

“Leliana, Sorry about the fire ball.” He heard Kiara as the blond moved toward where she had stood with the dwarves. The creepy smile vanished as if never happened, as she addressed the dwarves. “I’m sorry for chasing your hired helps away, they seemed more trouble than they’re worth.”

“No, Ser Warden. I must thank you. If you hadn’t stepped in, they might have robbed me and my son.” The older dwarf admitted. And Cian had to agree with him. “Ah, where are my manners! I am Bodahn Feddic and the boy is my son, Sandal.”

“Well met, Bodahn.” Kiara nodded, understanding. “You know, if you’d like, you can always travel with us. We’d planned to visit many places all over Ferelden. It won’t be absolutely safe but safer than go on by yourselves. I mean, if others don’t mind, that is?”

Well, why he hadn’t think of that!

“I don’t.” He shrugged before tossed Marble a mabari crunch.

“Me neither….” Alistair grumbled but still agreed and the rest didn’t seem to care enough to voice their objections.

The older dwarf brightened at their words. “Oh! That’s a great idea! How could my son and I refuse? Please give us a few moments to finish checking my goods before we depart.”

“Of course.” She nodded before glanced over at Leliana. “Ah, Leliana, Sten have your arrows. But before that please clean yourself off the darkspawn’s blood. You’ll need to do that every time after fighting in close quarter of the darkspawn, for preventing any infection to set in.”

“I will get to it right away.” The redhead said before pulling out her own cleaning cloth and cleansing potion out.

Cian was about to call her over but the elf stepped in her path, catching her attention before be could.

“Warden.” He heard the elf said.

“You’re the Dalish that Leliana told us about.” Kiara paused as she looked straight up to the other’s face. “Did you give Warden Cousland the message?”

“It’s not for him.” He said before pulled out something from his belt pouch, even from where Cian stood he could still see the object clearly. It looked to be a small roll of parchment, shimmering with yellow glow, probably from enchanting. Kiara accepted it with a frown on her face. The glow dispersed as soon as she broke the seal and opened it.

Kiara’s expression was unreadable. She read the content then looking back up at the elf and back down to the content again before gave a long sigh and rubbing her bridge of her nose. “What did you say your name was, again?”

“Theron Mahariel.”

 

* * *

 

**KIARA**

 

_He’s not a gift, nor a boon. He’s an investment, Warden._

_What you do with him is up to you. Take hearts, he will not have long.  
Your answer lies at Soldier’s Peak. You know what to do._

_So, the next time we meet, you’ll remember._

The note wasn’t signed. Well, no one would expect a centuries old witch to sign her damn name anyway. But this was obvious whose note was from. This elf was sent by Flemeth.

_Mahariel._

Yeah, I remembered well who this elf supposed to be. Even though I didn’t usually play as a Dalish in game, I know every name for default Wardens. And _Mahariel_ was such a one. Wasn’t Alistair said that Duncan had tried to recruit a Dalish but the clans had all moved on?

Even without her words, I should have known already that the Witch wouldn’t help him out of the kindness of her heart. (Morrigan would laugh her ass off if she heard what I thought.) Flemeth would have something planned or this elf would be of use to her somehow.    

I eyed the elf again. His exotic purple eyes was somewhat alarming, since I hadn’t seen any one with that kind of eye color before. And man,….he was so…….tall. Wasn’t Elves in Dragon Age supposed to be smaller than human? A few elves I’d seen so far were pretty much about my own height. But this was hardly important, if this elf was really whom he said he was, then he was still infected with the blight sickness. His tattooed face did look a little green and nothing to do with the shade of that Vallasalin had given him. Talking about Vallasalin, it looked most similar those sentinel elves served at her Temple in Arbor Wilds but less intricated, no doubt representing Mythal.     

“How long did she say you have?”

“A month.” The elf replied, before fished a pendant out from under his leather armor. “She gave me this, saying it will halt the spreading but not cure the sickness, nothing but become a grey warden will.”

“How and when did she meet you?”

The elf’s eyes flicked away from her gaze for a moment, his jaw moved, clearly gritting his teeth in discomfort. It took him a full minute before answering. “She found me inside an elven ruin in the Brecillian Forest, nursed me back to health, gave me the message and the pendant before sent me on my way to find you. That was almost a week ago.”

A week ago, so this was probably happened before they even met Flemeth in the wilds. Then he had only about three weeks left. She said an answer was waiting at Soldier’s Peak, the old Grey Warden’s Fortress. What were those answers when I didn’t even know the questions myself.

A demon-possessed-corpse of Sophia Dryden, A crazy warden mage, Lots and lots of undead. Some Grey Warden gears…..

My eyes widened at the realization. Of course! The place was once Grey Warden’s base, true it had been overrun by demons and abandoned for years but many of tomes in the library, catches and schematics that was stashed before King Arland laid siege on the keep should still be intact. The damages by the King’s men and the demons seemed mostly superficial and the Wardens during that times wouldn’t be needing them since they weren’t food or rations.

That also should include the recipe for The Joining as well!  

“Alistair! Cian! A word, please!” Both came as soon as their names left my mouth. Seemed like they were already listening in on the conversation.

“What’s the matter, Kiara?” Cian asked right away, frown on his face as he eyed the elf. “Whose message is it from?”

“I could feel magic emitted off that missive even from where I stand. So, I wonder that too.” Alistair though seemed more subdue still have annoyed look on his face, possibly from my little accident earlier.

Looking at both of them, I considered the words carefully before telling them. “This is Theron Mahariel. If you hadn’t notice, he’s a Dalish elf. And Flemeth sent him to us as a recruit.”

“What?!” Alistair blinked.

“But, why?” Cian frowned deeper and gave the taller elf a side eye.

“Who knows why Flemeth does what she does?” I shrugged and tugged the missive into one of her pouches. “The point is, he’ll be joining us as a Grey Warden recruit.”

“I’m not against increasing our numbers, but we don’t even have The Joining Formula. How are we going to have him go through the ritual?” Alistair voiced his concern.

“As surprising as a reasonable point being made by Alistair--”

“Thank Yo—Wait, what do you mean _surprising_?!”

“—I have to agree with him. We know nothing about this…elf. Abilities wise, I mean. Not because he’s an elf.” Cian crossed his arms. “Also, not that I’m being ungrateful for her help, _again_. But this seems suspicious.”

“You said you travel from the Brecillian Forest, right?” Ignoring Cian’s question, I turned and asked Theron.

“Yes, my clan and I had been living there for several years before…” He paused for a second. “….it’s no longer matter. If you have doubts about my abilities, I am…. _was_ also a hunter of my clan.” 

With that, I turned back to the other two. “There, If he can make his own ways all the way from there to here all by himself, he’s not helpless. As for the joining ritual, she said to look out for a man named Levi Dryden. When he comes for help, the solution will appear for us.” I lied, as long as no one read the note they would have no idea Flemeth mentioned nothing about Levi.

“Levi Dryden? Who’s he?” Alistair asked.

“No idea.” I shrugged and lied again.

“Dryden?....I think I heard that name before from somewhere….” Cian murmured as if to himself.

“Well, I’ve heard tales of the Dalish’s prowess in survival. I’m sure you will do fine!” Alistair slapped Theron’s back in a friendly manner. “I’m Alistair, by the way.”

“And I am Cian Cousland. But can call me Cian.”  

“Well met.”

While leaving them to introduced themselves to each other, I pulled out my(Amell’s) notebook out from the backpack before moved Flemeth’s message from my belt pouch to between the pages. The magic I felt when touching the paper had disappeared, it seemed Flemeth had sealed the missive with some kind of spell, probably for security reasons and when I break the seal it left nothing but a piece of paper. Scribbling down the dates and estimated time of Theron’s arrival and the duration before his time ran out. I’d remembered of course, but it’d never hurt to keep a reminder. Considering, the tasks waiting for them at Redcliffe. If nothing deviated too much from in-game information, we would have to head straight to the Circle Tower right after, for the Mages’ Help as well as the Lyrium to free Corner from the Dem—

A long absent of conversation had me looked up from the pad and were met with three pairs of eyes, looking at her expectedly.

“What?”

“You haven’t actually introduced yourself.” Theron said.

“Yeah, everyone else already did.” Cian added. “Even your mabari.”

“Haven’t I?” I blinked and shut the notepad closed, sliding it back inside my pack. “Kiara Amell. You can call me Kiara, or Amell, same things really.”

Theron gave me another long look, like he wanted to say something but instead, he nodded. “As you say.”

Decided not to linger about the reaction, I looked around at the states of everyone else; Morrigan, stood by the second pyre for human remains. Leliana, already cleaned of blood stains were not far from her with both hand clapped together, probably praying for the souls of the dead. Sten looked down at Marble, seemingly having conversation going on. Bodahn and Sandal just finished secured their wagon. Bunny bumped his head at my leg, I unconsciously bent down and gave him a light scratch.

“Everything’s in order, Bodahn?”

“Yes, Grey Warden!” The older dwarf replied happily just as his son climbed up the back of the wagon and settled in.      

“Alright, once again for our travel companions.” I said as everyone gathered around. “The plan for the moment is trying to reach Lake Luthias where we will camp for the night. We leave early the next morning, by heading north toward Redcliffe.”

“Sounds about right.” Cian nodded.

“Alistair, you and the dogs take point this time, since you’re the only one most familiar with the area.”

Alistair blinked. “…..I…am?”

“Well, didn’t you say that you grew up in Redcliffe?” Cian narrowed his eyes at the blond man.

“Uh…yes, right!” Without waiting, he ushered the mabari toward where the road was.

“I’m guessing that you want Bodahn’s wagon in the middle?” I nodded at Cian’s inquiry. “Then, I will watch the flank with Sten.” He paused and turned to the tall elf once again. “I still don’t trust the old witch. I don’t why she send you to us, whatever her reason was. Only thing I care about is that you don’t slow us down, got it?”

“I won’t.” The elf simply replied.

“I’d hope so.” With that he marched away toward the ox-drawn wagon, helping Bodahn redirecting the vehicle back to the road. Sten quietly joined them, followed closely by both Leliana and Morrigan.

“You haven’t tell them about my…. _condition_.” Theron said in a hushed tone once we dug under the shade of the trees again.

I shrugged. “I will, when that information becomes relevant.”

Theron nodded, seemingly grateful. It was obvious that there was more to the story than just being plucked out of the forest by Flemeth. The time that Duncan passed through the Brecillian Forest only to find Theron’s clan had moved on, only meant that he would have been infected from the mirror right around the time Cian left Highever and before Amell was recruited, well…give or take a few days different. What exactly happened to him aside from getting infected with the blight sickness?…..I had no idea.

A lot of things had changed from the supposed ‘canon’, things like there were more than one of ‘The Warden’, made me wonder if the rest of the supposed _candidates_ were still alive at some point. Encountering Hawke family in Lothering. The knight we’re supposed to meet in Lothering chantry had also gone. No doubt, many things would deviate from what was.

I just had to figure out what those things were.

 

* * *

Without much fanfare, we got back on the Imperial highway and continued with our journey. This time, Alistair and the hounds took point in leading the party. Followed by me and Theron. Morrigan and Leliana hung back from the two of us a few steps, closer to the Wagon, manned by Bodahn and his son. The rear consisted of Cian and Sten. 

After a couple of hours of continuedly trekking on foot, we passed through the East Gate. The Terrain became steeper the deeper we traveled west ward. Once we reached the Crossroad; Different from what I remembered from Inquisition, there were no settlements or farmsteads at all, just a lone wooden pole that house direction signs. So, as we’d planned, instead of head north straight to Redcliffe, we turned south and toward the small hills where Lake Luthias would be. Once we deviated from the small highway, the road was no longer paved with stone, just simple dirt road but wide enough that Even Bohdan’s Wagon could travel with ease. And by the time the sun was about to set, we finally reached the lower waterfall of Lake Luthias where we deemed appropriated for camping for the night.

Everyone set out to secure the perimeter and other relevant tasks. Leliana and Theron volunteered to hunt some games for supper while leaving Alistair and Sten to set up the camping equipment. I had Morrigan teach me the warding spell for camp site, took me a few tries to set up a decent ward though. I also cast warming glyphs on each of our tents, knowing Ferelden Nights were still chilling this time of year. By the time Leliana and Theron came back with already skinned rams, Alistair and Sten had the cooking pit lit up and ready to go.       

The supper was a simple affair comparing to Leandra’s delicious feats the night before but the roasted ram was still much better than my usual protein bars and MREs. They decided to held on to the dried foods in their packs for the future days when hunting games wasn’t an option.

Dusk fell and day became night. The camp was illuminated mainly by the pit fire as a center. A few torches were set up around the area as well. Bodahn and Sandal retired quickly right after finishing their meals, their shared tent set up closed to their parked wagon, possibly too tired after a day of much excitement. I hadn’t had time to ask Sandal for his expertise but that could wait for another day. Sten also excused himself after his meal, I spied he had picked a quiet spot near the lake bank for a meditation spot.

After the cleanup, the rest of us still too awaked to head to bed for the day, even Morrigan, Surprisingly. We sat down around the fire, cleaning our armors and sharpened our weapons. So, I offered to brew some tea for everyone but not before adding a few drops of spirit that I bought from _Dane’s Refuge_ , no one had complained about their tea being spiked.

“Redcliffe is actually a very small town comparing to others.” Alistair explained after taking a sip of his tea. “But don’t let it fool you, the castle sitting on the cliff had never been fallen to any assaults. There’s a settlement below, mostly fishermen and traders though.”

“My Father used to say that _The fate of Redcliffe is the fate of all Ferelden_. Because Redcliffe is the first and last line of defense into Ferelden.” Cian added while wiping his dagger with polishing oil. “Arl Eamon is more than just a brother to former Queen Rowan or an uncle to the King Cailan. His men are well trained and well equipped. The last time I’d heard of the arl, it was before I left Highever, he was still healthy then.”

“The timing of his illness does raise suspicious.” Leliana nodded without pausing the motion of her hand as she sharpened the arrow heads.

“You think, Loghain has something to do with this?” Alistair frowned down at shield he’d been cleaning. 

“We won’t know for sure until we know what caused his illness.” Cian explained. “But there’s also something else that has been bothering me ever since we passed into Hinterlands….”

“You mean those abandoned houses and farms we saw on the way?” I said and took another swig of my spiked tea before set it down next to a spot where I’d been sitting crossed legs, before picking the whetstone up again. “Yeah, it bothers me too.”

“It’s been a few years since I’ve travel through this part of Ferelden but I remember well that there were people living in those cottages. Maybe the villagers had retreated inside the city proper? But that only happened when they faced an invasion.” Alistair offered his opinion. Worry painted his face. “With Lady Isolde sending the knights out searching for cures, I’m worried how much protection the town actually have.”

 _Not Much_ , I thought but didn’t say it out loud. Instead, I said. “Combines that with communication blackout, I think we should prepare for the worse tomorrow.”

Morrigan cleared her throat, pulling attention of everyone to her. “It might not be the best time to mention this but, I’ve noticed ever since we entered The Hinterlands, the Veil is unexpectedly thin here, almost like…..Ostagar and the Wilds.”

Halting my sharpening motion on _Starfang_ , I frowned at her words. It was true that the Fade had be pulling at me more than usual all the while we were traveling up to the lake. But I had thought nothing of it until now.

“I remember Kiara said something like that when we were in Korcari Wilds.” Cian pointed out while sliding his now cleaned and polished dagger into its sheath. “….about a lot of dead people, right?”

“Tis over simplifications but yes.” The witch grimaced at her tea after only a sip, clearly not suiting her taste. She put it down before continued. “A lot of things can cause the Veil to become thin. A place of great battlefields, yes. Also any aged old place where dead piling over times. Or when someone deliberately trying to manipulate the Veil.”

“You are talking about blood mages…” That wasn’t a question from Alistair.

“Not necessary.” She shrugged. “Despite the worthless _preaching_ of your chantry, the act of using blood as medium itself didn’t affect the Veil that much, it’s the contact with the spirit that might cause the shift between the barrier.” Morrigan paused for a moment. “Imagine the Veil a piece of fabric and Spirits passing through it, the more they force itself through…the more worn down it becomes. And interacting with demons by using blood magic is nothing short of stabbing the Veil with a butter knife.”

“As far as I know, there’s no mage living in Redcliffe. There was one but the man moved away many years ago.” Alistair gave up polishing his shield and started putting the kit away.

“The two things might not even be relates but ‘tis something to consider.” Morrigan stood up. “In any case, ‘tis time for me to retire. Good Night.”

With that Morrigan walked away from the bonfire toward her little corner she set up a bit further away from everyone but still within the ward. Then, Leliana was next to depart from the fire, after she packed away all the arrows she had sharpened. 

“I will take the first watch.” Cian offered as he started working on his other daggers. “Still have to finish these.”

“I’ll stay with you.” To everyone’s surprise it was Theron who hadn’t said a word throughout the entire conversation. Cian narrowed his eyes a fracture at the elf but nodded in response.

“All right, don’t mind me then. Good night to you!” Alistair waved his hand before ducked inside his tent that was the closest to the fire.

Even though I’d never need no more than 4 hours of sleep to begin with but the tiredness in my muscles from a full day trek was taking a toll on my--Amell’s body, it was clear that she never had to do this much walking since she’d always stuck inside that tower. Something that I was fixing to rectified in the near future. Sure, the newfound _Warden Stamina_ had been helping but with more training, Amell’s body could be faster, more agile, the strength in the wrists and arms needed to increase so I could take harder blows without having to redirect them. So even if I wasn’t asleep just yet, I still need to lay down and stretch my legs for the a few hours.

“Wake me up when your watch end.” I said, clearing up my weapon maintenance kit and my cup away before ducking inside my own tent, instead of completely closing the flap I left it just enough for the light from the bonfire to slip in.

After taking off my armors and boots, setting them aside together next to my pack, I laid down on my bed roll before pulling out Malcom Hawke’s worn leather tome from my pack. Settled back with the book opened on my chest, I flipped the cover opened and started reading the first page written in neat, almost elegant hand writing.

 

* * *

 

 **A/N ::** As you noticed, this is mostly a transition chapter. And for Mahariel’s appearance, yeah, I’d planned it for sometimes. He was actually in there from the beginning in the first draft of this story but I changed it and now you got this instead lol 

Next chapter, Redcliffe under siege. 

Hope you guys enjoy it! Once again thank you for kudos/reviews/subs/bookmarks! ;D        

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone who give this story a chance! 
> 
> The first chapter is pretty long, the next one will be a bit shorter. I’ve been writing this story for a while now, it takes me a bit longer than usual because English is not my first language. So, please be patient with me.


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